Old School Review: Let MeLook on You with My Own Eyes

The line outside the Towne Four movie theater was about a half-mile. I was an 8 year old boy standing with ticket in hand as the usher counted us and moved us forward. As far as I knew this would be the last Star Wars movie I would see. My young mind was still trying to grasp Darth Vader being Luke's father and the fact the Han Solo was now in Carbonite form. I remember holding five-dollars for popcorn and soda and hoping to see the Galactic Empire crumble as my childhood hero, Luke Skywalker, finally realized his destiny. I knew that all would be well with Return of the Jedi because I looked at some photos in Time Magazine and saw these cute, teddy bear characters standing in a forest. I was perplexed to find a photo of Leia and Luke dressed in camouflage gear. What could this mean? Had they gone G.I Joe? Were these "bears" an enemy of the Rebellion or victims of the iron fisted rule of the Empire? So many questions to be answered. I sat in the theater next to my childhood buddy and his father purchased a bucket of popcorn for us to share. Even though I was a heavyset kid, I could care less about the popcorn. I needed answers and they had better come in bunches. The 20th Century Fox logo appeared and I disappeared into a galaxy far, far, away...

Return of the Jedi is a culmination of all the things we love about Star Wars. For an 8 year-old boy this movie was damn near flawless. Let's examine it's awesome power.

First: The first scene in Jedi is terrifying. Darth Vader states that the Emperor is "not as forgiving as I am." Holy crap! Not as forgiving as you? You cut your own son's hand off! What happens if refused to clean his room or take out the garbage? Vader was scary and my heart palpitated at the very thought of this Emperor guy.

Second: Jabba's Palace is the greatest 30 minutes of cinema I've ever seen. I love the eclectic decoration, the seedy inhabitants, Jabba in his gluttonous glory, Leia in a bikini and in Boush disguise, defrosting Han Solo, the dreaded Rancor, the trip to the Sarlac Pit, and Lando's redemption.

Third: The Emperor's arrival. I still have nightmares of ROTJ Palpatine. He frightens me. Let's put it into perspective, Darth Vader fears this dude.

Fourth: Endor is so freakin' awesome that it is tough for me to contain myself. I'll concede the Ewoks to the adults, but when I was a kid, I loved them. I flat out will not deny that the Ewoks are still cool. These primitive, furry, little bastards took down "the man" with sling shots, rocks,timber and Ewok ingenuity. The Ewoks would make Francis Marion proud. The speeder bike sequence was state of the art entertainment. Why they don't have a ride at Disney based off of this is beyond me. C-3po using his "divine influence" is also a scene not to be trifled with.

Fifth: Lando in the Falcon is unsettling, but the space battle took my breath away. Watching a Star Destroyer crash into the unfinished Death Star is just priceless. Admiral Ackbar is the man, well sort of.

Sixth: Will look become angry enough to strike down the Emperor? After all, he does have is lightsaber. Green hits red and here we go. Luke shows how much is skills have developed, yet, Vader insists on giving verbal twists of the nipples. "So you have a twin sister..."

Seventh: "So be it, Jedi." Enough said.

Finally: Vader finds redemption. Leia reveals to Han that Luke his her brother. Chewbacca is still awesome and nothing beats Ewoks playing Rock Band with stormtrooper helmets.

For me, Jedi isn't the best Star Wars, but it is the most fun and it ended the trilogy with such imaginative pageantry. I will always be fond of Return of the Jedi as it has taken its place at my side.