Trick or Treat?

I felt the need to see this movie as late in the fall as I possibly could. Its August 31st release date just didn’t cut it for me because it wasn’t close enough to the actual holiday. I had been increasingly anxious to see a “new” Michael Myers on screen and to celebrate the return of one of my all time favorite “creep out” films. I have said before that remakes are usually bad ideas turned into bad movies, but I was more than willing to give Rob Zombie a pass on this one. After all, I have always pictured Zombie as a teenager relaxing in his room playing death metal and reading the latest Fangoria Magazine. He was going to be the guy to pay the proper respects to the John Carpenter original. I spent time during the spring of last year reading articles and listening to interviews with Zombie. He exuded a confidence about HIS Halloween. He stated numerous times that this Halloween movie was HIS own with a slight touch of Carpenter. I trusted Rob Zombie. I saw the Devil’s Rejects and was impressed with the social commentary that the film put off. Sure, it was brutal, but it was funny and had a style. I must admit to liking House of 100 Corpses too. Halloween was in safe hands and once again I’d feel the uneasiness of Mike Myers prowling the streets of Haddonfield. As I watched Halloween, the thoughts of safe hands corroded into a laughable mess and Rob Zombie butchered an iconic super villain with the need to make HIS movie.
The first big mistake with this movie is the script. We are forced to watch a young Michael Myers come into his own as a psychopathic killer. It isn’t the least bit interesting. Zombie tried to create sympathy for the young man by giving him the most dysfunctional family ever created for the screen. His mother is a stripper, his sister could care less, and his mother’s live in boyfriend is a low life loser. Their house in Haddonfield is not a happy home, yet these people co-exist in the same habitat and frankly, it is rather unbelievable. Michael is picked on at school because his Mom dances topless at the local “Gentleman’s Club.” After receiving a beating in the boy’s bathroom, he is taken in by the principal and to our surprise they find a dead cat in his book bag. My sympathy for Michael is gone and now he is just a troubled kid. Enter Samuel Loomis played by Malcom McDowell. Now, Loomis was played by Donald Pleasance in the original and I believed McDowell would do the character credit. He did not because there was nothing in the script for him to work with. Loomis believes the boy needs to be institutionalized and says so during his conference with Ms. Myers. Meanwhile, Michael runs off and begins killing everyone in brutal fashion while wearing a clown mask. That is right…a clown mask. He later slaughters his entire family except for his baby sister, Boo. He is subsequently put into the institution where Loomis is to oversee his “rehab.” Flash forward 15 years and Michael is now grown up and when I say “grown up” I mean 6 foot 5 with a hulking frame. This is ridiculous because I believe the movie takes place before Balco. Myers is in the process of being “transferred.” To where? We never really find out and why should it matter? Myers gets loose, kills everyone and voila he is free. How convenient. When I said the script was lacking I meant it is abysmal. Myers returns home and Zombie gives a shot for shot remake of the original with slight variations to a few murders. I have a problem with this because this is HIS movie. I won’t spoil the big reveal or the surprise ending, but let’s just say you won’t be shocked.
The major problems with Rob Zombie’s Halloween aren’t necessarily with his idea of creating a psychopath. The problem is we don’t need an explanation of “evil” or why it walks among us. It is just scary to think that a person exists in our world like Michael Myers. As a viewer, we don’t need to know his intentions. Carpenter’s Halloween was a success because his Myers had no rhyme or reason. He was created out of need to murder and inflict pain. The original brought a presence more than a character and gave us a creepy stalker who was institutionalized and escapes in grand fashion. He isn’t given “super powers” and rarely bust through walls or appears out of no where. Zombie’s Myers is cartoonish and not frightening enough for today’s audiences. Zombie’s Halloween is brutal and that is HIS fatal mistake because brutality isn’t horror. Horror movies are supposed to be scary and when we sit through them we should feel uneasy as they tap into our adrenal glands. I’m starting to feel that the horror genre has gotten far away from being creepy and scary. We now have a slew of movies that are kindly called “torture porn” by critics. These movies do have their place and Eli Roth’s Hostel is an exploration into that area, but Michael Myers doesn’t belong in a movie just about brutality. I know this was an attempt by Zombie to make HIS movie and he did, but he lost sight of what makes horror frightening. A cartoon can be stopped, but PURE E…Vil (Donald Pleasance) cannot.