Just In Case You Missed It: Hard Candy (2005)

Hard Candy is psychological thriller that follows a different set of rules. It is character study of the things we want to do and don’t because of the social and legal ramifications. Pedophilia is a very scary place to take a trip to in any type of art. It is the embodiment of a sickness. Pedophiles are people we want to take off of the street by any means necessary. When we watch a newscast and hear a story of a child predator in our community it ignites a rage in most of us. We talk about the harm we would like to inflict on the perpetrator, but do not have the resources or the courage to follow through. Ellen Page (Juno) plays 14 year-old Haley Stark, an intelligent, well-spoken child who doesn’t fit the typical victim profile She is self-confident and very self-aware. Patrick Wilson (Watchmen) plays Jeff Kohlver a 32 year-old photographer. He is good looking, educated, and like Hayley, does not fit the profile of a child predator. This movie is really about two characters, one doing the expected and the other doing the unexpected. Kohlver lures young Haley to his apartment and before you know it there is some awkward sexual tension between the two. Kohlver cannot see past his dark desires to see the plan that Hayley has plotted for him. Haley actually is on a revenge mission to avenge the rape and death of another young girl whom she suspects was murdered by Kohlver. After sharing a few screwdrivers together, Kohlver finds himself to be drugged and soon passes out only to awake tied to a chair. This is the beginning of two great performances and Page is actually better in this role pre-Juno. Hayley maps out her plan for Kohlver and divulges how she entrapped him. The movie succeeds here because she gives the audience an explanation for her motives. Unlike most thrillers, it isn’t as simple as it seems. What we get as an audience is some “eye covering” moments involving torture in the form psychological warfare and castration. It is not done without cause and we soon start to feel for Hayley. She is just fourteen and what horror did this man inflict upon her friend to drive her to these extreme measures? The conversations in this film are real and heartfelt. Some will say Hayley is a character built out of man hate. I say she is hero who stands up for all the victims of sex-abuse who cannot stand-up for themselves. Wilson’s Kohlver is extremely manipulative and he plays his role perfectly. It may be difficult for some, but taking a piece of Hard Candy is well worth it.

Villians!

True on –screen villains are characters that we despise and cannot wait to see them meet their final doom. There has to be a true hatred for a villain to exist. He or she is the character that gives you actual feelings of anger as you watch them plot and plan the demise of a hero or protagonist. A villain is a portrait into the darkest recesses of the human psyche. They are representative of everything ugly about life. Their personalities can be best described as unexplained. A true villain does not have a clear past. It is the one thing they hide so that vulnerability cannot be found. His or her intentions must be muddled at best. They are lost demons roaming freely and written into scripts to further an understanding of our main characters. They should not be caricatures or liked, and most importantly they should not garner any sympathy from the audience.

Today’s Roar will focus on my list of top the top five movie villains I despise. Darth Vader does not count even though he is evil, his intentions are not always to hurt or cause pain and he can choke people by putting his index finger to his thumb and that is just cool. Freddy Krueger does not count because in a sick way I kind of pull for him just so I can hear stupid one-liners. The villains for this list must be unlikable.

5) Principal Vernon (The Breakfast Club)-What a douche! I’m a swell guy he says. I say I hate you from the bottom of my soul.

4) Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest)-Louise Fletcher was scary as hell in this role. There was nothing likable about Nurse Ratched. Poor Chief. I’m sad just thinking about this movie. What a colossal bitch!

3) Captain Vidal (Pan’s Labyrinth)-Seriously scary and mean. Whiskey pouring through a hole in his cheek still haunts me. He is the vacuum that sucked the imagination out of our hero. I detested him from the first scene.

2)King Edward Longshanks (Braveheart)-Homophobe! He was not a nice character. I wanted to put on a kilt and cut him up by the end of this one. It was great scene when it was whispered into his ear that his heir would have the bloodline of William Wallace. FREEDOM!

1)Ivan Drago (Rocky IV)-Yeah, you’ll dispute this, but remember how much we all hated the Russians in the 80’s. We were taught to loathe anything Moscow. He was so clever with his words too, If he dies, he dies. Good one Drago. Here are some blue jeans and a loaf of bread, go have fun at the Kremlin. I’m going to run up a mountain and shout your name.

Totally Tubular

The 80’s were a decade of “unique clothing” styles, synthesized music, and the golden age of video games. Being a child of the 80’s meant that your floor was littered with Transformers, GI Joe’s, and the occasional Ewok. Pac-Man Fever was running rampant and Strawberry Shortcake was spreading kindness. Punky Brewster ruled the air waves along with ALF from Melmak. Madonna was like a virgin, but Michael Jackson claimed the kid was not his son. MTV actually had music videos and we looked forward to seeing cutie Martha Quinn countdown the videos of the day. This was the time when Saturday morning cartoons actually meant something. Kids would sit with a bowl of cereal and watch T.V. until 10am before going to practice or lessons. This was the 80’s and in its own subtle way it was special.
Hollywood sees the 80’s a chance to reinvent the decade. Knight Rider will once again play this fall on NBC. Transformers was a huge theatrical success. GI Joe is on its way to theaters and Atari games can now be played via a joystick that connects directly to the television. Personally, I love(d) the shows and movies of the 1980’s. So, what will the time machine of Hollywood bring back to us?

Today’s Roar is dedicated to the 1980’s and the rumblings of bringing back some classics. I do not necessarily agree with reinventing the wheel, but I did enjoy certain things about the decade.
Things that were cool long ago…

5) V Mini-Series-The geniuses in Hollywood have a script in place to make a big budget movie. The series was one of my favorites and still ranks as one of the highest rated shows of all time.

Why I loved it?-It was cool as a kid to see Lizards harvesting humans, but as I got older, it was easy to see the allegory to Nazi Germany.

4) The Goonies-This was the adventure of all adventures. It involved riding bikes and searching for treasure. There is a script that is FINALLY in place to go ahead with a sequel or a reimaging. Some things are meant to be left untouched.

Why I loved it?-Imagination, Imagination, Imagination. I totally immersed myself into the role of the kids following the legend of Chester Copperpot. I still ride my bike and look for lost ships.

3)GI Joe-Let’s take GI Joe and put the movie into the hands of Mummy director, Stephen Sommers. This is a bad idea. I think the studio execs forgot that knowing is half the battle.

Why I loved it?-Swivel Grip, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the anatomically advantaged Baroness. The cartoon was the same episode or storyline everyday, but I watched religously at 4pm. It was very cool to get my “by mail” Sgt. Slaughter.

2)Fantasy Movies-Legend, Labyrinth, and the Dark Crystal. There is a supposed sequel to the Dark Crystal and it seems to have been in production forever. Genddy Tartakovsky will direct, so hope remains for its 2009 release.

Why I loved it? Tim Curry as the Lord of Darkness still scares the crap out of me. The world of The Dark Crystal seemed existent back then. Henson’s world still has an impact and Gefflings might be real.

1)Classic Cinema-The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, ET, Back to the Future, The Terminator and on and on…

Why I loved it? These movies are classics. They have tried to duplicate the success of each of these films in some way or another over the years. Do remember Darth Vader’s admission to Luke, the FIRST time Elliot’s bike levitates with ET in his basket, Han thawing from carbonite, and Arnold saying, “I’ll be Back” before ramming a truck through the front door of the police station?

Times to Remember

Bruce Springsteen said it best, “Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of, well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister but boring stories of glory days.” This is so true when it comes to getting older and realizing that your best days are probably behind you. We mistakenly try to live vicariously through our children instead of just letting our children live. We remember a time when we were kids rooting and cheering men playing a game on television. Now, we are men cheering and jeering “kids” playing the same game. Oh, how times have changed. Yet, when it comes to the “glory days” I feel that I am better off now. I have, like many of you, realized that I am better equipped to deal with the rigors of life. However, I still look back fondly of the days when I could actually throw a baseball and not have the need to pop four Aleve after “stretching” out my arm. Gone are those days when I could play anything for 8 or 9 hours straight. Gone are the days of chasing pretty girls or in my case, any girl that would have me. I now refer to these days as the best days of my life, but my memory still holds on to the “glory days.”

Today’s Roar features movies of those whose fire has been extinguished by time.

5) The Best of Times-Kurt Russell returns to his “glory days” as a high school quarterback to avenge the heartbreaking loss of a cross town rival. Robin Williams manipulates him into one last shot at glory. It is still hard to watch because Williams playing a wide receiver is not plausible, but he is from ORK…

4) Rocky Balboa-The more times I watch this movie the better it becomes. Rocky has been put out to pasture and his sidekick Pauly is right beside him. Rocky has to go out on his on terms. I love the tone of this movie because ageism does exist and when have you finally earned the right to do the things you love?

3) American Beauty-This movie epitomizes mid-life crisis. Kevin Spacey is driven to look, feel, and act young. He needs to recreate a time in his life when things were simple and everything felt new. And just when you finally have your epiphany….blam!

2) The Hustler-Eddie Felson is the hot new pool player trying to learn and knock off Minnesota Fats. This is a classic not to be outdone by the remake The Color of Money. Never confuse talent for experience. Gleason and Newman star and it is reminder of what great actor Jackie Gleason truly was.

1) Kingpin-Roy Munson, con-man, alcoholic, and bowler. His days of bowling are long gone and it doesn’t help that he has but one hand…creepy! I am above the law!