Year One

Year one is the latest fingerprint of a Judd Apatow produced movie. Harold Ramis is directing and helped pen the script. The movie takes place in biblical times where Michael Cera (Superbad) and Jack Black are out casted from their village and wander through some important religious events. Some in Hollywood have said this is going to be a bit controversial and that is why it has been such a tight lipped project. The movie is due out in theaters June 19th.

Success: Apatow is producing with a capable comedic director in Ramis. Jack Black can be hilarious at times. The premise has been compared to Monty Python's Life of Brian which is a cult classic in terms of comedy. Always look on the bright side of life....

Failure: Black takes chances and often misses with roles. Michael Cera is tad overrated has a young actor even though his performance in Juno was commendable. If this movie hits too many religious marks it may get crucified along with its script.

Tomorrow: Revolutionary Road starring Leonardo Decaprio and the ever beautiful Kate Winslet.

Gems of the New Year

2009 of could prove to be a very lucrative year for the cinema. The economic struggles of the world could lead people to the box office in flocks in search of some sort of escapist fantasies. There will be many characters that will be revisited this year such as Harry Potter and Optimus Prime. Judd Apatow will try to continue is fail safe comic formula and the heavyweights of Hollywood will do and battle in several films. The comic book genre will again get an influx of films that will grace us again with X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Watchmen. Over the next few days I will examine upcoming movies for the new year and tell you why they might fail or succeed. Today's Roar is dedicated to the theme of "hope" for 2009.

First up, Public Enemies starring Christian Bale and Johnny Depp.

This is a Michael Mann production which will be released this summer. Bale will play Melvin Purvis the agent that tracked and eventually caught criminal John Dillinger played by Depp.

Success: This movie could be a classic. Both Bale and Depp are more than capable of making this an Untouchables like film. Johnny Depp's range as an actor is limitless and Bale seems to be the go to hero these days. 1930's crime dramas are appealing to those who yearn for good yarns from yesteryear.

Failure: Mann's Miami Vice was just flat out boring. I am yawning just thinking about it. If Bale is just a big time actor put into a role that minimizes his abilities next to Depp's than this could be a disaster. Public Enemies is almost too promising much like American Gangster and Road to Perdition.

Tomorrow: Year One starring Jack Black and Michael Cera

In Case You Missed It Two: No Country for Old Men and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

No Country for Old Men is quirky ride that is both captivating and frustrating. It is difficult to see this movie as the best picture of 2007 because it feels incomplete. Joel and Ethan Coen have done something magnificent for three fourths of a film. The movie is shot beautifully and the performances of Josh Brolin (Llellwyn Moss) and Javier Bardem’s haunting portrayal of Antone Chigurh are well done. There are so many things to love about this movie, but for most of you, you’ll end up hating it. It feels like a lost investment.
Josh Brolin plays the “everyman” as Moss and at first it seems apparent that the Coens want him to be the lead protagonist. He “stumbles” upon two million dollars after a violent drug deal has gone wrong in the Texas badlands. Moss’s dilemma is about “what to do with the money?” He decides to put his young wife into early retirement and keep the money. What ensues is a cat and mouse chase between Moss and a psychotic hitman named Antone Chigurh. Brolin is put into some very pulse pounding situations and proves to be a more than serviceable adversary for a professional like Chigurh. Brolin plays Moss as someone who is resourceful in life and death situations. This makes for some the most intense scenes on screen you’ll ever see.
Javier Bardem’s Antone Chigurh is frightening as a villain. He lacks a conscious and has one of the more unique ways of killing a victim. He to is resourceful and plays by a different set of rules. Bardem deserves credit for creating a character that is involving and truly scary. He is representative of something we cannot understand. Chigurh is the Coens greatest achievement in this movie. Bardem’s Chigurh turns a quarter into a life changing event for victims and this makes for a scene that is beyond doubt a classic cinematic moment.
Tommy Lee Jones plays the cop who is at the end of his career and is “blessed” with the unenviable task of hunting down both men. He is the “old man” in the title and want nothing more to end his working life on a high note by solving the mystery behind the missing two million dollars. Jones plays a role we are familiar with. The fugitives name however is not Dr. Richard Kimble. Jones is probably the most interesting character in the film, but at times his portrayal is at times, disjointed. There are some scenes between Jones and his deputy that are true gems.
So, what is wrong with No Country for Old Men? The ending is so frustrating that it is impossible to “love” this movie. I know the movie is based off of the book by Cormac McCarthy and a metaphor for putting the old working class people out to pasture after they have served there use to society. Jones speaks in metaphors in the final act and frankly it doesn’t work. Metaphors are a LITERARY DEVICE saved for books. Film-goers invest two hours and are rewarded with a metaphor. If they wanted that they could have picked up a copy of the book. The reason this movie is disappointing is that it is EXCELLENT for the most part, but leaves viewers feeling empty by the end credits. There is No Country for unfinished movies.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry is a complete disgrace to hetero and homosexuals. I want to say that I really like Kevin James and I think Adam Sandler is a very talented actor. They have a chance to really make a statement here and drop the proverbial ball. This is NOT an impactful drama or a comedy. Those of you that laughed should be ashamed. This film is most offensive towards intelligent heterosexuals.
Sandler and James play New York City firefighters. James plays the family man who lost his wife too early and is raising two young children. Sandler is Mr. February in the firehouse yearly calendar of “sexy” firemen. He is the womanizing party animal. James and his family are denied benefits that his children seem to be entitled to if he dies on the job, but because of his deceased wife and single status the city of New York in their infinite wisdom has revoked his benefits unless he can prove he is married. He enters into what is supposed to be the holy union of marriage with his best friend. The premise is that this arrangement will allow him to take care of his children if he dies on the job. Sandler reluctantly agrees to marry his best friend in Canada.
This movie fails miserably to be funny, poignant, or tolerant of gays. It is a very insincere movie that pokes fun at every gay stereotype. There isn’t one masculine gay character throughout the film. Ving Rhames plays the supposedly closeted tough firemen. There is a shower scene in which Sandler and James’s relationship has been disclosed to the firehouse and the soap gets dropped. All of the straight guys refuse to get the soap because it is a known fact that all gays will mount you if you drop the soap in the shower. All of us straight guys know that to be a fact. Rhames enters the shower and the commotion stops as he picks up the soap and in a very feminine way starts to sing “I’m every Woman.” I guess I was supposed to laugh, but I was so offended and truly embarrassed to be straight.
Enter the beautiful Jessica Biel as James’s lawyer and the female love interest of Sandler. She is purposely put into this movie to remind us that we are not gay. That by watching a movie about homosexuality we will not catch the “Gay.” Biel’s brother in the film happens to be gay and she does a lot for the advancement of gay rights and that is the problem with Chuck and Larry. It isn’t about gay rights, it is about the right to make fun of gays and turn a profit of the backside of a big star in Sandler. It so happens that Biel’s brother is, you guessed it, a flamboyant gay character.
Chuck and Larry spends most of its time telling us how gay we are not. Sandler beds Hooters girls and an ugly Eastern European maid. Dan Akroyd has a bit part as the fire chief and gives a “lesson” on being tolerant about other lifestyles at the end of the film. The movie had a chance to address a real problem in a comical way, but instead becomes and insensitive piece of gay bashing worthy of the title hate crime.

Just In Case You Missed It: Hard Candy (2005)

Hard Candy is psychological thriller that follows a different set of rules. It is character study of the things we want to do and don’t because of the social and legal ramifications. Pedophilia is a very scary place to take a trip to in any type of art. It is the embodiment of a sickness. Pedophiles are people we want to take off of the street by any means necessary. When we watch a newscast and hear a story of a child predator in our community it ignites a rage in most of us. We talk about the harm we would like to inflict on the perpetrator, but do not have the resources or the courage to follow through. Ellen Page (Juno) plays 14 year-old Haley Stark, an intelligent, well-spoken child who doesn’t fit the typical victim profile She is self-confident and very self-aware. Patrick Wilson (Watchmen) plays Jeff Kohlver a 32 year-old photographer. He is good looking, educated, and like Hayley, does not fit the profile of a child predator. This movie is really about two characters, one doing the expected and the other doing the unexpected. Kohlver lures young Haley to his apartment and before you know it there is some awkward sexual tension between the two. Kohlver cannot see past his dark desires to see the plan that Hayley has plotted for him. Haley actually is on a revenge mission to avenge the rape and death of another young girl whom she suspects was murdered by Kohlver. After sharing a few screwdrivers together, Kohlver finds himself to be drugged and soon passes out only to awake tied to a chair. This is the beginning of two great performances and Page is actually better in this role pre-Juno. Hayley maps out her plan for Kohlver and divulges how she entrapped him. The movie succeeds here because she gives the audience an explanation for her motives. Unlike most thrillers, it isn’t as simple as it seems. What we get as an audience is some “eye covering” moments involving torture in the form psychological warfare and castration. It is not done without cause and we soon start to feel for Hayley. She is just fourteen and what horror did this man inflict upon her friend to drive her to these extreme measures? The conversations in this film are real and heartfelt. Some will say Hayley is a character built out of man hate. I say she is hero who stands up for all the victims of sex-abuse who cannot stand-up for themselves. Wilson’s Kohlver is extremely manipulative and he plays his role perfectly. It may be difficult for some, but taking a piece of Hard Candy is well worth it.

Villians!

True on –screen villains are characters that we despise and cannot wait to see them meet their final doom. There has to be a true hatred for a villain to exist. He or she is the character that gives you actual feelings of anger as you watch them plot and plan the demise of a hero or protagonist. A villain is a portrait into the darkest recesses of the human psyche. They are representative of everything ugly about life. Their personalities can be best described as unexplained. A true villain does not have a clear past. It is the one thing they hide so that vulnerability cannot be found. His or her intentions must be muddled at best. They are lost demons roaming freely and written into scripts to further an understanding of our main characters. They should not be caricatures or liked, and most importantly they should not garner any sympathy from the audience.

Today’s Roar will focus on my list of top the top five movie villains I despise. Darth Vader does not count even though he is evil, his intentions are not always to hurt or cause pain and he can choke people by putting his index finger to his thumb and that is just cool. Freddy Krueger does not count because in a sick way I kind of pull for him just so I can hear stupid one-liners. The villains for this list must be unlikable.

5) Principal Vernon (The Breakfast Club)-What a douche! I’m a swell guy he says. I say I hate you from the bottom of my soul.

4) Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest)-Louise Fletcher was scary as hell in this role. There was nothing likable about Nurse Ratched. Poor Chief. I’m sad just thinking about this movie. What a colossal bitch!

3) Captain Vidal (Pan’s Labyrinth)-Seriously scary and mean. Whiskey pouring through a hole in his cheek still haunts me. He is the vacuum that sucked the imagination out of our hero. I detested him from the first scene.

2)King Edward Longshanks (Braveheart)-Homophobe! He was not a nice character. I wanted to put on a kilt and cut him up by the end of this one. It was great scene when it was whispered into his ear that his heir would have the bloodline of William Wallace. FREEDOM!

1)Ivan Drago (Rocky IV)-Yeah, you’ll dispute this, but remember how much we all hated the Russians in the 80’s. We were taught to loathe anything Moscow. He was so clever with his words too, If he dies, he dies. Good one Drago. Here are some blue jeans and a loaf of bread, go have fun at the Kremlin. I’m going to run up a mountain and shout your name.

Totally Tubular

The 80’s were a decade of “unique clothing” styles, synthesized music, and the golden age of video games. Being a child of the 80’s meant that your floor was littered with Transformers, GI Joe’s, and the occasional Ewok. Pac-Man Fever was running rampant and Strawberry Shortcake was spreading kindness. Punky Brewster ruled the air waves along with ALF from Melmak. Madonna was like a virgin, but Michael Jackson claimed the kid was not his son. MTV actually had music videos and we looked forward to seeing cutie Martha Quinn countdown the videos of the day. This was the time when Saturday morning cartoons actually meant something. Kids would sit with a bowl of cereal and watch T.V. until 10am before going to practice or lessons. This was the 80’s and in its own subtle way it was special.
Hollywood sees the 80’s a chance to reinvent the decade. Knight Rider will once again play this fall on NBC. Transformers was a huge theatrical success. GI Joe is on its way to theaters and Atari games can now be played via a joystick that connects directly to the television. Personally, I love(d) the shows and movies of the 1980’s. So, what will the time machine of Hollywood bring back to us?

Today’s Roar is dedicated to the 1980’s and the rumblings of bringing back some classics. I do not necessarily agree with reinventing the wheel, but I did enjoy certain things about the decade.
Things that were cool long ago…

5) V Mini-Series-The geniuses in Hollywood have a script in place to make a big budget movie. The series was one of my favorites and still ranks as one of the highest rated shows of all time.

Why I loved it?-It was cool as a kid to see Lizards harvesting humans, but as I got older, it was easy to see the allegory to Nazi Germany.

4) The Goonies-This was the adventure of all adventures. It involved riding bikes and searching for treasure. There is a script that is FINALLY in place to go ahead with a sequel or a reimaging. Some things are meant to be left untouched.

Why I loved it?-Imagination, Imagination, Imagination. I totally immersed myself into the role of the kids following the legend of Chester Copperpot. I still ride my bike and look for lost ships.

3)GI Joe-Let’s take GI Joe and put the movie into the hands of Mummy director, Stephen Sommers. This is a bad idea. I think the studio execs forgot that knowing is half the battle.

Why I loved it?-Swivel Grip, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the anatomically advantaged Baroness. The cartoon was the same episode or storyline everyday, but I watched religously at 4pm. It was very cool to get my “by mail” Sgt. Slaughter.

2)Fantasy Movies-Legend, Labyrinth, and the Dark Crystal. There is a supposed sequel to the Dark Crystal and it seems to have been in production forever. Genddy Tartakovsky will direct, so hope remains for its 2009 release.

Why I loved it? Tim Curry as the Lord of Darkness still scares the crap out of me. The world of The Dark Crystal seemed existent back then. Henson’s world still has an impact and Gefflings might be real.

1)Classic Cinema-The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, ET, Back to the Future, The Terminator and on and on…

Why I loved it? These movies are classics. They have tried to duplicate the success of each of these films in some way or another over the years. Do remember Darth Vader’s admission to Luke, the FIRST time Elliot’s bike levitates with ET in his basket, Han thawing from carbonite, and Arnold saying, “I’ll be Back” before ramming a truck through the front door of the police station?

Times to Remember

Bruce Springsteen said it best, “Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of, well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister but boring stories of glory days.” This is so true when it comes to getting older and realizing that your best days are probably behind you. We mistakenly try to live vicariously through our children instead of just letting our children live. We remember a time when we were kids rooting and cheering men playing a game on television. Now, we are men cheering and jeering “kids” playing the same game. Oh, how times have changed. Yet, when it comes to the “glory days” I feel that I am better off now. I have, like many of you, realized that I am better equipped to deal with the rigors of life. However, I still look back fondly of the days when I could actually throw a baseball and not have the need to pop four Aleve after “stretching” out my arm. Gone are those days when I could play anything for 8 or 9 hours straight. Gone are the days of chasing pretty girls or in my case, any girl that would have me. I now refer to these days as the best days of my life, but my memory still holds on to the “glory days.”

Today’s Roar features movies of those whose fire has been extinguished by time.

5) The Best of Times-Kurt Russell returns to his “glory days” as a high school quarterback to avenge the heartbreaking loss of a cross town rival. Robin Williams manipulates him into one last shot at glory. It is still hard to watch because Williams playing a wide receiver is not plausible, but he is from ORK…

4) Rocky Balboa-The more times I watch this movie the better it becomes. Rocky has been put out to pasture and his sidekick Pauly is right beside him. Rocky has to go out on his on terms. I love the tone of this movie because ageism does exist and when have you finally earned the right to do the things you love?

3) American Beauty-This movie epitomizes mid-life crisis. Kevin Spacey is driven to look, feel, and act young. He needs to recreate a time in his life when things were simple and everything felt new. And just when you finally have your epiphany….blam!

2) The Hustler-Eddie Felson is the hot new pool player trying to learn and knock off Minnesota Fats. This is a classic not to be outdone by the remake The Color of Money. Never confuse talent for experience. Gleason and Newman star and it is reminder of what great actor Jackie Gleason truly was.

1) Kingpin-Roy Munson, con-man, alcoholic, and bowler. His days of bowling are long gone and it doesn’t help that he has but one hand…creepy! I am above the law!

Hey, You Copied!

Imagine if five years from now a group of Hollywood execs get together and decide to reimage a movie for a “new” generation. Imagine the movie being something classic or revered. Now imagine the execs casting the movie to “appeal” to the “new” generation. Imagine the movie being Jaws or The Godfather. Now, wipe the vomit off of your shirt, but realize this is the new direction of Hollywood. Hollywood has lost its eye for originality and the movie-goer is being asked to pay the price. It is disheartening to see the business continually head down this path. Reimaging movies is a bad idea. A good example has to be Rob Zombie’s Halloween. An abysmal film made for a “new” generation of horror fans or Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Now, I’ll get the argument that Burton is a respected director, but how many times has he dropped the proverbial “ball” recently? Need I remind you of Planet of the Apes? Reimaging a movie or idea is like repainting the Sistine Chapel because the medium used to paint it isn’t contemporary. This is a sad time in Hollywood because the copycats are lurking and ready to stand on the shoulders of the greats and ruin little slices of cinematic history. It is a matter of time before Dwayne Johnson stands on the side of vessel and says “We are going to need a bigger boat.”

Here are some “re-imagings” that have already been greenlit or already in production….

Alice in Wonderland (Alice)-My man Burton is back at it again to ruin yet another classic story. Tim, your style is one of my favorites, but when can we return to Beetlejuice or Edward Scissorhands? Please don’t mess up this classic tale. I always thought of Alice as being older too, so don’t cast Abigail Breslin. I know Johnny Depp will appear, but you couldn’t direct a new Pirate movie instead?

Friday the 13th-Do we really need to see Jason again? Really? I love horror and I love slasher flicks. I love that they were my first brush with naked boobs, but we are beyond this now. The horror movies of today lack the style of the cheap horror of the 80’s. Cha Cha Cha!

A Nightmare on Elm Street-See Above. Without Robert Englund!

The Day the Earth Stood Still-Keanu Reeves stars in this sci-fi classic. Eww!

Death Race-As if the original were awesome.

Robocop-Yup. Coming soon. I cannot wait to see this crapfest.

Adventures in Babysitting-Starring Raven Simone. Oh, the anticipation is killing me. Will Thor reappear?

Weird Science-Arrested Development creator is attached. Who will play LeBrock’s character? This movie got cooler with age.

Footloose-When I get mad, I dance! I was thinking the other day, we need another Footloose. I hope it has a poignant message like the original. RIP Chris Penn.

Surprise!

It is a rainy Monday afternoon during the dog days of summer. The temperature is 99 degrees with a heat index of 105. You are hot and the beach is out of the question. You pick up the newspaper and look at moving listings because a cold theater and a matinee is just what you need. The problem is you have seen every Summer Blockbuster and nothing intrigues you to the point of excitement. You notice a couple of titles that sound familiar and may have some promise. Maybe you just need to get out of the house and cool off in chilly movie theater. You decide to take your chances and grab your car keys. When you arrive at the theater there is the scattering of patrons, but nothing monumental has been released lately so it is seemingly deserted. There is no wait for popcorn and two pimple faced ushers are discussing whether or not the have a shot of "hooking up" with Miley Cyrus. This could be a bad day, but you are determined to enjoy whatever mind numbing movie you choose. You buy your ticket and grab your popcorn and Sno-caps. The actual screening room has about ten people sprinkled about in their seats. You take your seat and two hours pass without a blink. What happened in those two hours? You were surprised beyond belief. You just found a cinematic jewel. You didn’t expect it, but it happened. You feel like a professor of archaeology and you just unearthed a great find that may change civilization. This is the power of cinema. This is the unexpected and your day out was well worth the price of admission.

Today’s Roar is dedicated to Johnny K. who gave me the idea for the blog. These are movies that caught me “off guard.” I didn’t expect much or had no expectations at all for these films. By the end of each of these movies I was pleasantly surprised. John was taken aback by American Beauty and I’m guessing the screenplay had him floored.

5) Major League-I remember thinking this would be a slapstick comedy and what I saw on screen was baseball movie with a Rocky style twist. It is one of the most quoted movies ever made and a delight for any baseball fan. I’d take a whiz on Dorn’s contract!

4) Jurassic Park-I heard about the book. I heard it was a Spielberg film, but I had no clue it was going to be fun. Jurassic Park had my heart pounding for two hours and John William’s score gave me goose bumps. “You bred raptors?”

3) Gone Baby Gone-This could have been a paint-by-numbers thriller, but it was Casey Affleck’s finest hour. It brought up one of the great moral dilemmas in cinema. I was surprised at how well this movie handled several issues. The twist was well worth the investment.

2) Blast from the Past-By all rights this movie should be deemed terrible, but I had to laugh at Christopher Walken’s portrayl of the paranoid anti-soviet father. The underground bomb shelter was kind of cool and Brendan Fraser’s ascension to the “top of the world” was interesting. This was a good movie and to say I was surprised in an understatement.

1) Hotel Rwanda-Don Cheadle was absolutely riveting in this moving, real-life drama. It was an education on genocide and raised awareness on the plight of Tutsis and Hutus. We said genocide would never happen again after World War II, however 100, 000 people were slaughtered in Rwanda in 100 days. I am still moved by this picture and in my opinion it is one of the best movies ever made. “Surprised,” doesn’t entirely convey how I felt after seeing this movie.

Oh What A Knight!

“…Some men just want to watch the world burn.”-Alfred

Over the past few weeks I have read about thirty different reviews in regards to The Dark Knight. The word that I have read numerous times is “hyperbole” and the fear of each critic to use the word in their review. Some have said The Dark Knight is the greatest superhero movie of the genre. I would like to take this moment to let those critics know how very wrong they are. The Dark Knight is not one of the greatest superhero movies ever, it is one of the great MOVIES ever to be made and will go into the annals of movie making as such. I often judge a movie on whether it is re-watchable. This movie has my money for a repeat viewings and a copy of the Blu-Ray DVD and that is saying something in this age of copycat cinema. I have heard this movie being compared to The Godfather and frankly, I agree with that statement. In The Godfather not a minute of screen time is wasted on frivolous plot angles. The Dark Knight tells its story in the same manner and it does it very effectively. It would take about five viewings for me to cram in all of the reasons why this is the “perfect” movie to hyperbolize. I won’t waste your time. Instead, I’ll break it down into segments without spoiling the plot. This is going to be difficult because the story is impeccable and deserves deeper analyzing.

THE FOCUS-This isn’t a movie about Batman, The Joker, Harvey Dent, or Rachael Dawes. This movie is about Gotham and its dysfunction. In this Gotham, people die just like in any other city. People are knifed, shot with real bullets, and the attitudes of the citizens reflect that of any major American city. In this Gotham, there are no buildings taken from brightly colored comic books. The setting is tangible and familiar. It is lived in and beaten. Gotham is a reflection of our society. It is confused when the lines become blurred and in some instances hope is fleeting even with the Batman as its self proclaimed guardian. This movie isn’t about a villain in Gotham, but villains working from the outside and inside to take the city’s pride and turn in it on itself. This is the Gotham Bruce Wayne has sworn to protect. The setting of Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight is the true gem of this masterpiece.

THE JOKER- Is Heath Ledger as good as they say? He is better than they say. Ledger’s Joker deserves accolades and they would have been thrust upon him whether he was alive or not. He will get an Oscar nod and probably win. There is just no debate with his performance. His performance is the epitome of “good acting.” The amazing thing about Ledger in The Dark Knight is the script doesn’t allow him to steal the show. He doesn’t play a caricature of himself like so many other campy screen villains. This Joker is quick witted, scary, and just plain mean. He is born out of hate and the truth is there is no winning even when you have defeated him. His machinations are real and are intent on causing pain. He is the dark to the light and takes pleasure in the fact that Batman needs him. Personally, I was scared of The Joker because he has no real motives for inflicting damage. He can not be bought or bartered.

BRUCE WAYNE/BATMAN- Christian Bale’s Batman is actually the third character in his own movie. Batman is pushed to his limits several times. He is on the verge of becoming that of which he hates. Unlike any superhero before him, he must become the anti-hero without stepping over the “blurred line.” This Batman exists in our world. He isn’t invincible and is always in true danger. He is the one superhero who can be hurt and you can feel that on screen. He needs the police, politicians and his alter ego to defend the symbolism of The Dark Knight. Batman IS the people of Gotham and any villain trying to make a statement had better remember that Batman is more than man, he is a city. He is forced to make tough decisions and stick by those decisions no matter the consequences. People will die on his watch and the time to reflect on his decisions is limited. This is played with wonderful balance on screen.

HARVEY DENT- Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) is the most intriguing of the three main characters. He is an ambitious DA and is truly trying to help Gotham. He realizes the toll organized crime has taken on the city. He realizes Batman is but one man and realizes that evil always lurks in the hearts of men who seek revenge. The tale of Harvey Dent is a strong story and gives real sustenance to The Dark Knight.

It has been years since I have seen a movie as good as The Dark Knight. The credit has to go to Jonathan and Christopher Nolan. Their screenplay for the reinvention of Batman is flawless. The action sequences are very organic and have the feeling of real peril. This Batman is not Adam West or Michael Keaton. He is a man with doubts, strength, and humanity. He is a representation of the struggle to be “good” in every facet of our daily lives. In essence, the Dark Knight is us. The Dark Knight is the culmination of all parts working together on screen. It is the perfect recipe for what is the perfect movie.

Hell Yes!

Inventive, imaginative, daring, self-aware, and at times awe-inspiring; are the words that best describe Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Guillermo Del Torro’s vision is something to behold. It is an array of sensations that hit you all at once. At times you will find it hard to wrap your mind around what is happening on screen. This is a new version of the “superhero genre” and in away a throw back film to glorious 1980’s fantasy cinema. Hellboy II offers something that many summer films cannot, heart. The story is quite good and truly resembles that of a bedtime story which is how the movie opens. John Hurt (Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull) tells a young Hellboy of a world long lost. A world where man was not to be trusted and as a contingency a group of elves created a Golden Army that could be controlled to rule the world if things were to get "out of hand.”

Much like Lord of the Rings, a crown divided into three parts was divided and once brought together a ruler could claim this Golden Army and have it do his bidding. This all seems to play out as the backdrop to other story arches which are just as compelling.

Del Torro and Mike Mignola (Creator of Hellboy) seem to push all of the right buttons with this film. The characters are very comfortable in their environment which seems to be produced by extremely powerful hallucinogens or just over active imaginations. It is enjoyable to see a director have fun with a film and create something that is uniquely his own. Del Torro has done this before with Pan’s Labyrinth, but Hellboy is a bit more simplistic than that film. Hellboy (Ron Pearlman) as a character is fascinating in his own right. In this movie he wants to be recognized like a Spiderman or Superman and be loved by the populace. Unfotunatley, the populace finds a red, hornless, devil not endearing. Hellboy is conflicted because he has spent his entire life defending these people from the things that they fear. He has protected them from all of the “bumps” in the darkness of night and they still refuse to embrace him and his band of misfits. It is amazing to actually see the expressions of hurt feelings on the face of an otherwise “unique” character. This is a credit to the filmmaker, who allows his hero to be the harbinger of emotion.

There are few scenes in movies that as you watch them, you know they will become classics for one reason or another. Del Torro’s Troll Market is something to marvel. It is fantastic, witty, scary, beautiful, and truly out of this world. It is Mos Eisley Cantina all over again and a truly fun time. It is homage to our childish imaginations and it is more than welcomed. There are so many creatures, monsters, trolls, and other unexplainable things that the feast for senses will leave you more than full. Hellboy says something rather poignant in the Troll Market. He states “They don’t look at us funny down here…” Implying that his gang of misfits finally “fits” somewhere. Oddly enough, if you ever survived high school, you will feel the same.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army was a real surprise for me. It exceeded my expectations visually and emotionally. Will this movie change the “superhero genre?” No, but it may bring back fantasy films. If you weren't a fan of the first film, I cannot recommend you to see this movie. The humor is on par with the original Hellboy and the characters as they are require you to abandon rationality for the simple fact that they exist. By the end of this movie there is plenty of room for Hellboy 3 and I for one, hope that idea comes to fruition. It is also safe to say that The Hobbit is in more than capable hands and I cannot wait to see the visual world Del Torro will create for those films.

Friendly Fire

In our society it has become apparent that male friendships have suffered from the feminization of the word “friend.” “Friend” has taken on the connotation of weakness with men. Men, as a whole, have fewer friends than women and their friendships are often built out of loyalty more than love. It is an interesting dynamic to gender relationships in our society. In any relationship we look for commonalities and connections to our own lives. Male friendships are usually forged when there is a common cause. This could be sports, movies, or women. As men, we form brotherhoods that cannot be broken. In a lot of ways we value our male friendships more than our relationships with women. You see, there is a primitive bond that exists between men. These friendships are about the things that do not need to be said, but are understood. Loyalty is always a part of the male friendship and “love” is just implicit. There is the old cliché, “You are lucky to have one or two true friends in your life.” This is the one lesson we can take out of lives and it is very true. These are the friends that you count on and they count on you. These are the guys that would drop everything for you in a moments notice if that is what they thought you needed. These are the guys that do not have to get “wordy,” but their hand on your shoulder speaks volumes. These are the guys that look at you in your worst moments and yet, they still like you. They represent the confidence that resides in you and they are fiercely devoted to your cause.

Today’s “Roar” is a tribute to two of my very best male compatriots, Joe and Chris. I am listing movies that remind me of them and why the characters in these films are representation of our friendship.

Toy Story 2- Buzz Lightyear has to rescue Woody from selling himself out to be with his “kind.” Buzz puts together a team of toys to stop Woody from making a mistake and helps him realize that “friendship” is belonging. Neither of my friends would ever let me sell myself out. You’ve got a friend in me…

Star Wars-How many people do you know that would fly across the galaxy to save your ass from impending doom? Han Solo and Luke Skywalker are the truest friends. Luke risks everything, ignoring Yoda’s warning (…You will ruin all for which they fought and suffered), to help Han. He flies into Bespin, untrained and naïve. His purpose, to save his friends from Darth Vader. These guys would risk everything in the name of friendship and when things go wrong, I look to the stars for the Clarkinnium Falcon or an Ungaro-Wing Fighter.

Good Will Hunting-Well, this is the ultimate movie about friends and one of my all time favorite movies. The irony of the characters in this movie is that neither is threatened by the other. There is an unspoken bond on screen and is one of two movies in which I actually appreciate the acting of Ben Affleck.

And why does he hang out with those retarded gorillas, as you called them? Because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a fucking bat to your head, okay? It's called loyalty. This is so true about Chris and Joe. If I were in pain there is no doubt that bats would be in hand and we’d deal with the consequences later.

No, no no no. Fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me, 'cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll still be doin' this shit. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winnin' lottery ticket. You're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in 20 years. Hangin' around here is a fuckin' waste of your time. Only true friends can talk to you this way. Not your wife, not your mother, only your best friends.


The Godfather- Why do you hurt me, Michael? I've always been loyal to you-Tom Hagen
Tom Hagen is the most loyal individual ever to grace a movie screen. The relationship between he and Michael epitomizes the primal nature of the male bond. Tom is the only character able to tell Michael where he truly stands.

Somethin' Smells

What makes a bad movie? The answer is easy, pretentiousness. Movies that claim to be “life changing” or are strung together to create “Oscar Buzz,” beware. These are the movies you must proceed ahead with caution before viewing. Now, there are bad movies on the shelves of every Blockbuster or “Ma and Pa” video store with titles like “They Saved Hitler’s Brain,” and if you rent these titles, you know exactly what you are getting. For the sake of this “Roar,” I’m limiting it to movies that seemingly had some promise, but failed miserably. It would be too easy to list “Cabin Boy” or “Anaconda” on this scale. It is also important to note that movies like Rocky 5 and Caddyshack 2 were left of off the list because they do not offer the smug nature of some films although they are quite bad. Do you remember Oscar winner “Dances with Wolves?” Go back and watch it and I think you’ll understand the pretentious nature of that film and just how bad it truly is while questioning the Academy’s decision to award it Best Picture. This movie is deemed “good” out of guilt because its plot deals with the destruction of Native Americans. This list was challenge, but the task is complete. Here are my five worst films in cinematic history…

5) Pay it Forward-Pretentious beyond all belief. If I do a kind act and someone else follows my lead the world will be better place. Malarkey! Here’s a kind act, burn every copy of this movie.

4) The Majestic-Jim Carrey crying for an Oscar nomination. Let’s see, if we put Martin Landau and Jim Carrey in the same movie it will be good, right? WRONG! Frank Darabount wrote this movie after Shawshank Redemption and I guess we all expected to be “good.” Nothing Majestic about it!

3) Battlefield Earth-L. Ron Hubbard, John Travolta and other’s in this epically bad movie about god knows what. I wanted to take my brain out of my skull and wash it after seeing this movie.

2) Dangerous Minds-That’s right Michelle Pfieffer as a bad ass teacher in a primarily African American high school. Hollywood, please show us the other side of the tracks. I am a Caucasian from suburbia and need to realize how diverse the world really is and need to identify with the other half. Hollywood, manipulate my sensibilities into crying. How do we teach these Keeeeedze? (far better movie) This is as pretentious as it gets.

1) Wild Hogs-I remember watching Meet the Parents and thinking, “Wow, this could have been awful, but it is quite good because there is star power carrying the script.” I thought to my dismay that “Wild Hogs” may be similar. Travolta, Allen, Macy, Liotta Lawrence, Tomei, how could this movie fail? “Failure” doesn’t even begin to describe the steaming crapfest that is Wild Hogs. By the end of this film, I was praying to God that in some fashion, he would return the wasted hour and forty-five minutes of my life in some capacity. I fault myself for sitting through this tragic cinematic piece of garbage. I’d rather have been eaten by Wild Hogs than watch this movie. Oh yeah, Peter Fonda shows up and gives an Easy Rider philosophy on “riding.” I hate, Hate, HATE this movie.

Hancock Wasted?

It is tough to ignore the obvious jokes that would go with writing review about Hancock. I could say that this movie "Sucked Hancock" or it was just too much "Hancock for Me to Handle." The play on words are limitless unlike this movie. Hancock is bound by its own tepid screen writing and for some reason limits itself to being an okay film. Director Peter Berg has an opportunity here to take a character that is so interesting and create a new kind of superhero epic. Instead, we get a movie that relies soley on the star power of Will Smith. Smith plays the drunken, foul mouthed, Hancock with stlyle and for the first half of this movie I was enthralled and hoping that the script would continue in this direction. Hancock does not like the people that he saves and they do not return much love for him either. Hancock causes the city of Los Angeles millions of dollars in damage everytime he puts forth any heroic effort. He is bogged down in his own self-pity until he saves the life of Ray Embery played by Jason Bateman. Embery is an idealists with a Public Relations background and proposes to change Hancocks image. Embery's wife, Mary, played by Charlize Theron, is less than taken with Hancock. This creates what may be an intersting dynamic to the film, but for some reason the script gets far away from this thought and folds onto itself. We do get an explanation of who Hancock is, but in so many ways it is flimsy. It is all tied into ancient mythology and the path of a true hero. This is a big mistake because Hancock is the antithesis of a true hero and that is what could have made this movie a winner. Its inability to seperate itself from just another superhero movie was detremantal to the second half of the film.

There are things to like about Hancock. The character curses at children and drinks whiskey by the bottle. He is self-loathing and hates the fact that people have expectations for him. He could easily abuse his power and doesn't because in some way is looking for acceptance. Hancock is different and this movie could have been too. It is hard to write a glowing review of this movie even though all the elements are in place for something totally refreshing. The biggest problem with Hancock is there isn't one moment in the movie where you are in awe of anything that happens on screen. There are no "goosebump" moments. By the end, you might wish you had a bottle of whiskey to wipe away the memory of this subtle summer fare.

Apology Not Accepted

It all began years ago in a childhood far far away. A young boy with an active imagination attached himself to a movie. The premise seemed to be off the wall. The movie featured a seemingly gay robot accompanied by a mobile trashcan that spoke beeps and blurps. It featured a “walking carpet” and a whiney moisture farmer. The craziest thing about this film was the asthmatic villain who ruled with an iron fist. The movie was Star Wars or as they call it now, Star Wars: A New Hope. It set the bar for blockbuster entertainment and spawned a merchandising empire. George Lucas’s vision ignited the imaginations of many children and gave hope that movies could still be fun. It was a creation that would lead to creative filmmaking and has inspired generations of filmmakers. As a kid all those years ago, I thought that Star Wars and its sequels could not have been more perfect. The Empire Strikes Back may be the pillar of a cinematic masterpiece. There is not a moment wasted on screen. I use to hang upside down on my bed and try to use the force to get my toy lightsaber just like Luke. It never worked, but I am still trying. You see Star Wars for me is my barometer for movies. I expect more out of Hollywood because of its achievements and world renowned praise. These are the very movies that made me love film. But I digress, I cannot spend another minute of my life apologizing for the abomination called The Prequel Trilogy.
Let’s start off with Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I bought into this travesty hook, line, and sinker. I remember watching the teaser trailer in November of 1998 and nearly crying because it looked so promising. It seemed as if Lucas and company had an idea of what they were doing. Besides the day I got married, the day I bought tickets for The Phantom Menace was the happiest moment of my life. I could not believe that another Star Wars movie was going to splash down and rule an entire summer. I bought toys, magazines, and product tie-ins from Pizza Hut. I was energized again and knew that greatness had once again arrived in Hollywood. It was all too perfect and the time machine in my heart harkened back to the days of playing with my Millenium Falcon and freeing Han Solo from play-dough as if he were encased in carbonite. Damn, this was going to be good. I brought my girlfriend, my sisters, and anyone else who wanted to share in this glorious occasion with me to the theater. The local news had reporters stationed inside the theater interviewing people before and after the movie. Kids and adults were dressed in costumes swinging lightsabers and making buzzing sounds. This was the impact of cinema in its finest hour. The opening sequence to any Star Wars movie is always exciting. The Lucasfilm logo hits the screen and a silence falls over the crowd without fail. Then it happened, The Phantom Menace actually played as a movie and it was stunningly embarrassing. Jar Jar Binks is credited with the ruination of the franchise, but it is not his fault. Yes, Jar Jar is annoying, but not nearly as irritating has Jake Lloyd as young Anakin Skywalker. George Lucas has trouble directing adult actors so, what was he thinking starting off the “new trilogy” with an eight-year-old Sith to be? I am still baffled. The best casting decision in this movie was Samuel Jackson as Mace Windu. His performance was riveting as he drops knowledge on young Anakin in a Jedi Council meeting. His two lines in the film should be shown in every acting class (sarcasm). These small quibbles are not the worst aspect of the movie. The worst was the decision to have a Star Wars movie based off of a Galactic Trade dispute. I cannot believe for second that Lucas thought this would be an interesting idea. He has said repeatedly that the Star Wars Universe was created for children therefore adults would be critical of the new films. Well, when is the last time a group of children busted out their action figures to play Galactic Trade Dispute? To borrow a line from Luke Skywalker, “NEVER!” I have to give credit to the last 45 minutes of the movie because it was rather exciting. I enjoyed watching the tattooed Darth Maul fight two Jedi, but for all of his badness, his death was rather weak. He was taken out by a young Obi-Wan and cut in half. Frankly, I never got the Darth Maul character. He was just a pit-bull trained to kill. The moment that seals the deal in this movie is Anakin “accidentally” blowing up a Trade Federation ship to save the day on Naboo. That scene was and still is just plain stupid. Yippie! Isn’t that what we all scream when we save the galaxy? After seeing this movie seven times in the theater, I still apologized for all of its awfulness. The truth is that The Phantom Menace is as far from the Star Wars Universe as one could possibly get. Oh by the way, the announcers of the pod race scene…
Now to the sweat stained Attack of the Clones. Holy crap did this movie just plain suck the life out me in parts. Anakin Skywalker was played by Hayden Christensen and boy did he “wow” me with his captivating charisma. Again, Lucas puts the screws to his loyalists. He is quoted as saying that Clones is a love story. That’s right, A LOVE STORY. That is exactly what we want out of Star Wars movie. It was surely a good idea to write the first third as a Trade Dispute, but what an epiphany it must have been to make a Star Wars movie a “love story.” Hey guys, let’s gather our action figures and play “love story.” Seriously, the “love scenes” in this movie are unforgivable by any standards. Here is the actual script:

INTERIOR: NABOO LAKE RETREAT, LODGE, FIREPLACE ALCOVE -TWILIGHT
A fire blazes in the open hearth. PADMÉ and ANAKIN aresitting in front of it, gazing into the flames. She looksup as ANAKIN leans in to kiss her.
PADMÉ: Anakin, no.
ANAKIN: From the moment I met you, all those years ago, aday hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. And nowthat I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get toyou, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with youmakes my stomach turn over - my mouth goes dry. I feeldizzy. I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss you shouldnever have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kisswill not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormentingme. What can I do? I will do anything you ask...

This was really carried out on screen. The greatest Jedi of all time actually says this stuff. I am “haunted” by the script. All I could do is ask myself, “What the hell is going on?” Anakin Skywalker is behaving like a total dweeb. His MySpace page must be pathetic. Who would have thought Darth “Freakin” Vader to be completely EMO? I’m sure they are concerned about him at the Jedi Temple. This doesn’t say much for the mentoring job of Obi-Wan Kenobi. I love the fact that the all knowing Jedi cannot or fail to acknowledge the conflicted feelings of the “chosen one.” This does not top the introduction of Jango Fett. Jango is brought into the film to introduce fan favorite, Boba Fett. I never really understood the infatuation with Boba Fett, after all, he was just a bounty hunter. He first appeared during the Star Wars Holiday Special and still has a cult following. In my opinion, his story is the least interesting. The problems with “Clones” seem dissipate when we arrive at the Battle Arena where Anakin and Padme are sentenced to death by three creatures, but again it proves to be ridiculous. Mace Windu shows up with his glowing purple lightsaber and says, “This party is over.” Can you feel the chills? It was astonishingly terrible to see so many Jedi getting “punked” so easily. These are Jedi Knights. These are the heroic icons of youth. These are the guys we would put up against any enemy and they would succeed. In “Clones,” they are destroyed by Federation Droids. Attack of the Clones does have one redeeming quality and that it the Jedi prowess of Yoda. Yoda ignites his lightsaber and I felt a slight tickle in my special area. It saved this movie from totally being horrendous. “Clones” gets an “A” for effort and a D- for execution. Execution is too appropriate for this movie.
Revenge of the Sith is the third installment of the prequel trilogy and the most tragic for various reasons. Sith was going to be the movie that brought redemption back to the Star Wars Universe. All of the things that were discussed in our youth would come to fruition. We were finally going to see Anakin Skywalker fight Obi-Wan Kenobi in what should have been the greatest lightsaber battle of all-time. What we get is something less. It amazes me that the Jedi were so easily fooled by Emperor Palpatine. They are almost deserving of their plight. Lucas said, “This is the Titanic of the series.” One more time, “Let’s get our action figures and play Titanic.” Really George? What is most heartbreaking about Sith is that it has the workings of a great film. All of the elements are there and once again it is fumbled and bobbled. There is homage to the Godfather in this film, which I liked and wish were carried out more effectively. In The Godfather, the five families are “taken care of” at the end of the movie. In Sith, the Jedi are “taken care of” on various worlds, but once again the build up doesn’t correlate well with the scenes. I was literally crawling in my seat when the Jedi are murdered on the “neon” planet. The CGI was so bad that I felt as if I were on Mr. Toads Wild Ride at Disney World. It looked cheap and made me feel the same. We all wanted to see Revenge of the Sith to see the transformation of Anakin into Vader. I honestly cannot stand the way this was portrayed on screen. Anakin is cut off at the legs and then burns before being rescued by Palpatine. Let me put this in perspective, Anakin Skywalker has legendary lightsaber skills and has saved the galaxy numerous times from doom, yet, isn’t savvy enough not to flip into the blue blade of Obi-Wan. This is just plain awful. However, I did enjoy the Frankenstein style in which Anakin becomes Darth Vader, but all is ruined when James Earl Jones’s voice utters the word “NOOOOOO!” I understand he is upset about the possibility of killing his wife in a fit of rage, but once you put on that black suit you are not entitled to whine. Mr. Skywalker must shed is quasi-depressive state and become a hateful, spiteful Sith Lord. I almost wish that Lucas had written the transformation of Anakin earlier in the trilogy. It would have been fascinating to see him hunt and murder Jedi without remorse. If you rearrange the letters in Sith you just may have the true meaning of the Prequel Trilogy.
I love the Star Wars Universe. It is an escapist fantasy for me and always has been. It is the reminder of all that was good aboutgrowing up a child of the 70’s and 80’s. It has taught me valuable lessons about good and evil and love and friendship. Some over step their boundries and say that Lucas “raped” their childhood. I cannot agree with this, but I can say that Star Wars is sacred ground. It is not to be taken lightly. I just wanted to relive a fraction of my childhood. I didn’t expect these movies to better that the Original Trilogy, but I did expect them to be just as good.

Dad, Me, and Movies

Fifteen months ago I lost my father in what was a life changing, yet, life affirming event in my life. After months and months of incredible sadness, I began to recognize all of the little moments that we had spent together. I began to realize that moments that were once insignificant had now become important. These instances range from getting “merit” badges as a Cub Scout to having a catch. If I have one regret, it is that I never told him how those “insignificant moments” impacted me. My father wasn’t big into movies like I am, but the movies he did see, he always liked. He loved comedies. There is something about watching a comedy with your dad and listening to him laugh. If he laughs you know you will too. I recall watching Old School with my old man the night before my wedding. His belly laugh had me rolling and tears were streaming down my face much the way they are now as I write this. We saw some great classics together too. I look fondly on taking him to see Ghostbusters on his birthday. I watched him in the theater that day and do not think he stopped smiling the entire film. Slimer made me cackle, but I am sure Bill Murray’s lines about “dickless” government workers and his girlfriend sleeping “four feet above the covers” were the reasons for his amusement. My dad and I could always bond over a great comedy so today, I honor him and I am reminded of how much I miss his goofy smile. Here are his top five favorites:

5) Blazing Saddles-He always quoted this flick “Badges…we don’t need no stinkin’ badges.”

4) Meet the Parents-We saw this as an entire family and it was my pop’s introduction to Ben Stiller.

3) Men In Black-Yes, Men In Black! My dad LOVED this movie and I still can’t figure out what his obsession was with this film. I liked it, but he loved it.

2) Ghostbusters-Well it is a classic and it made making smores with the old man enjoyable. Where are those Stay Puffed Marshmellows?

1)Young Frankenstein-A comedy classic. Mel had a way with my dad and this was the first movie he ever bought on VHS.

Hulk Smash!

This movie’s main character, The Hulk, has something that lives deep inside of him. It is something primitive, raw, and needs to be examined without limitations. It is the very essence of man. It is the desire to let raw emotion take our minds and bodies to perform either heroic or horrible acts. The Hulk is man stripped down to his bare bones. He represents thousands of years of repression. He is nature at its purest. When I was leaving the theater after seeing The Incredible Hulk I felt more than satisfied because I had the opportunity to examine something that resides deep inside of me. Like the Hulk, I was trying to repress ancient feelings of being a kid just enjoying a superhero movie. You see, superhero movies have more adult qualities to them then ever before. The storylines are not as basic and as movie-goers we are all benefiting. As I watched The Incredible Hulk something resonated with me. It wasn’t the storyline or the acting. It wasn’t the dilemma of Bruce Banner trying to do the right thing. It was a giggle inside my belly of sheer childhood delight. It was an eight year-old boy who I have lost touch with. It was me. There is a scene early on in the film where The Hulk tosses a forklift like a “softball” and I felt as if someone had transported me back in time. I suddenly remembered Bill Bixby walking solemnly down a lonely road with a bag over his shoulder as the “sad” Hulk music played in the background. I remembered cutting my Felix the Cat pajamas with scissors and showing my mother that I had clothes like the Hulk. I remembered her Hulk like rage afterwards too. It has been a very long time since I have sat in a theater and just enjoyed a film as much as enjoyed The Incredible Hulk.
There is a pureness to this movie that many may not understand. Marvel’s Incredible Hulk isn’t a very “deep” character in comparison to the other superhero franchises. He lacks the suaveness of Tony Stark and isn’t as conflicted as Peter Parker. Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) gets angry and when he gets angry, things get smashed. I enjoyed the “smashing” immensely. The Hulk swings from helicopters and takes on battalions of trained Army soldiers. He is tested and pushed to the brink. This movie touches on something very prehistoric that exist in all of us, our desire to listen to rage.
It is important to remember that movies should entertain us and The Incredible Hulk does this for a vast majority of its two hour running time. Edward Norton is more than serviceable as Dr. Bruce Banner and Liv Tyler is very good as Betty Ross. There is enough in this movie to please fans of the TV show and fan boys who have every copy of the comics. You may not like the Hulk when he is angry, but I sure did.

Iron is the Man

Iron Man is one a movie that I respect the heck out of because a studio has finally realized to leave comic book characters in the hands of capable and inspired directors. This is the case here with Jon Favreau. He is a bona fide Iron Man comic book reader. This no different than Sam Raimi's love of Spider-Man. These are two franchises that will continue to bloom and entertain because there is great care. We have all seen the destruction of what happens when a studio goes for a quick cash grab like X-Men: The Last Stand and the abysmal Batman and Robin. Iron Man has the chance to be a great story and it is off to a terrific start in one of the better origin stories.

Tony Stark is a womanizing alcoholic who happens to be a brilliant weapons designer. He is also the worlds largest jerk and needs to be kidnapped by terrorists to be given a dose of reality. That is why Robert Downey Jr. is perfect for the role. His own demons clearly come out in the character of Stark and his road to redemption is similar.

Pepper Potts is played by Gwenyth Paltrow and she is perfect has is Tony's "Money Penny." The "love story" isn't over the top and truly understated as it should be. This role is a departure for Paltrow and makes her likable among the "fan boys" who love this stuff. I loved their relationship because she plays Tony's babysitter, yet she knows his dark secrets and accepts his faults.

There are so many things to appreciate in Iron Man. It was thoroughly enjoyable to see Tony Stark creating the Mark 1 in Afghanistan and then using it to escape. During this scene we learn that Stark, although brilliant, is naive and not as smart as we had previously given him credit for being. His weapons are being sold to the enemy and the entire time he thought he was protecting his country. His true enemy is capitalism and he must decide on what is important upon is return to the United States. Does he protect those who need protecting or does he turn away and cash check after check? I also like that Iron Man is who he his. Unlike Spiderman or Peter Parker, Tony Stark isn't afraid to let the world know. He doest allow the villians to put a bulls eye on his chest. He calls himself out and lets the world know his true identity.

It is clear from the opening scenes of the movie who is true enemies are and although it is supposed to come as a big reveal at the end we are not that surprised. This does not detract from the movie, but the "secret" could have been more guarded.

Now for the suit. The birth Iron Man was so utterly fascinating that I could have watched an entire movie about how Tony Stark perfected its awesomeness. Yes, I said awesomeness. The Iron Man suit is so freakin' cool that it gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. There are so many opportunities for Stark to use the suit and he does so in a bad-ass way time after time.

Frankl, I cannot wait to see where Iron Man is going to go. I hope Marvel doesn't ruin the franchise by trying to stuff too much alfalfa into this pita. The idea of cross-over films is an interesting idea, but be warned, there is more to the Tony Stark story that needs to be told uninterrupted.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Dull?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is built upon expectations. It is nineteen years of wanting and waiting. It is supposed to be the return of an iconic adventurer. I had to ask myself, do we need another Indiana Jones movie? The answer is “yes” we certainly need another Indiana Jones, just not this one. Crystal Skull gets so much right and at the same time it gets so much wrong. Our hero Indiana is the same as he was years ago just a little grayer and far more intelligent than I remember. This Indy figures out riddles and puzzles with such simplicity that it made me uncomfortable. The Henry Jones Jr. I remember stumbled onto things with good guesses and savvy survival skills. Yes, he was smart too just not to the point that he didn’t have to work for it. The problem with Spielberg and Lucas’s latest effort is that script is not basic enough. It is spread thin in all directions and its focus is never fully realized.
The biggest question mark going into this movie was Harrison Ford. He has suffered a string of awful films and he needed Indiana more than the audience. He delivers. There is only a “look” Ford can give as Indy and it is clear that he is more than just a hat and whip. It was refreshing to see Ford not “mail it in” for another pay-day. He was just as charming as he has always been and the main reason to see this film. So what’s wrong with this film?
Let’s start off with Cate Blanchett as Agent Spalko. Spalko is the fair haired girl of Josef Stalin during the Cold War. Stalin made it no secret that he was interested in finding ways of perfecting psychic warfare. He was also hell bent on creating ape men that would replace Red Army soldiers and bring about the end of democracy in the West. This was a reminder of the original Raiders of the Lost Ark where Adolf Hitler’s obsession with the occult was explored, but unlike Raiders, Crystal Skull complicates the matter. It isn’t about the evils of communism spreading into the west by the means of an all powerful crystal skull. You see, the Ark was just a device that was to be used for world domination. Blanchett does a fine job of playing a villain, but in my estimation she isn’t mean enough and never puts Indiana Jones in any real peril. He is never beaten or truly tortured and his escapes are too simple considering the painstakingly effort the Russians take to apprehend our hero.
Karen Allen’s return as Marion Ravenwood was the one thing I was looking forward to seeing in Crystal Skull. Marion has always been the women that would never back down to Indiana and their relationship was electric in Raiders of the Lost Ark. She is THE WOMAN for Indiana. She challenges his sensibilities and yet he loves her more than any other woman. So I ask the “Beards,” Why is she so smitten with him in her return to the series? She is like a wide-eyed school girl who is looking for Indiana to give her his varsity letter jacket. They made her a woman of the fifties and the truth is Marion as always been a head of her time. Although there is a certain nostalgic sweetness to their very first lines together in the film, she was almost submissive. I was disappointed and delighted at the same time to see Allen reprise her role. Again, Lucas has made things bitter-sweet.
There are some things that are dead on in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The set pieces are amazing and the opening sequence is something to behold. It was evident that Lucas was returning to his days of American Graffiti. Racing cars in the fifties is just cool and I was hooked by the first half of this film. I was also pleasantly surprised by Shia LeBeouf’s Mutt Williams. He was the perfect sidekick for Indiana and did exactly what he was supposed to do in the movie. The motorcycle escape had me believing this was going to be the Indy film we had all dreamed about. Unfortunately, this movie becomes unraveled in the second half and loses its wit rather quickly. Again, they failed to keep it simple and the Crystal skull turns into implausible scene after implausible scene before deflating.
It is important to remember that I cannot spoil this film for those who have yet to see it. As a fan of Spielberg and Lucas, I could write pages about this movie. It is hard for me to only like half a movie, but this is the case here with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The first act is very solid and the second doesn’t come to a crescendo. I am not disappointed by the movie, but I am concerned that this film cannot stand on its own. Crystal Skull is a nice piece of nostalgia just not a great movie.

Whaddya Lookin' At?

There are great fight scenes then there are GREAT fight scenes in movies. I mean the kind of fights that tickle your undercarriage kind of good. I love stupid and pointless action. It is like eating a Ding-Dong, unsatisfying, but good. Like Ding-Dongs, bad fight scenes can cause you to gag. The ultimate fights are the ones with great tension and the build up is so freaking unbearable that you want to be in the movie to settle the score yourself. The beauty of a downy-brook is that it doesn’t have to be bloody or torrid with non-sensible action, it needs to be wrapped tightly in emotion. It has to tap into a primitive yearning of wanting revenge or the desire to prevent harm being inflicted by an adversary. The “fight” in the movies is thing that makes us “stay” in our seats and await the inevitable outcome. Great fights are the very things that call for repeat viewings and they are the very reason such “terrific acting talents” such as Van Damme and Steven Segal had successful careers (I can’t believe I just wrote that). Here are my top five fight scenes:

5) DANIEL LARUSSO vs. JOHNNY LAWRENCE (THE KARATE KID)
Get him a body bag, yeah! This fight was so awesome when I was a kid. I watched this movie repeatedly just to get the fight scene at the end. Johnny Lawrence was such a jerk to poor Daniel. He rode a scary dirt bike and smoked hippie lettuce in the bathroom and jacked Daniel-son up more than once. The famous crane whooped ass and you know you all tried it. Hey, when you’re the best around…

4) FRANK DUX vs. CHONG LI (BLOODSPORT) Chong-Li! Chong Li! Jean Claude is blind and still fights off Chong Li in this cinematic masterpiece. Van Damme was totally bad-ass in Bloodsport.

3) TYLER DURDEN vs. Himself (FIGHT CLUB) Scary, poignant, dark…FUNNY! Fight Club is the movie that makes you believe you like being hit. Who better to beat you up than you? What a crazy metaphor for the learned weaknesses of men. Thanks Mom!

2) LUKE SKYWALKER vs. DARTH VADER (STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK) Holy Crap this was the mother of all fights. Vader lures Luke into the carbon freezing chamber and when Luke arrives Vader’s sword glows ominously. The fight is furious and ends with a severed hand and whiney hero hanging from a weather vane.
1)

1)ROCKY BALBOA vs. APOLLO CREED (ROCKY) Rocky knows he can’t win and says so, but we stand and cheer at our hero losing. The fight itself is tense with drama and for most us we hate Creed because he represents a brand name. Apollo is “Microsoft” and Rocky reminds him of his roots. I still get teary at the climax of this one. The fight is violent and furious and involves a razor blade. ROCKY! ROCKY!

The Return Roar

Rumors of my disappearance have been greatly exaggerated. I did not think about the considerable amount of time it takes to keep up with a blog and to keep it fresh. The truth be told, I used this blog as therapy this past summer. I still love movies and have many things to write about or to share. I just want my TWO supporters to know that I acknowledge letting you down the past few months and will try harder to keep this blog new. It kept me contact with a few of you and I sincerely miss that.

There are several movies I have watched since my last post in October and I will give you a very brief rundown and few random and insignificant thoughts…

I Am Legend: Good with potential to be great. Will Smith is on the precipice of a truly breakthrough role it just isn’t this movie. The Fresh Prince needs to opt for a good script rather than a big pay day. There was too much emphasis on action in the last half-hour and the human side of things was lost. Combine this movie with Children of Men and I think a terrific movie may germinate.

Juno: Thoughtful and unpretentious. It might be the best screenplay written in many years. It showed the beauty of pregnancy as well as the immaturity of teens in similar situations. JK Simmons was priceless as Juno’s father. This was quirky, but honest.

American Gangster: Overblown crime drama. Too much in the same vein as Scarface, not enough of the two heavyweights dueling it out.

Charlie Wilson’s War: This movie was glossy in its portrayal of the Afghan/ Russian war, but it was damn entertaining. It was well worth the admission to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman. This is proof that good scripts can be great given great talent to carry out their purpose.

Up and coming: Horton Hears a Who