Year One

Year one is the latest fingerprint of a Judd Apatow produced movie. Harold Ramis is directing and helped pen the script. The movie takes place in biblical times where Michael Cera (Superbad) and Jack Black are out casted from their village and wander through some important religious events. Some in Hollywood have said this is going to be a bit controversial and that is why it has been such a tight lipped project. The movie is due out in theaters June 19th.

Success: Apatow is producing with a capable comedic director in Ramis. Jack Black can be hilarious at times. The premise has been compared to Monty Python's Life of Brian which is a cult classic in terms of comedy. Always look on the bright side of life....

Failure: Black takes chances and often misses with roles. Michael Cera is tad overrated has a young actor even though his performance in Juno was commendable. If this movie hits too many religious marks it may get crucified along with its script.

Tomorrow: Revolutionary Road starring Leonardo Decaprio and the ever beautiful Kate Winslet.

Gems of the New Year

2009 of could prove to be a very lucrative year for the cinema. The economic struggles of the world could lead people to the box office in flocks in search of some sort of escapist fantasies. There will be many characters that will be revisited this year such as Harry Potter and Optimus Prime. Judd Apatow will try to continue is fail safe comic formula and the heavyweights of Hollywood will do and battle in several films. The comic book genre will again get an influx of films that will grace us again with X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Watchmen. Over the next few days I will examine upcoming movies for the new year and tell you why they might fail or succeed. Today's Roar is dedicated to the theme of "hope" for 2009.

First up, Public Enemies starring Christian Bale and Johnny Depp.

This is a Michael Mann production which will be released this summer. Bale will play Melvin Purvis the agent that tracked and eventually caught criminal John Dillinger played by Depp.

Success: This movie could be a classic. Both Bale and Depp are more than capable of making this an Untouchables like film. Johnny Depp's range as an actor is limitless and Bale seems to be the go to hero these days. 1930's crime dramas are appealing to those who yearn for good yarns from yesteryear.

Failure: Mann's Miami Vice was just flat out boring. I am yawning just thinking about it. If Bale is just a big time actor put into a role that minimizes his abilities next to Depp's than this could be a disaster. Public Enemies is almost too promising much like American Gangster and Road to Perdition.

Tomorrow: Year One starring Jack Black and Michael Cera

In Case You Missed It Two: No Country for Old Men and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

No Country for Old Men is quirky ride that is both captivating and frustrating. It is difficult to see this movie as the best picture of 2007 because it feels incomplete. Joel and Ethan Coen have done something magnificent for three fourths of a film. The movie is shot beautifully and the performances of Josh Brolin (Llellwyn Moss) and Javier Bardem’s haunting portrayal of Antone Chigurh are well done. There are so many things to love about this movie, but for most of you, you’ll end up hating it. It feels like a lost investment.
Josh Brolin plays the “everyman” as Moss and at first it seems apparent that the Coens want him to be the lead protagonist. He “stumbles” upon two million dollars after a violent drug deal has gone wrong in the Texas badlands. Moss’s dilemma is about “what to do with the money?” He decides to put his young wife into early retirement and keep the money. What ensues is a cat and mouse chase between Moss and a psychotic hitman named Antone Chigurh. Brolin is put into some very pulse pounding situations and proves to be a more than serviceable adversary for a professional like Chigurh. Brolin plays Moss as someone who is resourceful in life and death situations. This makes for some the most intense scenes on screen you’ll ever see.
Javier Bardem’s Antone Chigurh is frightening as a villain. He lacks a conscious and has one of the more unique ways of killing a victim. He to is resourceful and plays by a different set of rules. Bardem deserves credit for creating a character that is involving and truly scary. He is representative of something we cannot understand. Chigurh is the Coens greatest achievement in this movie. Bardem’s Chigurh turns a quarter into a life changing event for victims and this makes for a scene that is beyond doubt a classic cinematic moment.
Tommy Lee Jones plays the cop who is at the end of his career and is “blessed” with the unenviable task of hunting down both men. He is the “old man” in the title and want nothing more to end his working life on a high note by solving the mystery behind the missing two million dollars. Jones plays a role we are familiar with. The fugitives name however is not Dr. Richard Kimble. Jones is probably the most interesting character in the film, but at times his portrayal is at times, disjointed. There are some scenes between Jones and his deputy that are true gems.
So, what is wrong with No Country for Old Men? The ending is so frustrating that it is impossible to “love” this movie. I know the movie is based off of the book by Cormac McCarthy and a metaphor for putting the old working class people out to pasture after they have served there use to society. Jones speaks in metaphors in the final act and frankly it doesn’t work. Metaphors are a LITERARY DEVICE saved for books. Film-goers invest two hours and are rewarded with a metaphor. If they wanted that they could have picked up a copy of the book. The reason this movie is disappointing is that it is EXCELLENT for the most part, but leaves viewers feeling empty by the end credits. There is No Country for unfinished movies.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry is a complete disgrace to hetero and homosexuals. I want to say that I really like Kevin James and I think Adam Sandler is a very talented actor. They have a chance to really make a statement here and drop the proverbial ball. This is NOT an impactful drama or a comedy. Those of you that laughed should be ashamed. This film is most offensive towards intelligent heterosexuals.
Sandler and James play New York City firefighters. James plays the family man who lost his wife too early and is raising two young children. Sandler is Mr. February in the firehouse yearly calendar of “sexy” firemen. He is the womanizing party animal. James and his family are denied benefits that his children seem to be entitled to if he dies on the job, but because of his deceased wife and single status the city of New York in their infinite wisdom has revoked his benefits unless he can prove he is married. He enters into what is supposed to be the holy union of marriage with his best friend. The premise is that this arrangement will allow him to take care of his children if he dies on the job. Sandler reluctantly agrees to marry his best friend in Canada.
This movie fails miserably to be funny, poignant, or tolerant of gays. It is a very insincere movie that pokes fun at every gay stereotype. There isn’t one masculine gay character throughout the film. Ving Rhames plays the supposedly closeted tough firemen. There is a shower scene in which Sandler and James’s relationship has been disclosed to the firehouse and the soap gets dropped. All of the straight guys refuse to get the soap because it is a known fact that all gays will mount you if you drop the soap in the shower. All of us straight guys know that to be a fact. Rhames enters the shower and the commotion stops as he picks up the soap and in a very feminine way starts to sing “I’m every Woman.” I guess I was supposed to laugh, but I was so offended and truly embarrassed to be straight.
Enter the beautiful Jessica Biel as James’s lawyer and the female love interest of Sandler. She is purposely put into this movie to remind us that we are not gay. That by watching a movie about homosexuality we will not catch the “Gay.” Biel’s brother in the film happens to be gay and she does a lot for the advancement of gay rights and that is the problem with Chuck and Larry. It isn’t about gay rights, it is about the right to make fun of gays and turn a profit of the backside of a big star in Sandler. It so happens that Biel’s brother is, you guessed it, a flamboyant gay character.
Chuck and Larry spends most of its time telling us how gay we are not. Sandler beds Hooters girls and an ugly Eastern European maid. Dan Akroyd has a bit part as the fire chief and gives a “lesson” on being tolerant about other lifestyles at the end of the film. The movie had a chance to address a real problem in a comical way, but instead becomes and insensitive piece of gay bashing worthy of the title hate crime.

Just In Case You Missed It: Hard Candy (2005)

Hard Candy is psychological thriller that follows a different set of rules. It is character study of the things we want to do and don’t because of the social and legal ramifications. Pedophilia is a very scary place to take a trip to in any type of art. It is the embodiment of a sickness. Pedophiles are people we want to take off of the street by any means necessary. When we watch a newscast and hear a story of a child predator in our community it ignites a rage in most of us. We talk about the harm we would like to inflict on the perpetrator, but do not have the resources or the courage to follow through. Ellen Page (Juno) plays 14 year-old Haley Stark, an intelligent, well-spoken child who doesn’t fit the typical victim profile She is self-confident and very self-aware. Patrick Wilson (Watchmen) plays Jeff Kohlver a 32 year-old photographer. He is good looking, educated, and like Hayley, does not fit the profile of a child predator. This movie is really about two characters, one doing the expected and the other doing the unexpected. Kohlver lures young Haley to his apartment and before you know it there is some awkward sexual tension between the two. Kohlver cannot see past his dark desires to see the plan that Hayley has plotted for him. Haley actually is on a revenge mission to avenge the rape and death of another young girl whom she suspects was murdered by Kohlver. After sharing a few screwdrivers together, Kohlver finds himself to be drugged and soon passes out only to awake tied to a chair. This is the beginning of two great performances and Page is actually better in this role pre-Juno. Hayley maps out her plan for Kohlver and divulges how she entrapped him. The movie succeeds here because she gives the audience an explanation for her motives. Unlike most thrillers, it isn’t as simple as it seems. What we get as an audience is some “eye covering” moments involving torture in the form psychological warfare and castration. It is not done without cause and we soon start to feel for Hayley. She is just fourteen and what horror did this man inflict upon her friend to drive her to these extreme measures? The conversations in this film are real and heartfelt. Some will say Hayley is a character built out of man hate. I say she is hero who stands up for all the victims of sex-abuse who cannot stand-up for themselves. Wilson’s Kohlver is extremely manipulative and he plays his role perfectly. It may be difficult for some, but taking a piece of Hard Candy is well worth it.

Villians!

True on –screen villains are characters that we despise and cannot wait to see them meet their final doom. There has to be a true hatred for a villain to exist. He or she is the character that gives you actual feelings of anger as you watch them plot and plan the demise of a hero or protagonist. A villain is a portrait into the darkest recesses of the human psyche. They are representative of everything ugly about life. Their personalities can be best described as unexplained. A true villain does not have a clear past. It is the one thing they hide so that vulnerability cannot be found. His or her intentions must be muddled at best. They are lost demons roaming freely and written into scripts to further an understanding of our main characters. They should not be caricatures or liked, and most importantly they should not garner any sympathy from the audience.

Today’s Roar will focus on my list of top the top five movie villains I despise. Darth Vader does not count even though he is evil, his intentions are not always to hurt or cause pain and he can choke people by putting his index finger to his thumb and that is just cool. Freddy Krueger does not count because in a sick way I kind of pull for him just so I can hear stupid one-liners. The villains for this list must be unlikable.

5) Principal Vernon (The Breakfast Club)-What a douche! I’m a swell guy he says. I say I hate you from the bottom of my soul.

4) Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest)-Louise Fletcher was scary as hell in this role. There was nothing likable about Nurse Ratched. Poor Chief. I’m sad just thinking about this movie. What a colossal bitch!

3) Captain Vidal (Pan’s Labyrinth)-Seriously scary and mean. Whiskey pouring through a hole in his cheek still haunts me. He is the vacuum that sucked the imagination out of our hero. I detested him from the first scene.

2)King Edward Longshanks (Braveheart)-Homophobe! He was not a nice character. I wanted to put on a kilt and cut him up by the end of this one. It was great scene when it was whispered into his ear that his heir would have the bloodline of William Wallace. FREEDOM!

1)Ivan Drago (Rocky IV)-Yeah, you’ll dispute this, but remember how much we all hated the Russians in the 80’s. We were taught to loathe anything Moscow. He was so clever with his words too, If he dies, he dies. Good one Drago. Here are some blue jeans and a loaf of bread, go have fun at the Kremlin. I’m going to run up a mountain and shout your name.

Totally Tubular

The 80’s were a decade of “unique clothing” styles, synthesized music, and the golden age of video games. Being a child of the 80’s meant that your floor was littered with Transformers, GI Joe’s, and the occasional Ewok. Pac-Man Fever was running rampant and Strawberry Shortcake was spreading kindness. Punky Brewster ruled the air waves along with ALF from Melmak. Madonna was like a virgin, but Michael Jackson claimed the kid was not his son. MTV actually had music videos and we looked forward to seeing cutie Martha Quinn countdown the videos of the day. This was the time when Saturday morning cartoons actually meant something. Kids would sit with a bowl of cereal and watch T.V. until 10am before going to practice or lessons. This was the 80’s and in its own subtle way it was special.
Hollywood sees the 80’s a chance to reinvent the decade. Knight Rider will once again play this fall on NBC. Transformers was a huge theatrical success. GI Joe is on its way to theaters and Atari games can now be played via a joystick that connects directly to the television. Personally, I love(d) the shows and movies of the 1980’s. So, what will the time machine of Hollywood bring back to us?

Today’s Roar is dedicated to the 1980’s and the rumblings of bringing back some classics. I do not necessarily agree with reinventing the wheel, but I did enjoy certain things about the decade.
Things that were cool long ago…

5) V Mini-Series-The geniuses in Hollywood have a script in place to make a big budget movie. The series was one of my favorites and still ranks as one of the highest rated shows of all time.

Why I loved it?-It was cool as a kid to see Lizards harvesting humans, but as I got older, it was easy to see the allegory to Nazi Germany.

4) The Goonies-This was the adventure of all adventures. It involved riding bikes and searching for treasure. There is a script that is FINALLY in place to go ahead with a sequel or a reimaging. Some things are meant to be left untouched.

Why I loved it?-Imagination, Imagination, Imagination. I totally immersed myself into the role of the kids following the legend of Chester Copperpot. I still ride my bike and look for lost ships.

3)GI Joe-Let’s take GI Joe and put the movie into the hands of Mummy director, Stephen Sommers. This is a bad idea. I think the studio execs forgot that knowing is half the battle.

Why I loved it?-Swivel Grip, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the anatomically advantaged Baroness. The cartoon was the same episode or storyline everyday, but I watched religously at 4pm. It was very cool to get my “by mail” Sgt. Slaughter.

2)Fantasy Movies-Legend, Labyrinth, and the Dark Crystal. There is a supposed sequel to the Dark Crystal and it seems to have been in production forever. Genddy Tartakovsky will direct, so hope remains for its 2009 release.

Why I loved it? Tim Curry as the Lord of Darkness still scares the crap out of me. The world of The Dark Crystal seemed existent back then. Henson’s world still has an impact and Gefflings might be real.

1)Classic Cinema-The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, ET, Back to the Future, The Terminator and on and on…

Why I loved it? These movies are classics. They have tried to duplicate the success of each of these films in some way or another over the years. Do remember Darth Vader’s admission to Luke, the FIRST time Elliot’s bike levitates with ET in his basket, Han thawing from carbonite, and Arnold saying, “I’ll be Back” before ramming a truck through the front door of the police station?

Times to Remember

Bruce Springsteen said it best, “Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of, well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister but boring stories of glory days.” This is so true when it comes to getting older and realizing that your best days are probably behind you. We mistakenly try to live vicariously through our children instead of just letting our children live. We remember a time when we were kids rooting and cheering men playing a game on television. Now, we are men cheering and jeering “kids” playing the same game. Oh, how times have changed. Yet, when it comes to the “glory days” I feel that I am better off now. I have, like many of you, realized that I am better equipped to deal with the rigors of life. However, I still look back fondly of the days when I could actually throw a baseball and not have the need to pop four Aleve after “stretching” out my arm. Gone are those days when I could play anything for 8 or 9 hours straight. Gone are the days of chasing pretty girls or in my case, any girl that would have me. I now refer to these days as the best days of my life, but my memory still holds on to the “glory days.”

Today’s Roar features movies of those whose fire has been extinguished by time.

5) The Best of Times-Kurt Russell returns to his “glory days” as a high school quarterback to avenge the heartbreaking loss of a cross town rival. Robin Williams manipulates him into one last shot at glory. It is still hard to watch because Williams playing a wide receiver is not plausible, but he is from ORK…

4) Rocky Balboa-The more times I watch this movie the better it becomes. Rocky has been put out to pasture and his sidekick Pauly is right beside him. Rocky has to go out on his on terms. I love the tone of this movie because ageism does exist and when have you finally earned the right to do the things you love?

3) American Beauty-This movie epitomizes mid-life crisis. Kevin Spacey is driven to look, feel, and act young. He needs to recreate a time in his life when things were simple and everything felt new. And just when you finally have your epiphany….blam!

2) The Hustler-Eddie Felson is the hot new pool player trying to learn and knock off Minnesota Fats. This is a classic not to be outdone by the remake The Color of Money. Never confuse talent for experience. Gleason and Newman star and it is reminder of what great actor Jackie Gleason truly was.

1) Kingpin-Roy Munson, con-man, alcoholic, and bowler. His days of bowling are long gone and it doesn’t help that he has but one hand…creepy! I am above the law!