Quick Hits

The Blind Side

An entertaining film filled with schmaltzy scenes of compassion and moving characters. I was left with the feeling that had this been a Spike Lee film we may have gotten a grittier feel to the streets of Memphis and the true aura of Michael Oher would have filled the screen, however we get an above average rising from the ashes movie. All credit in this movie belongs to Sandra Bullock who plays Leigh Anne Tuohy, the woman who took in the lost soul of Michael Oher and helped transform him into a premier NFL lineman. This movie felt unexplored especially the illegal recruiting scandal that followed Oher to Ole Miss. This was a good movie with a great performance, but as a sport enthusiast, I felt there is a better movie there than was put on screen.

Avatar

Seeing this in 3D was like being on a three hour ride at Disney World. The story is sometimes lacking and uneven, but the visceral overload that hits your senses carries the movie. Cameron's message of environmental conciousness is clearly heard. The tree of life was reminder of the old tales of Sidhartha becoming one with a fig tree as he contemplated his spirtual being. Although this movie is not quite a spiritual epiphany it is beautifully shot and inspiring as far as fantasy films go. As Cameron cashes in on this billion dollar film, he is also planning its sequel which will explore the sea of Pandora. Now that sounds entertaining.

Twilight: New Moon

It is hard to embrace vampires and werewolves when they are so EMO. The books are meant to be romantic and the movies are love stories. I respect the material on the level that there are no vampire rules. There aren't wooden stakes and garlic littering the landscape, but the love story between Bella and Edward just isn't portrayed with enough angst. I will admit to being creeped out a bit by his stalkerish behavior. Bella should run at every possible chance, but her love for pasty white dudes keeps her around. New Moon is a far better effort than Twilight, but I'm left wondering if glossing these movies over was a good choice for its legions of devoted fans. Bill Condon has signed on to direct Breaking Dawn and I believe they have found a director who should have been there from the beginning.

Precious

There have been very few movies in my lifetime that have had evoked an emotional response as powerful as the one felt after viewing Precious. I saw Precious several weeks ago and its lasting memory is nearly impossible to shake. Precious isn’t a movie about sexual abuse, alcoholism, socio-economics, or trapped urbanites struggling for their piece of the pie(although all elements are present). It is a movie basted and boiled in ignorance. Do not expect a climax where all problems are solved and hope glimmers as the credits roll. This story, this movie is painfully intimate.

Clareece “Precious” Jones (Gabourey Sidibe) is a character that is rarely seen or heard. She is for all purposes, a survivor. A survivor of her abusive mother, a survivor of her sexually abusive father, and a survivor of her own ignorance. When we first meet her she has yet to realize the weight of her life thus far and why would she realize such a thing when her own mother (Mo’nique) tells her she is of no consequence? At 16 she has lived many lifetimes and endured pain that most directors (Lee Daniels) would not even touch on screen. There are times in life when we hear of places like the places depicted in this movie, but we think they do not exist until we are standing in them. This is one of those cases. Every minute spent with Precious is painful and scary. The thought that cruelty exists on this level is unsettling. The thought that compassion and love doesn’t exist is just disheartening. The thought that ignorance is a prevailing intellectual response in Precious’s world, well that is just the work of the demented and demonic mind of her parental upbringing. Precious does escape into her mind from time to time and imagines herself a model or movie star. Through these scenes we get the message of hope and the realization that the mind goes into deep protective mode when faced with a great amount of trauma. However, as a viewer hope is fleeting from the first 20 minutes of the film, but we are forced to hang on because if Precious can, we can. We know from the opening scenes that we are going to be led somewhere overwrought with sadness and fear. We know that by the end, this is going to hurt like hell.

Ms. Jones (Mo’nique) isn’t the type of villain you are accustomed to seeing. Her entire life is based on her own ignorance. It is ignorance that will be her undoing and ignorance that has diseased her daughter. She isn’t Darth Vader, Freddy Krueger, or Satan. She is worse because her purpose is to inflict as much emotional torment upon Precious as humanly possible. She is so utterly “fucked up”(pardon the language, but there is no other way to convey her character) as a reality based character that it turns my stomach to think about her. She manipulates at every opportunity. She is a dream stealer and hopeless as a human. Can she be saved? No. There is no religion, self-help group or pill that can change ignorance in its purest form. She is the old cliché, “hurt people, hurt people.” It is, in all honesty, the most disturbed I have ever been watching a character on screen. Her performance will never to be forgotten.

In all great movies there is “THE SCENE” that puts the movie over the top. In Precious it involves a social worker played by Mariah Carey, Ms. Jones, and Precious. The now stronger Precious and her mother are to talk about the abuse and for once put all the cards on the table. The tale of the sexual abuse and subsequent stories that ensue are mind-shattering, heartbreaking tales that seem hard to hear, but had to be impossible to survive. Mo’nique’s performance in this one scene solidify her as an actual accomplished actress. She talks of dreams and redemption and for a split second she shows to be human, but her transgressions cannot be forgiven by viewers and will not be forgiven by Precious.

This is not a movie to be watched because you are looking for escapists fantasies. This isn’t a love story or drama with a sweeping soundtrack featuring Taylor Swift love songs. This movie is the boiling down of raw emotions. It’s shaking hands with emotional pain and it is a damn exhausting film. Precious has an imprint on my mind that I’m sure will become fossilized. Watching Precious walk away with her two children at the end was a story in itself. Like Precious Jones, I believe I am ignorant enough to have hope.

Don't Cry Out Loud

Emotions are a big part of movies. There are those movies that make us laugh, those that get the adrenal glands pumping, those that make us think, and those that make us cry. Today’s roar will focus on movies that bring about a salty discharge from the eye. For guys, it is probably the sports movie with the kid who will never play Division 1 football, or the action driven flick where the hero says goodbye to his wife as he rushes off to save the planet from a giant meteor. For gals, it is the best friend movie, where two girls grew up in the same town and the best friend develops cancer only to die leaving behind a child. Either way, we put ourselves through the emotionally ringer time and time again and call it entertainment. Today, I give you what I consider to be tear worthy films.

5) King Kong (1933) I was nine when I saw this for the first time and I was enthralled by Faye Wray and Bruce Cabot, but the big hairy ape had me at his first roar. When he dies at the end of this movie, I was forever moved and could not understand why anybody would shoot something so cuddly.

4)Braveheart (1995)Has there ever been a movie that makes you hate the English more than Braveheart? Freedom!!!!!

3)The Fox and the Hound (1981) This is Disney right? This is supposed to be upbeat with songs and happy endings, right? No. Two childhood friends forced to be enemies and the story goes from there. The ending of this movie provokes tears that literally spit from my eyes. I think I need a tissue just thinking about it.

2) Schindler’s List(1993)/Hotel Rwanda(2004)Movies about mass genocide are enough to get me going, but throw in Liam Neeson (Oscar Schindler) and Don Cheadle(Paul Rusesabagina) and you have two of the finest movies on the subject ever made.

1) Field of Dreams (1989)Are you serious? To have a catch with your deceased father once again makes me cry like a baby. Crying is actually not a good word to use, it is more like sobbing. If you build it, the tears will come.

Snape Bitten

It is no secret that the Half-Blood Prince is the most important book in the series. It is the chapter where the events that will set the tone for the future of the world of Hogwarts hang in the balance. It is where the one of the most iconic book characters of all time meets certain doom. It is where director, David Yates must rise to the occasion and put a movie on screen that carries the sexual angst and raw emotion that exists in the book. The Half-Blood Prince is where David Yates must prevent himself from making a film word for word remake of the novel. He must create his own film while keeping the source close to his heart. Yates has succeeded in making the best looking Harry Potter to date and yet, there is something missing. Chunks of the story where not told and things added for “Hollywood effect.” This is not a detriment to his Harry Potter, but it takes some getting use to as we watch for the two and half hour running time.

The Half-Blood Prince is about a lingering fear that the world as we know it, will fall into darkness. It is about an unfinished war that was started by adults and must be finished by their children. The tasks are insurmountable at times and our protagonist, Harry, is not the tortured soul he once was. He is now accepted that it is he that must save the people he loves. It is he who must convince everyone that James and Lilly Potter did not die in vain. This is Harry’s story. He has grown and so have his friends and even they know that they must finish what has been started so long ago. There is wonderful, even effortless interaction between Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe), Hermione Granger (Emma Watson), and Ron Weasley(Rupert Grint). Yates seems to make this part of the Half-Blood Prince work to his advantage. The characters like the fans of the series have grown into late teens who suffer from raging hormones and identity crisis’. This is where this movie works best, when its characters have time to go into exposition about the events surrounding an oncoming doom.

This Harry Potter is stylistically better than the previous five and Hogwarts looks aged. The magic and wonder of just going to the school is gone. The school has become a symbol for wizards and witches to defend against the mounting armies of Voldemort. It cannot be said enough, this movie carries the feeling of foreboding throughout. It is becoming a dark and lonely place as the lines are divided between good and evil.

Yates has improved greatly as a director. This is now his third Harry Potter film and he is set to do the final film (two parts). Like Rowling, he has improved as the series has moved forward. However, he has taken some liberties with the stories and true fans of the novels may not be delighted by his deletion of key parts, but it is important to remember that film is its own medium. The seventh (and eighth) film should prove to be a monumental swan song for Yates as well as his cast. When the credits role in 2010 the Phoenix will cry yet again as our beloved Harry Potter says goodbye.

Old School Review: Let MeLook on You with My Own Eyes

The line outside the Towne Four movie theater was about a half-mile. I was an 8 year old boy standing with ticket in hand as the usher counted us and moved us forward. As far as I knew this would be the last Star Wars movie I would see. My young mind was still trying to grasp Darth Vader being Luke's father and the fact the Han Solo was now in Carbonite form. I remember holding five-dollars for popcorn and soda and hoping to see the Galactic Empire crumble as my childhood hero, Luke Skywalker, finally realized his destiny. I knew that all would be well with Return of the Jedi because I looked at some photos in Time Magazine and saw these cute, teddy bear characters standing in a forest. I was perplexed to find a photo of Leia and Luke dressed in camouflage gear. What could this mean? Had they gone G.I Joe? Were these "bears" an enemy of the Rebellion or victims of the iron fisted rule of the Empire? So many questions to be answered. I sat in the theater next to my childhood buddy and his father purchased a bucket of popcorn for us to share. Even though I was a heavyset kid, I could care less about the popcorn. I needed answers and they had better come in bunches. The 20th Century Fox logo appeared and I disappeared into a galaxy far, far, away...

Return of the Jedi is a culmination of all the things we love about Star Wars. For an 8 year-old boy this movie was damn near flawless. Let's examine it's awesome power.

First: The first scene in Jedi is terrifying. Darth Vader states that the Emperor is "not as forgiving as I am." Holy crap! Not as forgiving as you? You cut your own son's hand off! What happens if refused to clean his room or take out the garbage? Vader was scary and my heart palpitated at the very thought of this Emperor guy.

Second: Jabba's Palace is the greatest 30 minutes of cinema I've ever seen. I love the eclectic decoration, the seedy inhabitants, Jabba in his gluttonous glory, Leia in a bikini and in Boush disguise, defrosting Han Solo, the dreaded Rancor, the trip to the Sarlac Pit, and Lando's redemption.

Third: The Emperor's arrival. I still have nightmares of ROTJ Palpatine. He frightens me. Let's put it into perspective, Darth Vader fears this dude.

Fourth: Endor is so freakin' awesome that it is tough for me to contain myself. I'll concede the Ewoks to the adults, but when I was a kid, I loved them. I flat out will not deny that the Ewoks are still cool. These primitive, furry, little bastards took down "the man" with sling shots, rocks,timber and Ewok ingenuity. The Ewoks would make Francis Marion proud. The speeder bike sequence was state of the art entertainment. Why they don't have a ride at Disney based off of this is beyond me. C-3po using his "divine influence" is also a scene not to be trifled with.

Fifth: Lando in the Falcon is unsettling, but the space battle took my breath away. Watching a Star Destroyer crash into the unfinished Death Star is just priceless. Admiral Ackbar is the man, well sort of.

Sixth: Will look become angry enough to strike down the Emperor? After all, he does have is lightsaber. Green hits red and here we go. Luke shows how much is skills have developed, yet, Vader insists on giving verbal twists of the nipples. "So you have a twin sister..."

Seventh: "So be it, Jedi." Enough said.

Finally: Vader finds redemption. Leia reveals to Han that Luke his her brother. Chewbacca is still awesome and nothing beats Ewoks playing Rock Band with stormtrooper helmets.

For me, Jedi isn't the best Star Wars, but it is the most fun and it ended the trilogy with such imaginative pageantry. I will always be fond of Return of the Jedi as it has taken its place at my side.

Super Daddy

The seventeen year-old Kim is the pride and joy of her father, the retired agent Bryan Mills that left the secret service to stay near Kim in California. Kim lives with her mother Lenore and her wealthy stepfather Stuart; she convinces the reluctant Bryan to sign an authorization to travel to Paris with her friend Amanda. When they arrive, they share a cab with the stranger Peter and Amanda tells to him that they are alone in Paris. When Bryan succeeds in contacting his daughter, she tells that criminals have just break in the spot and they are kidnapped by an Albanese gang of human trafficking. Bryan promises in the phone to kill the kidnapper of his daughter and immediately travels to Paris to find Kim and chase the criminals (IMDB).
Mills is played by Liam Neeson and if weren't for him being cast in this movie this could have been a disaster. Taken is a sugar high. It is entertaining, but not fulfilling. The problem with Nesson's character is that he dispatches of his enemies with such ease. He is never beaten or battered and that makes him less believable as a character. Maggie Grace plays his daughter and plays the typical dumb teenager. Luc Besson directs (Transporter Trilogy) and his action scenes are quite good, but the explanation of how and why these characters exist in this seedy underworld are unanswered. The strong point of the film is Nesson's statements of foreshadowing. He is still capable of carrying the most average films. Overall, I was pleased , but not Taken.

P.S.
I was fortunate enough to see the European release and the violence was dialed up a bit.

Crystal Clear

Jason Vorhees is our modern Frankenstein. He is the equivalent of the old Universal Monsters from yesteryear. It always amazed me that he could lumber around the forest and catch even the nimblest of prey by just taking his time. Walls, doors, brick were always treated as paper as he would rumble through them effortlessly and kill a naked, screaming woman. I look back on the previous Friday the 13th movies fondly because for me they were an indulgence or a nice piece of expensive chocolate that would be enjoyed, but easily forgotten. I had gotten it through my head that if given the chance, I could outrun, outthink and maneuver the land version of a Great White shark. You see, watching Jason movies as always been safe. There was never anything to REALLY be afraid of until now…
The newest “reboot” of franchise would prove to be a tricky task for director Marcus Nispel (Texas Chainsaw Massacre). He had to once again instill fear and make us afraid of Jason. This wouldn’t be easy given the abysmal remakes of Halloween and Prom Night. Those movies made the mistake of paying far too much homage to the original material. No, Nispel had to make Friday the 13th HIS movie. I guess the most glaring difference is the intelligence of Jason. He is like the Jason Bourne of psychotic, homicidal, mass murderers. I don’t know if the masses prefer lumbering, semi-retarded Jason or not. In this version he baits and catches. Crystal Lake his truly his and he has made it a point to be the lone proprietor of the land surrounding the lake. He has hidden trenches, knows where the electrical boxes are located, and even seems to be running his own underground morgue. Yeah, this Jason is different. So different in fact that instead of walking after you, he runs like a sprinter with machete for a baton. He is lightening quick, but not in a supernatural fashion. Gone are the days of his ability to just appear wherever and whenever. No, this Jason is stealthy, but in a way where he plays fair. He’ll match his murderous skills against your will for survival any day. He does don the hockey mask to cover up his deformed face and has incredible knowledge of how things work. A little known fact about Jason is that he obviously studied horticulture because he grows his own pot. Yes, you read that correctly, he knows how to grow weed. He baits unsuspecting, horny, college kids into the woods to find his crop and when they do, well, you know. Jason obviously does not partake in the smoking of the weed hence his anger issues. Like I said, this Jason is different.
Some things haven’t changed with Crystal Lake over the years. For instance, the police force is still doing a piss poor job of catching the greatest mass murderer of our time. Women are still performing gratuitous sex acts that are probably illegal in most states. Branches still trip people as they run in the dark through the woods, and drunken parties are the rage despite the fact that mass killings are status quo. But I digress, Crystal Lake has never looked better. There is true production value with Friday the 13th. The acting is on par with that of the previous 10 films and the killings are just as over the top as one might expect. I liked this Friday for putting fear back into the mythos of Jason. He isn’t just a caricature, but a killer.

Terminator Salvation

Christian Bale is back again fighting baddies in Terminator Salvation. McG will direct this post apocalyptic feature which will focus on a new character, Marcus Wright whose last memory is being on death row. Connor played by Bale must decide whether Wright is friend or foe.

Success: This could be a great popcorn flick with an interesting story. Furthering the story could be a new jump start to the franchise and Bale could do justice the John Connor Character.

Failure: The fear of the Terminator is gone. Remember how scary it was to see the unstoppable force in the original? Cameron had trouble endorsing McG has a director. James must still be riding high from Titanic success.

Tomorrow: Watchmen

Revolutionary Road

Sam Mendes (American Beauty) directs this drama about a marriage of two people from the 1950's starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicaprio. The two play Frank and April Wheeler who are two people trying to raise a family in New England. It is a movie built around the resentment of lost hopes and dreams as two people fall into the monotonous daily routines of life. Revolutionary Road opens January 15th.

Success: It is about time that we acknowledge Leonardo Dicaprio as an accomplished actor. Dicaprio has come very far as has his range. Winslet has fine tuned her game over the years and in my belief, has become the quintessential actress. Sam Mendes directs and if American Beauty weren't enough of a pedigree then I can't see this film failing in the drama genre.

Failure: This movie was done poorly with Michelle Pffiefer and Bruce Willis's The Story of Us. This could turn into an overly dramatic affair without a glimmer of light. Heartbreaking movies don't always make the best entertainment when overwrought with discontent.

Next: Terminator Salvation

Year One

Year one is the latest fingerprint of a Judd Apatow produced movie. Harold Ramis is directing and helped pen the script. The movie takes place in biblical times where Michael Cera (Superbad) and Jack Black are out casted from their village and wander through some important religious events. Some in Hollywood have said this is going to be a bit controversial and that is why it has been such a tight lipped project. The movie is due out in theaters June 19th.

Success: Apatow is producing with a capable comedic director in Ramis. Jack Black can be hilarious at times. The premise has been compared to Monty Python's Life of Brian which is a cult classic in terms of comedy. Always look on the bright side of life....

Failure: Black takes chances and often misses with roles. Michael Cera is tad overrated has a young actor even though his performance in Juno was commendable. If this movie hits too many religious marks it may get crucified along with its script.

Tomorrow: Revolutionary Road starring Leonardo Decaprio and the ever beautiful Kate Winslet.

Gems of the New Year

2009 of could prove to be a very lucrative year for the cinema. The economic struggles of the world could lead people to the box office in flocks in search of some sort of escapist fantasies. There will be many characters that will be revisited this year such as Harry Potter and Optimus Prime. Judd Apatow will try to continue is fail safe comic formula and the heavyweights of Hollywood will do and battle in several films. The comic book genre will again get an influx of films that will grace us again with X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Watchmen. Over the next few days I will examine upcoming movies for the new year and tell you why they might fail or succeed. Today's Roar is dedicated to the theme of "hope" for 2009.

First up, Public Enemies starring Christian Bale and Johnny Depp.

This is a Michael Mann production which will be released this summer. Bale will play Melvin Purvis the agent that tracked and eventually caught criminal John Dillinger played by Depp.

Success: This movie could be a classic. Both Bale and Depp are more than capable of making this an Untouchables like film. Johnny Depp's range as an actor is limitless and Bale seems to be the go to hero these days. 1930's crime dramas are appealing to those who yearn for good yarns from yesteryear.

Failure: Mann's Miami Vice was just flat out boring. I am yawning just thinking about it. If Bale is just a big time actor put into a role that minimizes his abilities next to Depp's than this could be a disaster. Public Enemies is almost too promising much like American Gangster and Road to Perdition.

Tomorrow: Year One starring Jack Black and Michael Cera

In Case You Missed It Two: No Country for Old Men and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

No Country for Old Men is quirky ride that is both captivating and frustrating. It is difficult to see this movie as the best picture of 2007 because it feels incomplete. Joel and Ethan Coen have done something magnificent for three fourths of a film. The movie is shot beautifully and the performances of Josh Brolin (Llellwyn Moss) and Javier Bardem’s haunting portrayal of Antone Chigurh are well done. There are so many things to love about this movie, but for most of you, you’ll end up hating it. It feels like a lost investment.
Josh Brolin plays the “everyman” as Moss and at first it seems apparent that the Coens want him to be the lead protagonist. He “stumbles” upon two million dollars after a violent drug deal has gone wrong in the Texas badlands. Moss’s dilemma is about “what to do with the money?” He decides to put his young wife into early retirement and keep the money. What ensues is a cat and mouse chase between Moss and a psychotic hitman named Antone Chigurh. Brolin is put into some very pulse pounding situations and proves to be a more than serviceable adversary for a professional like Chigurh. Brolin plays Moss as someone who is resourceful in life and death situations. This makes for some the most intense scenes on screen you’ll ever see.
Javier Bardem’s Antone Chigurh is frightening as a villain. He lacks a conscious and has one of the more unique ways of killing a victim. He to is resourceful and plays by a different set of rules. Bardem deserves credit for creating a character that is involving and truly scary. He is representative of something we cannot understand. Chigurh is the Coens greatest achievement in this movie. Bardem’s Chigurh turns a quarter into a life changing event for victims and this makes for a scene that is beyond doubt a classic cinematic moment.
Tommy Lee Jones plays the cop who is at the end of his career and is “blessed” with the unenviable task of hunting down both men. He is the “old man” in the title and want nothing more to end his working life on a high note by solving the mystery behind the missing two million dollars. Jones plays a role we are familiar with. The fugitives name however is not Dr. Richard Kimble. Jones is probably the most interesting character in the film, but at times his portrayal is at times, disjointed. There are some scenes between Jones and his deputy that are true gems.
So, what is wrong with No Country for Old Men? The ending is so frustrating that it is impossible to “love” this movie. I know the movie is based off of the book by Cormac McCarthy and a metaphor for putting the old working class people out to pasture after they have served there use to society. Jones speaks in metaphors in the final act and frankly it doesn’t work. Metaphors are a LITERARY DEVICE saved for books. Film-goers invest two hours and are rewarded with a metaphor. If they wanted that they could have picked up a copy of the book. The reason this movie is disappointing is that it is EXCELLENT for the most part, but leaves viewers feeling empty by the end credits. There is No Country for unfinished movies.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry is a complete disgrace to hetero and homosexuals. I want to say that I really like Kevin James and I think Adam Sandler is a very talented actor. They have a chance to really make a statement here and drop the proverbial ball. This is NOT an impactful drama or a comedy. Those of you that laughed should be ashamed. This film is most offensive towards intelligent heterosexuals.
Sandler and James play New York City firefighters. James plays the family man who lost his wife too early and is raising two young children. Sandler is Mr. February in the firehouse yearly calendar of “sexy” firemen. He is the womanizing party animal. James and his family are denied benefits that his children seem to be entitled to if he dies on the job, but because of his deceased wife and single status the city of New York in their infinite wisdom has revoked his benefits unless he can prove he is married. He enters into what is supposed to be the holy union of marriage with his best friend. The premise is that this arrangement will allow him to take care of his children if he dies on the job. Sandler reluctantly agrees to marry his best friend in Canada.
This movie fails miserably to be funny, poignant, or tolerant of gays. It is a very insincere movie that pokes fun at every gay stereotype. There isn’t one masculine gay character throughout the film. Ving Rhames plays the supposedly closeted tough firemen. There is a shower scene in which Sandler and James’s relationship has been disclosed to the firehouse and the soap gets dropped. All of the straight guys refuse to get the soap because it is a known fact that all gays will mount you if you drop the soap in the shower. All of us straight guys know that to be a fact. Rhames enters the shower and the commotion stops as he picks up the soap and in a very feminine way starts to sing “I’m every Woman.” I guess I was supposed to laugh, but I was so offended and truly embarrassed to be straight.
Enter the beautiful Jessica Biel as James’s lawyer and the female love interest of Sandler. She is purposely put into this movie to remind us that we are not gay. That by watching a movie about homosexuality we will not catch the “Gay.” Biel’s brother in the film happens to be gay and she does a lot for the advancement of gay rights and that is the problem with Chuck and Larry. It isn’t about gay rights, it is about the right to make fun of gays and turn a profit of the backside of a big star in Sandler. It so happens that Biel’s brother is, you guessed it, a flamboyant gay character.
Chuck and Larry spends most of its time telling us how gay we are not. Sandler beds Hooters girls and an ugly Eastern European maid. Dan Akroyd has a bit part as the fire chief and gives a “lesson” on being tolerant about other lifestyles at the end of the film. The movie had a chance to address a real problem in a comical way, but instead becomes and insensitive piece of gay bashing worthy of the title hate crime.

Just In Case You Missed It: Hard Candy (2005)

Hard Candy is psychological thriller that follows a different set of rules. It is character study of the things we want to do and don’t because of the social and legal ramifications. Pedophilia is a very scary place to take a trip to in any type of art. It is the embodiment of a sickness. Pedophiles are people we want to take off of the street by any means necessary. When we watch a newscast and hear a story of a child predator in our community it ignites a rage in most of us. We talk about the harm we would like to inflict on the perpetrator, but do not have the resources or the courage to follow through. Ellen Page (Juno) plays 14 year-old Haley Stark, an intelligent, well-spoken child who doesn’t fit the typical victim profile She is self-confident and very self-aware. Patrick Wilson (Watchmen) plays Jeff Kohlver a 32 year-old photographer. He is good looking, educated, and like Hayley, does not fit the profile of a child predator. This movie is really about two characters, one doing the expected and the other doing the unexpected. Kohlver lures young Haley to his apartment and before you know it there is some awkward sexual tension between the two. Kohlver cannot see past his dark desires to see the plan that Hayley has plotted for him. Haley actually is on a revenge mission to avenge the rape and death of another young girl whom she suspects was murdered by Kohlver. After sharing a few screwdrivers together, Kohlver finds himself to be drugged and soon passes out only to awake tied to a chair. This is the beginning of two great performances and Page is actually better in this role pre-Juno. Hayley maps out her plan for Kohlver and divulges how she entrapped him. The movie succeeds here because she gives the audience an explanation for her motives. Unlike most thrillers, it isn’t as simple as it seems. What we get as an audience is some “eye covering” moments involving torture in the form psychological warfare and castration. It is not done without cause and we soon start to feel for Hayley. She is just fourteen and what horror did this man inflict upon her friend to drive her to these extreme measures? The conversations in this film are real and heartfelt. Some will say Hayley is a character built out of man hate. I say she is hero who stands up for all the victims of sex-abuse who cannot stand-up for themselves. Wilson’s Kohlver is extremely manipulative and he plays his role perfectly. It may be difficult for some, but taking a piece of Hard Candy is well worth it.

Villians!

True on –screen villains are characters that we despise and cannot wait to see them meet their final doom. There has to be a true hatred for a villain to exist. He or she is the character that gives you actual feelings of anger as you watch them plot and plan the demise of a hero or protagonist. A villain is a portrait into the darkest recesses of the human psyche. They are representative of everything ugly about life. Their personalities can be best described as unexplained. A true villain does not have a clear past. It is the one thing they hide so that vulnerability cannot be found. His or her intentions must be muddled at best. They are lost demons roaming freely and written into scripts to further an understanding of our main characters. They should not be caricatures or liked, and most importantly they should not garner any sympathy from the audience.

Today’s Roar will focus on my list of top the top five movie villains I despise. Darth Vader does not count even though he is evil, his intentions are not always to hurt or cause pain and he can choke people by putting his index finger to his thumb and that is just cool. Freddy Krueger does not count because in a sick way I kind of pull for him just so I can hear stupid one-liners. The villains for this list must be unlikable.

5) Principal Vernon (The Breakfast Club)-What a douche! I’m a swell guy he says. I say I hate you from the bottom of my soul.

4) Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest)-Louise Fletcher was scary as hell in this role. There was nothing likable about Nurse Ratched. Poor Chief. I’m sad just thinking about this movie. What a colossal bitch!

3) Captain Vidal (Pan’s Labyrinth)-Seriously scary and mean. Whiskey pouring through a hole in his cheek still haunts me. He is the vacuum that sucked the imagination out of our hero. I detested him from the first scene.

2)King Edward Longshanks (Braveheart)-Homophobe! He was not a nice character. I wanted to put on a kilt and cut him up by the end of this one. It was great scene when it was whispered into his ear that his heir would have the bloodline of William Wallace. FREEDOM!

1)Ivan Drago (Rocky IV)-Yeah, you’ll dispute this, but remember how much we all hated the Russians in the 80’s. We were taught to loathe anything Moscow. He was so clever with his words too, If he dies, he dies. Good one Drago. Here are some blue jeans and a loaf of bread, go have fun at the Kremlin. I’m going to run up a mountain and shout your name.

Totally Tubular

The 80’s were a decade of “unique clothing” styles, synthesized music, and the golden age of video games. Being a child of the 80’s meant that your floor was littered with Transformers, GI Joe’s, and the occasional Ewok. Pac-Man Fever was running rampant and Strawberry Shortcake was spreading kindness. Punky Brewster ruled the air waves along with ALF from Melmak. Madonna was like a virgin, but Michael Jackson claimed the kid was not his son. MTV actually had music videos and we looked forward to seeing cutie Martha Quinn countdown the videos of the day. This was the time when Saturday morning cartoons actually meant something. Kids would sit with a bowl of cereal and watch T.V. until 10am before going to practice or lessons. This was the 80’s and in its own subtle way it was special.
Hollywood sees the 80’s a chance to reinvent the decade. Knight Rider will once again play this fall on NBC. Transformers was a huge theatrical success. GI Joe is on its way to theaters and Atari games can now be played via a joystick that connects directly to the television. Personally, I love(d) the shows and movies of the 1980’s. So, what will the time machine of Hollywood bring back to us?

Today’s Roar is dedicated to the 1980’s and the rumblings of bringing back some classics. I do not necessarily agree with reinventing the wheel, but I did enjoy certain things about the decade.
Things that were cool long ago…

5) V Mini-Series-The geniuses in Hollywood have a script in place to make a big budget movie. The series was one of my favorites and still ranks as one of the highest rated shows of all time.

Why I loved it?-It was cool as a kid to see Lizards harvesting humans, but as I got older, it was easy to see the allegory to Nazi Germany.

4) The Goonies-This was the adventure of all adventures. It involved riding bikes and searching for treasure. There is a script that is FINALLY in place to go ahead with a sequel or a reimaging. Some things are meant to be left untouched.

Why I loved it?-Imagination, Imagination, Imagination. I totally immersed myself into the role of the kids following the legend of Chester Copperpot. I still ride my bike and look for lost ships.

3)GI Joe-Let’s take GI Joe and put the movie into the hands of Mummy director, Stephen Sommers. This is a bad idea. I think the studio execs forgot that knowing is half the battle.

Why I loved it?-Swivel Grip, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the anatomically advantaged Baroness. The cartoon was the same episode or storyline everyday, but I watched religously at 4pm. It was very cool to get my “by mail” Sgt. Slaughter.

2)Fantasy Movies-Legend, Labyrinth, and the Dark Crystal. There is a supposed sequel to the Dark Crystal and it seems to have been in production forever. Genddy Tartakovsky will direct, so hope remains for its 2009 release.

Why I loved it? Tim Curry as the Lord of Darkness still scares the crap out of me. The world of The Dark Crystal seemed existent back then. Henson’s world still has an impact and Gefflings might be real.

1)Classic Cinema-The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, ET, Back to the Future, The Terminator and on and on…

Why I loved it? These movies are classics. They have tried to duplicate the success of each of these films in some way or another over the years. Do remember Darth Vader’s admission to Luke, the FIRST time Elliot’s bike levitates with ET in his basket, Han thawing from carbonite, and Arnold saying, “I’ll be Back” before ramming a truck through the front door of the police station?

Times to Remember

Bruce Springsteen said it best, “Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of, well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister but boring stories of glory days.” This is so true when it comes to getting older and realizing that your best days are probably behind you. We mistakenly try to live vicariously through our children instead of just letting our children live. We remember a time when we were kids rooting and cheering men playing a game on television. Now, we are men cheering and jeering “kids” playing the same game. Oh, how times have changed. Yet, when it comes to the “glory days” I feel that I am better off now. I have, like many of you, realized that I am better equipped to deal with the rigors of life. However, I still look back fondly of the days when I could actually throw a baseball and not have the need to pop four Aleve after “stretching” out my arm. Gone are those days when I could play anything for 8 or 9 hours straight. Gone are the days of chasing pretty girls or in my case, any girl that would have me. I now refer to these days as the best days of my life, but my memory still holds on to the “glory days.”

Today’s Roar features movies of those whose fire has been extinguished by time.

5) The Best of Times-Kurt Russell returns to his “glory days” as a high school quarterback to avenge the heartbreaking loss of a cross town rival. Robin Williams manipulates him into one last shot at glory. It is still hard to watch because Williams playing a wide receiver is not plausible, but he is from ORK…

4) Rocky Balboa-The more times I watch this movie the better it becomes. Rocky has been put out to pasture and his sidekick Pauly is right beside him. Rocky has to go out on his on terms. I love the tone of this movie because ageism does exist and when have you finally earned the right to do the things you love?

3) American Beauty-This movie epitomizes mid-life crisis. Kevin Spacey is driven to look, feel, and act young. He needs to recreate a time in his life when things were simple and everything felt new. And just when you finally have your epiphany….blam!

2) The Hustler-Eddie Felson is the hot new pool player trying to learn and knock off Minnesota Fats. This is a classic not to be outdone by the remake The Color of Money. Never confuse talent for experience. Gleason and Newman star and it is reminder of what great actor Jackie Gleason truly was.

1) Kingpin-Roy Munson, con-man, alcoholic, and bowler. His days of bowling are long gone and it doesn’t help that he has but one hand…creepy! I am above the law!