The Daily Roar

Quick Hits

2010-04-30T08:20:00.002-04:00

The Blind Side

An entertaining film filled with schmaltzy scenes of compassion and moving characters. I was left with the feeling that had this been a Spike Lee film we may have gotten a grittier feel to the streets of Memphis and the true aura of Michael Oher would have filled the screen, however we get an above average rising from the ashes movie. All credit in this movie belongs to Sandra Bullock who plays Leigh Anne Tuohy, the woman who took in the lost soul of Michael Oher and helped transform him into a premier NFL lineman. This movie felt unexplored especially the illegal recruiting scandal that followed Oher to Ole Miss. This was a good movie with a great performance, but as a sport enthusiast, I felt there is a better movie there than was put on screen.

Avatar

Seeing this in 3D was like being on a three hour ride at Disney World. The story is sometimes lacking and uneven, but the visceral overload that hits your senses carries the movie. Cameron's message of environmental conciousness is clearly heard. The tree of life was reminder of the old tales of Sidhartha becoming one with a fig tree as he contemplated his spirtual being. Although this movie is not quite a spiritual epiphany it is beautifully shot and inspiring as far as fantasy films go. As Cameron cashes in on this billion dollar film, he is also planning its sequel which will explore the sea of Pandora. Now that sounds entertaining.

Twilight: New Moon

It is hard to embrace vampires and werewolves when they are so EMO. The books are meant to be romantic and the movies are love stories. I respect the material on the level that there are no vampire rules. There aren't wooden stakes and garlic littering the landscape, but the love story between Bella and Edward just isn't portrayed with enough angst. I will admit to being creeped out a bit by his stalkerish behavior. Bella should run at every possible chance, but her love for pasty white dudes keeps her around. New Moon is a far better effort than Twilight, but I'm left wondering if glossing these movies over was a good choice for its legions of devoted fans. Bill Condon has signed on to direct Breaking Dawn and I believe they have found a director who should have been there from the beginning.

Precious

2010-04-29T10:15:00.002-04:00

There have been very few movies in my lifetime that have had evoked an emotional response as powerful as the one felt after viewing Precious. I saw Precious several weeks ago and its lasting memory is nearly impossible to shake. Precious isn’t a movie about sexual abuse, alcoholism, socio-economics, or trapped urbanites struggling for their piece of the pie(although all elements are present). It is a movie basted and boiled in ignorance. Do not expect a climax where all problems are solved and hope glimmers as the credits roll. This story, this movie is painfully intimate.

Clareece “Precious” Jones (Gabourey Sidibe) is a character that is rarely seen or heard. She is for all purposes, a survivor. A survivor of her abusive mother, a survivor of her sexually abusive father, and a survivor of her own ignorance. When we first meet her she has yet to realize the weight of her life thus far and why would she realize such a thing when her own mother (Mo’nique) tells her she is of no consequence? At 16 she has lived many lifetimes and endured pain that most directors (Lee Daniels) would not even touch on screen. There are times in life when we hear of places like the places depicted in this movie, but we think they do not exist until we are standing in them. This is one of those cases. Every minute spent with Precious is painful and scary. The thought that cruelty exists on this level is unsettling. The thought that compassion and love doesn’t exist is just disheartening. The thought that ignorance is a prevailing intellectual response in Precious’s world, well that is just the work of the demented and demonic mind of her parental upbringing. Precious does escape into her mind from time to time and imagines herself a model or movie star. Through these scenes we get the message of hope and the realization that the mind goes into deep protective mode when faced with a great amount of trauma. However, as a viewer hope is fleeting from the first 20 minutes of the film, but we are forced to hang on because if Precious can, we can. We know from the opening scenes that we are going to be led somewhere overwrought with sadness and fear. We know that by the end, this is going to hurt like hell.

Ms. Jones (Mo’nique) isn’t the type of villain you are accustomed to seeing. Her entire life is based on her own ignorance. It is ignorance that will be her undoing and ignorance that has diseased her daughter. She isn’t Darth Vader, Freddy Krueger, or Satan. She is worse because her purpose is to inflict as much emotional torment upon Precious as humanly possible. She is so utterly “fucked up”(pardon the language, but there is no other way to convey her character) as a reality based character that it turns my stomach to think about her. She manipulates at every opportunity. She is a dream stealer and hopeless as a human. Can she be saved? No. There is no religion, self-help group or pill that can change ignorance in its purest form. She is the old cliché, “hurt people, hurt people.” It is, in all honesty, the most disturbed I have ever been watching a character on screen. Her performance will never to be forgotten.

In all great movies there is “THE SCENE” that puts the movie over the top. In Precious it involves a social worker played by Mariah Carey, Ms. Jones, and Precious. The now stronger Precious and her mother are to talk about the abuse and for once put all the cards on the table. The tale of the sexual abuse and subsequent stories that ensue are mind-shattering, heartbreaking tales that seem hard to hear, but had to be impossible to survive. Mo’nique’s performance in this one scene solidify her as an actual accomplished actress. She talks of dreams and redemption and for a split second she shows to be human, but her transgressions cannot be forgiven by viewers and will not be forgiven by Precious.

This is not a movie to be watched because you are looking for escapists fantasies. This isn’t a love story or drama with a sweeping soundtrack featuring Taylor Swift love songs. This movie is the boiling down of raw emotions. It’s shaking hands with emotional pain and it is a damn exhausting film. Precious has an imprint on my mind that I’m sure will become fossilized. Watching Precious walk away with her two children at the end was a story in itself. Like Precious Jones, I believe I am ignorant enough to have hope.

Don't Cry Out Loud

2009-07-22T13:51:00.002-04:00

Emotions are a big part of movies. There are those movies that make us laugh, those that get the adrenal glands pumping, those that make us think, and those that make us cry. Today’s roar will focus on movies that bring about a salty discharge from the eye. For guys, it is probably the sports movie with the kid who will never play Division 1 football, or the action driven flick where the hero says goodbye to his wife as he rushes off to save the planet from a giant meteor. For gals, it is the best friend movie, where two girls grew up in the same town and the best friend develops cancer only to die leaving behind a child. Either way, we put ourselves through the emotionally ringer time and time again and call it entertainment. Today, I give you what I consider to be tear worthy films.

5) King Kong (1933) I was nine when I saw this for the first time and I was enthralled by Faye Wray and Bruce Cabot, but the big hairy ape had me at his first roar. When he dies at the end of this movie, I was forever moved and could not understand why anybody would shoot something so cuddly.

4)Braveheart (1995)Has there ever been a movie that makes you hate the English more than Braveheart? Freedom!!!!!

3)The Fox and the Hound (1981) This is Disney right? This is supposed to be upbeat with songs and happy endings, right? No. Two childhood friends forced to be enemies and the story goes from there. The ending of this movie provokes tears that literally spit from my eyes. I think I need a tissue just thinking about it.

2) Schindler’s List(1993)/Hotel Rwanda(2004)Movies about mass genocide are enough to get me going, but throw in Liam Neeson (Oscar Schindler) and Don Cheadle(Paul Rusesabagina) and you have two of the finest movies on the subject ever made.

1) Field of Dreams (1989)Are you serious? To have a catch with your deceased father once again makes me cry like a baby. Crying is actually not a good word to use, it is more like sobbing. If you build it, the tears will come.

Snape Bitten

2009-07-21T11:17:00.002-04:00

It is no secret that the Half-Blood Prince is the most important book in the series. It is the chapter where the events that will set the tone for the future of the world of Hogwarts hang in the balance. It is where the one of the most iconic book characters of all time meets certain doom. It is where director, David Yates must rise to the occasion and put a movie on screen that carries the sexual angst and raw emotion that exists in the book. The Half-Blood Prince is where David Yates must prevent himself from making a film word for word remake of the novel. He must create his own film while keeping the source close to his heart. Yates has succeeded in making the best looking Harry Potter to date and yet, there is something missing. Chunks of the story where not told and things added for “Hollywood effect.” This is not a detriment to his Harry Potter, but it takes some getting use to as we watch for the two and half hour running time.

The Half-Blood Prince is about a lingering fear that the world as we know it, will fall into darkness. It is about an unfinished war that was started by adults and must be finished by their children. The tasks are insurmountable at times and our protagonist, Harry, is not the tortured soul he once was. He is now accepted that it is he that must save the people he loves. It is he who must convince everyone that James and Lilly Potter did not die in vain. This is Harry’s story. He has grown and so have his friends and even they know that they must finish what has been started so long ago. There is wonderful, even effortless interaction between Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe), Hermione Granger (Emma Watson), and Ron Weasley(Rupert Grint). Yates seems to make this part of the Half-Blood Prince work to his advantage. The characters like the fans of the series have grown into late teens who suffer from raging hormones and identity crisis’. This is where this movie works best, when its characters have time to go into exposition about the events surrounding an oncoming doom.

This Harry Potter is stylistically better than the previous five and Hogwarts looks aged. The magic and wonder of just going to the school is gone. The school has become a symbol for wizards and witches to defend against the mounting armies of Voldemort. It cannot be said enough, this movie carries the feeling of foreboding throughout. It is becoming a dark and lonely place as the lines are divided between good and evil.

Yates has improved greatly as a director. This is now his third Harry Potter film and he is set to do the final film (two parts). Like Rowling, he has improved as the series has moved forward. However, he has taken some liberties with the stories and true fans of the novels may not be delighted by his deletion of key parts, but it is important to remember that film is its own medium. The seventh (and eighth) film should prove to be a monumental swan song for Yates as well as his cast. When the credits role in 2010 the Phoenix will cry yet again as our beloved Harry Potter says goodbye.

Old School Review: Let MeLook on You with My Own Eyes

2009-02-21T12:36:00.004-05:00

The line outside the Towne Four movie theater was about a half-mile. I was an 8 year old boy standing with ticket in hand as the usher counted us and moved us forward. As far as I knew this would be the last Star Wars movie I would see. My young mind was still trying to grasp Darth Vader being Luke's father and the fact the Han Solo was now in Carbonite form. I remember holding five-dollars for popcorn and soda and hoping to see the Galactic Empire crumble as my childhood hero, Luke Skywalker, finally realized his destiny. I knew that all would be well with Return of the Jedi because I looked at some photos in Time Magazine and saw these cute, teddy bear characters standing in a forest. I was perplexed to find a photo of Leia and Luke dressed in camouflage gear. What could this mean? Had they gone G.I Joe? Were these "bears" an enemy of the Rebellion or victims of the iron fisted rule of the Empire? So many questions to be answered. I sat in the theater next to my childhood buddy and his father purchased a bucket of popcorn for us to share. Even though I was a heavyset kid, I could care less about the popcorn. I needed answers and they had better come in bunches. The 20th Century Fox logo appeared and I disappeared into a galaxy far, far, away...

Return of the Jedi is a culmination of all the things we love about Star Wars. For an 8 year-old boy this movie was damn near flawless. Let's examine it's awesome power.

First: The first scene in Jedi is terrifying. Darth Vader states that the Emperor is "not as forgiving as I am." Holy crap! Not as forgiving as you? You cut your own son's hand off! What happens if refused to clean his room or take out the garbage? Vader was scary and my heart palpitated at the very thought of this Emperor guy.

Second: Jabba's Palace is the greatest 30 minutes of cinema I've ever seen. I love the eclectic decoration, the seedy inhabitants, Jabba in his gluttonous glory, Leia in a bikini and in Boush disguise, defrosting Han Solo, the dreaded Rancor, the trip to the Sarlac Pit, and Lando's redemption.

Third: The Emperor's arrival. I still have nightmares of ROTJ Palpatine. He frightens me. Let's put it into perspective, Darth Vader fears this dude.

Fourth: Endor is so freakin' awesome that it is tough for me to contain myself. I'll concede the Ewoks to the adults, but when I was a kid, I loved them. I flat out will not deny that the Ewoks are still cool. These primitive, furry, little bastards took down "the man" with sling shots, rocks,timber and Ewok ingenuity. The Ewoks would make Francis Marion proud. The speeder bike sequence was state of the art entertainment. Why they don't have a ride at Disney based off of this is beyond me. C-3po using his "divine influence" is also a scene not to be trifled with.

Fifth: Lando in the Falcon is unsettling, but the space battle took my breath away. Watching a Star Destroyer crash into the unfinished Death Star is just priceless. Admiral Ackbar is the man, well sort of.

Sixth: Will look become angry enough to strike down the Emperor? After all, he does have is lightsaber. Green hits red and here we go. Luke shows how much is skills have developed, yet, Vader insists on giving verbal twists of the nipples. "So you have a twin sister..."

Seventh: "So be it, Jedi." Enough said.

Finally: Vader finds redemption. Leia reveals to Han that Luke his her brother. Chewbacca is still awesome and nothing beats Ewoks playing Rock Band with stormtrooper helmets.

For me, Jedi isn't the best Star Wars, but it is the most fun and it ended the trilogy with such imaginative pageantry. I will always be fond of Return of the Jedi as it has taken its place at my side.

Super Daddy

2009-02-18T09:57:00.004-05:00

The seventeen year-old Kim is the pride and joy of her father, the retired agent Bryan Mills that left the secret service to stay near Kim in California. Kim lives with her mother Lenore and her wealthy stepfather Stuart; she convinces the reluctant Bryan to sign an authorization to travel to Paris with her friend Amanda. When they arrive, they share a cab with the stranger Peter and Amanda tells to him that they are alone in Paris. When Bryan succeeds in contacting his daughter, she tells that criminals have just break in the spot and they are kidnapped by an Albanese gang of human trafficking. Bryan promises in the phone to kill the kidnapper of his daughter and immediately travels to Paris to find Kim and chase the criminals (IMDB).
Mills is played by Liam Neeson and if weren't for him being cast in this movie this could have been a disaster. Taken is a sugar high. It is entertaining, but not fulfilling. The problem with Nesson's character is that he dispatches of his enemies with such ease. He is never beaten or battered and that makes him less believable as a character. Maggie Grace plays his daughter and plays the typical dumb teenager. Luc Besson directs (Transporter Trilogy) and his action scenes are quite good, but the explanation of how and why these characters exist in this seedy underworld are unanswered. The strong point of the film is Nesson's statements of foreshadowing. He is still capable of carrying the most average films. Overall, I was pleased , but not Taken.

P.S.
I was fortunate enough to see the European release and the violence was dialed up a bit.

Crystal Clear

2009-02-17T16:27:00.006-05:00

Jason Vorhees is our modern Frankenstein. He is the equivalent of the old Universal Monsters from yesteryear. It always amazed me that he could lumber around the forest and catch even the nimblest of prey by just taking his time. Walls, doors, brick were always treated as paper as he would rumble through them effortlessly and kill a naked, screaming woman. I look back on the previous Friday the 13th movies fondly because for me they were an indulgence or a nice piece of expensive chocolate that would be enjoyed, but easily forgotten. I had gotten it through my head that if given the chance, I could outrun, outthink and maneuver the land version of a Great White shark. You see, watching Jason movies as always been safe. There was never anything to REALLY be afraid of until now…
The newest “reboot” of franchise would prove to be a tricky task for director Marcus Nispel (Texas Chainsaw Massacre). He had to once again instill fear and make us afraid of Jason. This wouldn’t be easy given the abysmal remakes of Halloween and Prom Night. Those movies made the mistake of paying far too much homage to the original material. No, Nispel had to make Friday the 13th HIS movie. I guess the most glaring difference is the intelligence of Jason. He is like the Jason Bourne of psychotic, homicidal, mass murderers. I don’t know if the masses prefer lumbering, semi-retarded Jason or not. In this version he baits and catches. Crystal Lake his truly his and he has made it a point to be the lone proprietor of the land surrounding the lake. He has hidden trenches, knows where the electrical boxes are located, and even seems to be running his own underground morgue. Yeah, this Jason is different. So different in fact that instead of walking after you, he runs like a sprinter with machete for a baton. He is lightening quick, but not in a supernatural fashion. Gone are the days of his ability to just appear wherever and whenever. No, this Jason is stealthy, but in a way where he plays fair. He’ll match his murderous skills against your will for survival any day. He does don the hockey mask to cover up his deformed face and has incredible knowledge of how things work. A little known fact about Jason is that he obviously studied horticulture because he grows his own pot. Yes, you read that correctly, he knows how to grow weed. He baits unsuspecting, horny, college kids into the woods to find his crop and when they do, well, you know. Jason obviously does not partake in the smoking of the weed hence his anger issues. Like I said, this Jason is different.
Some things haven’t changed with Crystal Lake over the years. For instance, the police force is still doing a piss poor job of catching the greatest mass murderer of our time. Women are still performing gratuitous sex acts that are probably illegal in most states. Branches still trip people as they run in the dark through the woods, and drunken parties are the rage despite the fact that mass killings are status quo. But I digress, Crystal Lake has never looked better. There is true production value with Friday the 13th. The acting is on par with that of the previous 10 films and the killings are just as over the top as one might expect. I liked this Friday for putting fear back into the mythos of Jason. He isn’t just a caricature, but a killer.

Terminator Salvation

2009-01-03T19:26:00.003-05:00

Christian Bale is back again fighting baddies in Terminator Salvation. McG will direct this post apocalyptic feature which will focus on a new character, Marcus Wright whose last memory is being on death row. Connor played by Bale must decide whether Wright is friend or foe.

Success: This could be a great popcorn flick with an interesting story. Furthering the story could be a new jump start to the franchise and Bale could do justice the John Connor Character.

Failure: The fear of the Terminator is gone. Remember how scary it was to see the unstoppable force in the original? Cameron had trouble endorsing McG has a director. James must still be riding high from Titanic success.

Tomorrow: Watchmen

Revolutionary Road

2009-01-02T08:03:00.003-05:00

Sam Mendes (American Beauty) directs this drama about a marriage of two people from the 1950's starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicaprio. The two play Frank and April Wheeler who are two people trying to raise a family in New England. It is a movie built around the resentment of lost hopes and dreams as two people fall into the monotonous daily routines of life. Revolutionary Road opens January 15th.

Success: It is about time that we acknowledge Leonardo Dicaprio as an accomplished actor. Dicaprio has come very far as has his range. Winslet has fine tuned her game over the years and in my belief, has become the quintessential actress. Sam Mendes directs and if American Beauty weren't enough of a pedigree then I can't see this film failing in the drama genre.

Failure: This movie was done poorly with Michelle Pffiefer and Bruce Willis's The Story of Us. This could turn into an overly dramatic affair without a glimmer of light. Heartbreaking movies don't always make the best entertainment when overwrought with discontent.

Next: Terminator Salvation

Year One

2008-12-31T08:51:00.003-05:00

Year one is the latest fingerprint of a Judd Apatow produced movie. Harold Ramis is directing and helped pen the script. The movie takes place in biblical times where Michael Cera (Superbad) and Jack Black are out casted from their village and wander through some important religious events. Some in Hollywood have said this is going to be a bit controversial and that is why it has been such a tight lipped project. The movie is due out in theaters June 19th.

Success: Apatow is producing with a capable comedic director in Ramis. Jack Black can be hilarious at times. The premise has been compared to Monty Python's Life of Brian which is a cult classic in terms of comedy. Always look on the bright side of life....

Failure: Black takes chances and often misses with roles. Michael Cera is tad overrated has a young actor even though his performance in Juno was commendable. If this movie hits too many religious marks it may get crucified along with its script.

Tomorrow: Revolutionary Road starring Leonardo Decaprio and the ever beautiful Kate Winslet.

Gems of the New Year

2008-12-30T08:31:00.004-05:00

2009 of could prove to be a very lucrative year for the cinema. The economic struggles of the world could lead people to the box office in flocks in search of some sort of escapist fantasies. There will be many characters that will be revisited this year such as Harry Potter and Optimus Prime. Judd Apatow will try to continue is fail safe comic formula and the heavyweights of Hollywood will do and battle in several films. The comic book genre will again get an influx of films that will grace us again with X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Watchmen. Over the next few days I will examine upcoming movies for the new year and tell you why they might fail or succeed. Today's Roar is dedicated to the theme of "hope" for 2009.

First up, Public Enemies starring Christian Bale and Johnny Depp.

This is a Michael Mann production which will be released this summer. Bale will play Melvin Purvis the agent that tracked and eventually caught criminal John Dillinger played by Depp.

Success: This movie could be a classic. Both Bale and Depp are more than capable of making this an Untouchables like film. Johnny Depp's range as an actor is limitless and Bale seems to be the go to hero these days. 1930's crime dramas are appealing to those who yearn for good yarns from yesteryear.

Failure: Mann's Miami Vice was just flat out boring. I am yawning just thinking about it. If Bale is just a big time actor put into a role that minimizes his abilities next to Depp's than this could be a disaster. Public Enemies is almost too promising much like American Gangster and Road to Perdition.

Tomorrow: Year One starring Jack Black and Michael Cera

In Case You Missed It Two: No Country for Old Men and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

2008-09-06T20:44:00.004-04:00

No Country for Old Men is quirky ride that is both captivating and frustrating. It is difficult to see this movie as the best picture of 2007 because it feels incomplete. Joel and Ethan Coen have done something magnificent for three fourths of a film. The movie is shot beautifully and the performances of Josh Brolin (Llellwyn Moss) and Javier Bardem’s haunting portrayal of Antone Chigurh are well done. There are so many things to love about this movie, but for most of you, you’ll end up hating it. It feels like a lost investment.
Josh Brolin plays the “everyman” as Moss and at first it seems apparent that the Coens want him to be the lead protagonist. He “stumbles” upon two million dollars after a violent drug deal has gone wrong in the Texas badlands. Moss’s dilemma is about “what to do with the money?” He decides to put his young wife into early retirement and keep the money. What ensues is a cat and mouse chase between Moss and a psychotic hitman named Antone Chigurh. Brolin is put into some very pulse pounding situations and proves to be a more than serviceable adversary for a professional like Chigurh. Brolin plays Moss as someone who is resourceful in life and death situations. This makes for some the most intense scenes on screen you’ll ever see.
Javier Bardem’s Antone Chigurh is frightening as a villain. He lacks a conscious and has one of the more unique ways of killing a victim. He to is resourceful and plays by a different set of rules. Bardem deserves credit for creating a character that is involving and truly scary. He is representative of something we cannot understand. Chigurh is the Coens greatest achievement in this movie. Bardem’s Chigurh turns a quarter into a life changing event for victims and this makes for a scene that is beyond doubt a classic cinematic moment.
Tommy Lee Jones plays the cop who is at the end of his career and is “blessed” with the unenviable task of hunting down both men. He is the “old man” in the title and want nothing more to end his working life on a high note by solving the mystery behind the missing two million dollars. Jones plays a role we are familiar with. The fugitives name however is not Dr. Richard Kimble. Jones is probably the most interesting character in the film, but at times his portrayal is at times, disjointed. There are some scenes between Jones and his deputy that are true gems.
So, what is wrong with No Country for Old Men? The ending is so frustrating that it is impossible to “love” this movie. I know the movie is based off of the book by Cormac McCarthy and a metaphor for putting the old working class people out to pasture after they have served there use to society. Jones speaks in metaphors in the final act and frankly it doesn’t work. Metaphors are a LITERARY DEVICE saved for books. Film-goers invest two hours and are rewarded with a metaphor. If they wanted that they could have picked up a copy of the book. The reason this movie is disappointing is that it is EXCELLENT for the most part, but leaves viewers feeling empty by the end credits. There is No Country for unfinished movies.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry is a complete disgrace to hetero and homosexuals. I want to say that I really like Kevin James and I think Adam Sandler is a very talented actor. They have a chance to really make a statement here and drop the proverbial ball. This is NOT an impactful drama or a comedy. Those of you that laughed should be ashamed. This film is most offensive towards intelligent heterosexuals.
Sandler and James play New York City firefighters. James plays the family man who lost his wife too early and is raising two young children. Sandler is Mr. February in the firehouse yearly calendar of “sexy” firemen. He is the womanizing party animal. James and his family are denied benefits that his children seem to be entitled to if he dies on the job, but because of his deceased wife and single status the city of New York in their infinite wisdom has revoked his benefits unless he can prove he is married. He enters into what is supposed to be the holy union of marriage with his best friend. The premise is that this arrangement will allow him to take care of his children if he dies on the job. Sandler reluctantly agrees to marry his best friend in Canada.
This movie fails miserably to be funny, poignant, or tolerant of gays. It is a very insincere movie that pokes fun at every gay stereotype. There isn’t one masculine gay character throughout the film. Ving Rhames plays the supposedly closeted tough firemen. There is a shower scene in which Sandler and James’s relationship has been disclosed to the firehouse and the soap gets dropped. All of the straight guys refuse to get the soap because it is a known fact that all gays will mount you if you drop the soap in the shower. All of us straight guys know that to be a fact. Rhames enters the shower and the commotion stops as he picks up the soap and in a very feminine way starts to sing “I’m every Woman.” I guess I was supposed to laugh, but I was so offended and truly embarrassed to be straight.
Enter the beautiful Jessica Biel as James’s lawyer and the female love interest of Sandler. She is purposely put into this movie to remind us that we are not gay. That by watching a movie about homosexuality we will not catch the “Gay.” Biel’s brother in the film happens to be gay and she does a lot for the advancement of gay rights and that is the problem with Chuck and Larry. It isn’t about gay rights, it is about the right to make fun of gays and turn a profit of the backside of a big star in Sandler. It so happens that Biel’s brother is, you guessed it, a flamboyant gay character.
Chuck and Larry spends most of its time telling us how gay we are not. Sandler beds Hooters girls and an ugly Eastern European maid. Dan Akroyd has a bit part as the fire chief and gives a “lesson” on being tolerant about other lifestyles at the end of the film. The movie had a chance to address a real problem in a comical way, but instead becomes and insensitive piece of gay bashing worthy of the title hate crime.

Just In Case You Missed It: Hard Candy (2005)

2008-08-15T12:10:00.004-04:00

Hard Candy is psychological thriller that follows a different set of rules. It is character study of the things we want to do and don’t because of the social and legal ramifications. Pedophilia is a very scary place to take a trip to in any type of art. It is the embodiment of a sickness. Pedophiles are people we want to take off of the street by any means necessary. When we watch a newscast and hear a story of a child predator in our community it ignites a rage in most of us. We talk about the harm we would like to inflict on the perpetrator, but do not have the resources or the courage to follow through. Ellen Page (Juno) plays 14 year-old Haley Stark, an intelligent, well-spoken child who doesn’t fit the typical victim profile She is self-confident and very self-aware. Patrick Wilson (Watchmen) plays Jeff Kohlver a 32 year-old photographer. He is good looking, educated, and like Hayley, does not fit the profile of a child predator. This movie is really about two characters, one doing the expected and the other doing the unexpected. Kohlver lures young Haley to his apartment and before you know it there is some awkward sexual tension between the two. Kohlver cannot see past his dark desires to see the plan that Hayley has plotted for him. Haley actually is on a revenge mission to avenge the rape and death of another young girl whom she suspects was murdered by Kohlver. After sharing a few screwdrivers together, Kohlver finds himself to be drugged and soon passes out only to awake tied to a chair. This is the beginning of two great performances and Page is actually better in this role pre-Juno. Hayley maps out her plan for Kohlver and divulges how she entrapped him. The movie succeeds here because she gives the audience an explanation for her motives. Unlike most thrillers, it isn’t as simple as it seems. What we get as an audience is some “eye covering” moments involving torture in the form psychological warfare and castration. It is not done without cause and we soon start to feel for Hayley. She is just fourteen and what horror did this man inflict upon her friend to drive her to these extreme measures? The conversations in this film are real and heartfelt. Some will say Hayley is a character built out of man hate. I say she is hero who stands up for all the victims of sex-abuse who cannot stand-up for themselves. Wilson’s Kohlver is extremely manipulative and he plays his role perfectly. It may be difficult for some, but taking a piece of Hard Candy is well worth it.

Villians!

2008-08-14T17:03:00.007-04:00

True on –screen villains are characters that we despise and cannot wait to see them meet their final doom. There has to be a true hatred for a villain to exist. He or she is the character that gives you actual feelings of anger as you watch them plot and plan the demise of a hero or protagonist. A villain is a portrait into the darkest recesses of the human psyche. They are representative of everything ugly about life. Their personalities can be best described as unexplained. A true villain does not have a clear past. It is the one thing they hide so that vulnerability cannot be found. His or her intentions must be muddled at best. They are lost demons roaming freely and written into scripts to further an understanding of our main characters. They should not be caricatures or liked, and most importantly they should not garner any sympathy from the audience.

Today’s Roar will focus on my list of top the top five movie villains I despise. Darth Vader does not count even though he is evil, his intentions are not always to hurt or cause pain and he can choke people by putting his index finger to his thumb and that is just cool. Freddy Krueger does not count because in a sick way I kind of pull for him just so I can hear stupid one-liners. The villains for this list must be unlikable.

5) Principal Vernon (The Breakfast Club)-What a douche! I’m a swell guy he says. I say I hate you from the bottom of my soul.

4) Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest)-Louise Fletcher was scary as hell in this role. There was nothing likable about Nurse Ratched. Poor Chief. I’m sad just thinking about this movie. What a colossal bitch!

3) Captain Vidal (Pan’s Labyrinth)-Seriously scary and mean. Whiskey pouring through a hole in his cheek still haunts me. He is the vacuum that sucked the imagination out of our hero. I detested him from the first scene.

2)King Edward Longshanks (Braveheart)-Homophobe! He was not a nice character. I wanted to put on a kilt and cut him up by the end of this one. It was great scene when it was whispered into his ear that his heir would have the bloodline of William Wallace. FREEDOM!

1)Ivan Drago (Rocky IV)-Yeah, you’ll dispute this, but remember how much we all hated the Russians in the 80’s. We were taught to loathe anything Moscow. He was so clever with his words too, If he dies, he dies. Good one Drago. Here are some blue jeans and a loaf of bread, go have fun at the Kremlin. I’m going to run up a mountain and shout your name.

Totally Tubular

2008-08-12T09:51:00.004-04:00

The 80’s were a decade of “unique clothing” styles, synthesized music, and the golden age of video games. Being a child of the 80’s meant that your floor was littered with Transformers, GI Joe’s, and the occasional Ewok. Pac-Man Fever was running rampant and Strawberry Shortcake was spreading kindness. Punky Brewster ruled the air waves along with ALF from Melmak. Madonna was like a virgin, but Michael Jackson claimed the kid was not his son. MTV actually had music videos and we looked forward to seeing cutie Martha Quinn countdown the videos of the day. This was the time when Saturday morning cartoons actually meant something. Kids would sit with a bowl of cereal and watch T.V. until 10am before going to practice or lessons. This was the 80’s and in its own subtle way it was special.
Hollywood sees the 80’s a chance to reinvent the decade. Knight Rider will once again play this fall on NBC. Transformers was a huge theatrical success. GI Joe is on its way to theaters and Atari games can now be played via a joystick that connects directly to the television. Personally, I love(d) the shows and movies of the 1980’s. So, what will the time machine of Hollywood bring back to us?

Today’s Roar is dedicated to the 1980’s and the rumblings of bringing back some classics. I do not necessarily agree with reinventing the wheel, but I did enjoy certain things about the decade.
Things that were cool long ago…

5) V Mini-Series-The geniuses in Hollywood have a script in place to make a big budget movie. The series was one of my favorites and still ranks as one of the highest rated shows of all time.

Why I loved it?-It was cool as a kid to see Lizards harvesting humans, but as I got older, it was easy to see the allegory to Nazi Germany.

4) The Goonies-This was the adventure of all adventures. It involved riding bikes and searching for treasure. There is a script that is FINALLY in place to go ahead with a sequel or a reimaging. Some things are meant to be left untouched.

Why I loved it?-Imagination, Imagination, Imagination. I totally immersed myself into the role of the kids following the legend of Chester Copperpot. I still ride my bike and look for lost ships.

3)GI Joe-Let’s take GI Joe and put the movie into the hands of Mummy director, Stephen Sommers. This is a bad idea. I think the studio execs forgot that knowing is half the battle.

Why I loved it?-Swivel Grip, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the anatomically advantaged Baroness. The cartoon was the same episode or storyline everyday, but I watched religously at 4pm. It was very cool to get my “by mail” Sgt. Slaughter.

2)Fantasy Movies-Legend, Labyrinth, and the Dark Crystal. There is a supposed sequel to the Dark Crystal and it seems to have been in production forever. Genddy Tartakovsky will direct, so hope remains for its 2009 release.

Why I loved it? Tim Curry as the Lord of Darkness still scares the crap out of me. The world of The Dark Crystal seemed existent back then. Henson’s world still has an impact and Gefflings might be real.

1)Classic Cinema-The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, ET, Back to the Future, The Terminator and on and on…

Why I loved it? These movies are classics. They have tried to duplicate the success of each of these films in some way or another over the years. Do remember Darth Vader’s admission to Luke, the FIRST time Elliot’s bike levitates with ET in his basket, Han thawing from carbonite, and Arnold saying, “I’ll be Back” before ramming a truck through the front door of the police station?

Times to Remember

2008-08-05T08:27:00.004-04:00

Bruce Springsteen said it best, “Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of, well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister but boring stories of glory days.” This is so true when it comes to getting older and realizing that your best days are probably behind you. We mistakenly try to live vicariously through our children instead of just letting our children live. We remember a time when we were kids rooting and cheering men playing a game on television. Now, we are men cheering and jeering “kids” playing the same game. Oh, how times have changed. Yet, when it comes to the “glory days” I feel that I am better off now. I have, like many of you, realized that I am better equipped to deal with the rigors of life. However, I still look back fondly of the days when I could actually throw a baseball and not have the need to pop four Aleve after “stretching” out my arm. Gone are those days when I could play anything for 8 or 9 hours straight. Gone are the days of chasing pretty girls or in my case, any girl that would have me. I now refer to these days as the best days of my life, but my memory still holds on to the “glory days.”

Today’s Roar features movies of those whose fire has been extinguished by time.

5) The Best of Times-Kurt Russell returns to his “glory days” as a high school quarterback to avenge the heartbreaking loss of a cross town rival. Robin Williams manipulates him into one last shot at glory. It is still hard to watch because Williams playing a wide receiver is not plausible, but he is from ORK…

4) Rocky Balboa-The more times I watch this movie the better it becomes. Rocky has been put out to pasture and his sidekick Pauly is right beside him. Rocky has to go out on his on terms. I love the tone of this movie because ageism does exist and when have you finally earned the right to do the things you love?

3) American Beauty-This movie epitomizes mid-life crisis. Kevin Spacey is driven to look, feel, and act young. He needs to recreate a time in his life when things were simple and everything felt new. And just when you finally have your epiphany….blam!

2) The Hustler-Eddie Felson is the hot new pool player trying to learn and knock off Minnesota Fats. This is a classic not to be outdone by the remake The Color of Money. Never confuse talent for experience. Gleason and Newman star and it is reminder of what great actor Jackie Gleason truly was.

1) Kingpin-Roy Munson, con-man, alcoholic, and bowler. His days of bowling are long gone and it doesn’t help that he has but one hand…creepy! I am above the law!

Hey, You Copied!

2008-07-29T13:50:00.003-04:00

Imagine if five years from now a group of Hollywood execs get together and decide to reimage a movie for a “new” generation. Imagine the movie being something classic or revered. Now imagine the execs casting the movie to “appeal” to the “new” generation. Imagine the movie being Jaws or The Godfather. Now, wipe the vomit off of your shirt, but realize this is the new direction of Hollywood. Hollywood has lost its eye for originality and the movie-goer is being asked to pay the price. It is disheartening to see the business continually head down this path. Reimaging movies is a bad idea. A good example has to be Rob Zombie’s Halloween. An abysmal film made for a “new” generation of horror fans or Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Now, I’ll get the argument that Burton is a respected director, but how many times has he dropped the proverbial “ball” recently? Need I remind you of Planet of the Apes? Reimaging a movie or idea is like repainting the Sistine Chapel because the medium used to paint it isn’t contemporary. This is a sad time in Hollywood because the copycats are lurking and ready to stand on the shoulders of the greats and ruin little slices of cinematic history. It is a matter of time before Dwayne Johnson stands on the side of vessel and says “We are going to need a bigger boat.”

Here are some “re-imagings” that have already been greenlit or already in production….

Alice in Wonderland (Alice)-My man Burton is back at it again to ruin yet another classic story. Tim, your style is one of my favorites, but when can we return to Beetlejuice or Edward Scissorhands? Please don’t mess up this classic tale. I always thought of Alice as being older too, so don’t cast Abigail Breslin. I know Johnny Depp will appear, but you couldn’t direct a new Pirate movie instead?

Friday the 13th-Do we really need to see Jason again? Really? I love horror and I love slasher flicks. I love that they were my first brush with naked boobs, but we are beyond this now. The horror movies of today lack the style of the cheap horror of the 80’s. Cha Cha Cha!

A Nightmare on Elm Street-See Above. Without Robert Englund!

The Day the Earth Stood Still-Keanu Reeves stars in this sci-fi classic. Eww!

Death Race-As if the original were awesome.

Robocop-Yup. Coming soon. I cannot wait to see this crapfest.

Adventures in Babysitting-Starring Raven Simone. Oh, the anticipation is killing me. Will Thor reappear?

Weird Science-Arrested Development creator is attached. Who will play LeBrock’s character? This movie got cooler with age.

Footloose-When I get mad, I dance! I was thinking the other day, we need another Footloose. I hope it has a poignant message like the original. RIP Chris Penn.

Surprise!

2008-07-28T08:35:00.004-04:00

It is a rainy Monday afternoon during the dog days of summer. The temperature is 99 degrees with a heat index of 105. You are hot and the beach is out of the question. You pick up the newspaper and look at moving listings because a cold theater and a matinee is just what you need. The problem is you have seen every Summer Blockbuster and nothing intrigues you to the point of excitement. You notice a couple of titles that sound familiar and may have some promise. Maybe you just need to get out of the house and cool off in chilly movie theater. You decide to take your chances and grab your car keys. When you arrive at the theater there is the scattering of patrons, but nothing monumental has been released lately so it is seemingly deserted. There is no wait for popcorn and two pimple faced ushers are discussing whether or not the have a shot of "hooking up" with Miley Cyrus. This could be a bad day, but you are determined to enjoy whatever mind numbing movie you choose. You buy your ticket and grab your popcorn and Sno-caps. The actual screening room has about ten people sprinkled about in their seats. You take your seat and two hours pass without a blink. What happened in those two hours? You were surprised beyond belief. You just found a cinematic jewel. You didn’t expect it, but it happened. You feel like a professor of archaeology and you just unearthed a great find that may change civilization. This is the power of cinema. This is the unexpected and your day out was well worth the price of admission.

Today’s Roar is dedicated to Johnny K. who gave me the idea for the blog. These are movies that caught me “off guard.” I didn’t expect much or had no expectations at all for these films. By the end of each of these movies I was pleasantly surprised. John was taken aback by American Beauty and I’m guessing the screenplay had him floored.

5) Major League-I remember thinking this would be a slapstick comedy and what I saw on screen was baseball movie with a Rocky style twist. It is one of the most quoted movies ever made and a delight for any baseball fan. I’d take a whiz on Dorn’s contract!

4) Jurassic Park-I heard about the book. I heard it was a Spielberg film, but I had no clue it was going to be fun. Jurassic Park had my heart pounding for two hours and John William’s score gave me goose bumps. “You bred raptors?”

3) Gone Baby Gone-This could have been a paint-by-numbers thriller, but it was Casey Affleck’s finest hour. It brought up one of the great moral dilemmas in cinema. I was surprised at how well this movie handled several issues. The twist was well worth the investment.

2) Blast from the Past-By all rights this movie should be deemed terrible, but I had to laugh at Christopher Walken’s portrayl of the paranoid anti-soviet father. The underground bomb shelter was kind of cool and Brendan Fraser’s ascension to the “top of the world” was interesting. This was a good movie and to say I was surprised in an understatement.

1) Hotel Rwanda-Don Cheadle was absolutely riveting in this moving, real-life drama. It was an education on genocide and raised awareness on the plight of Tutsis and Hutus. We said genocide would never happen again after World War II, however 100, 000 people were slaughtered in Rwanda in 100 days. I am still moved by this picture and in my opinion it is one of the best movies ever made. “Surprised,” doesn’t entirely convey how I felt after seeing this movie.

Oh What A Knight!

2008-07-22T10:39:00.002-04:00

“…Some men just want to watch the world burn.”-Alfred

Over the past few weeks I have read about thirty different reviews in regards to The Dark Knight. The word that I have read numerous times is “hyperbole” and the fear of each critic to use the word in their review. Some have said The Dark Knight is the greatest superhero movie of the genre. I would like to take this moment to let those critics know how very wrong they are. The Dark Knight is not one of the greatest superhero movies ever, it is one of the great MOVIES ever to be made and will go into the annals of movie making as such. I often judge a movie on whether it is re-watchable. This movie has my money for a repeat viewings and a copy of the Blu-Ray DVD and that is saying something in this age of copycat cinema. I have heard this movie being compared to The Godfather and frankly, I agree with that statement. In The Godfather not a minute of screen time is wasted on frivolous plot angles. The Dark Knight tells its story in the same manner and it does it very effectively. It would take about five viewings for me to cram in all of the reasons why this is the “perfect” movie to hyperbolize. I won’t waste your time. Instead, I’ll break it down into segments without spoiling the plot. This is going to be difficult because the story is impeccable and deserves deeper analyzing.

THE FOCUS-This isn’t a movie about Batman, The Joker, Harvey Dent, or Rachael Dawes. This movie is about Gotham and its dysfunction. In this Gotham, people die just like in any other city. People are knifed, shot with real bullets, and the attitudes of the citizens reflect that of any major American city. In this Gotham, there are no buildings taken from brightly colored comic books. The setting is tangible and familiar. It is lived in and beaten. Gotham is a reflection of our society. It is confused when the lines become blurred and in some instances hope is fleeting even with the Batman as its self proclaimed guardian. This movie isn’t about a villain in Gotham, but villains working from the outside and inside to take the city’s pride and turn in it on itself. This is the Gotham Bruce Wayne has sworn to protect. The setting of Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight is the true gem of this masterpiece.

THE JOKER- Is Heath Ledger as good as they say? He is better than they say. Ledger’s Joker deserves accolades and they would have been thrust upon him whether he was alive or not. He will get an Oscar nod and probably win. There is just no debate with his performance. His performance is the epitome of “good acting.” The amazing thing about Ledger in The Dark Knight is the script doesn’t allow him to steal the show. He doesn’t play a caricature of himself like so many other campy screen villains. This Joker is quick witted, scary, and just plain mean. He is born out of hate and the truth is there is no winning even when you have defeated him. His machinations are real and are intent on causing pain. He is the dark to the light and takes pleasure in the fact that Batman needs him. Personally, I was scared of The Joker because he has no real motives for inflicting damage. He can not be bought or bartered.

BRUCE WAYNE/BATMAN- Christian Bale’s Batman is actually the third character in his own movie. Batman is pushed to his limits several times. He is on the verge of becoming that of which he hates. Unlike any superhero before him, he must become the anti-hero without stepping over the “blurred line.” This Batman exists in our world. He isn’t invincible and is always in true danger. He is the one superhero who can be hurt and you can feel that on screen. He needs the police, politicians and his alter ego to defend the symbolism of The Dark Knight. Batman IS the people of Gotham and any villain trying to make a statement had better remember that Batman is more than man, he is a city. He is forced to make tough decisions and stick by those decisions no matter the consequences. People will die on his watch and the time to reflect on his decisions is limited. This is played with wonderful balance on screen.

HARVEY DENT- Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) is the most intriguing of the three main characters. He is an ambitious DA and is truly trying to help Gotham. He realizes the toll organized crime has taken on the city. He realizes Batman is but one man and realizes that evil always lurks in the hearts of men who seek revenge. The tale of Harvey Dent is a strong story and gives real sustenance to The Dark Knight.

It has been years since I have seen a movie as good as The Dark Knight. The credit has to go to Jonathan and Christopher Nolan. Their screenplay for the reinvention of Batman is flawless. The action sequences are very organic and have the feeling of real peril. This Batman is not Adam West or Michael Keaton. He is a man with doubts, strength, and humanity. He is a representation of the struggle to be “good” in every facet of our daily lives. In essence, the Dark Knight is us. The Dark Knight is the culmination of all parts working together on screen. It is the perfect recipe for what is the perfect movie.

Hell Yes!

2008-07-14T16:50:00.005-04:00

Inventive, imaginative, daring, self-aware, and at times awe-inspiring; are the words that best describe Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Guillermo Del Torro’s vision is something to behold. It is an array of sensations that hit you all at once. At times you will find it hard to wrap your mind around what is happening on screen. This is a new version of the “superhero genre” and in away a throw back film to glorious 1980’s fantasy cinema. Hellboy II offers something that many summer films cannot, heart. The story is quite good and truly resembles that of a bedtime story which is how the movie opens. John Hurt (Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull) tells a young Hellboy of a world long lost. A world where man was not to be trusted and as a contingency a group of elves created a Golden Army that could be controlled to rule the world if things were to get "out of hand.”

Much like Lord of the Rings, a crown divided into three parts was divided and once brought together a ruler could claim this Golden Army and have it do his bidding. This all seems to play out as the backdrop to other story arches which are just as compelling.

Del Torro and Mike Mignola (Creator of Hellboy) seem to push all of the right buttons with this film. The characters are very comfortable in their environment which seems to be produced by extremely powerful hallucinogens or just over active imaginations. It is enjoyable to see a director have fun with a film and create something that is uniquely his own. Del Torro has done this before with Pan’s Labyrinth, but Hellboy is a bit more simplistic than that film. Hellboy (Ron Pearlman) as a character is fascinating in his own right. In this movie he wants to be recognized like a Spiderman or Superman and be loved by the populace. Unfotunatley, the populace finds a red, hornless, devil not endearing. Hellboy is conflicted because he has spent his entire life defending these people from the things that they fear. He has protected them from all of the “bumps” in the darkness of night and they still refuse to embrace him and his band of misfits. It is amazing to actually see the expressions of hurt feelings on the face of an otherwise “unique” character. This is a credit to the filmmaker, who allows his hero to be the harbinger of emotion.

There are few scenes in movies that as you watch them, you know they will become classics for one reason or another. Del Torro’s Troll Market is something to marvel. It is fantastic, witty, scary, beautiful, and truly out of this world. It is Mos Eisley Cantina all over again and a truly fun time. It is homage to our childish imaginations and it is more than welcomed. There are so many creatures, monsters, trolls, and other unexplainable things that the feast for senses will leave you more than full. Hellboy says something rather poignant in the Troll Market. He states “They don’t look at us funny down here…” Implying that his gang of misfits finally “fits” somewhere. Oddly enough, if you ever survived high school, you will feel the same.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army was a real surprise for me. It exceeded my expectations visually and emotionally. Will this movie change the “superhero genre?” No, but it may bring back fantasy films. If you weren't a fan of the first film, I cannot recommend you to see this movie. The humor is on par with the original Hellboy and the characters as they are require you to abandon rationality for the simple fact that they exist. By the end of this movie there is plenty of room for Hellboy 3 and I for one, hope that idea comes to fruition. It is also safe to say that The Hobbit is in more than capable hands and I cannot wait to see the visual world Del Torro will create for those films.

Friendly Fire

2008-07-10T08:35:00.002-04:00

In our society it has become apparent that male friendships have suffered from the feminization of the word “friend.” “Friend” has taken on the connotation of weakness with men. Men, as a whole, have fewer friends than women and their friendships are often built out of loyalty more than love. It is an interesting dynamic to gender relationships in our society. In any relationship we look for commonalities and connections to our own lives. Male friendships are usually forged when there is a common cause. This could be sports, movies, or women. As men, we form brotherhoods that cannot be broken. In a lot of ways we value our male friendships more than our relationships with women. You see, there is a primitive bond that exists between men. These friendships are about the things that do not need to be said, but are understood. Loyalty is always a part of the male friendship and “love” is just implicit. There is the old cliché, “You are lucky to have one or two true friends in your life.” This is the one lesson we can take out of lives and it is very true. These are the friends that you count on and they count on you. These are the guys that would drop everything for you in a moments notice if that is what they thought you needed. These are the guys that do not have to get “wordy,” but their hand on your shoulder speaks volumes. These are the guys that look at you in your worst moments and yet, they still like you. They represent the confidence that resides in you and they are fiercely devoted to your cause.

Today’s “Roar” is a tribute to two of my very best male compatriots, Joe and Chris. I am listing movies that remind me of them and why the characters in these films are representation of our friendship.

Toy Story 2- Buzz Lightyear has to rescue Woody from selling himself out to be with his “kind.” Buzz puts together a team of toys to stop Woody from making a mistake and helps him realize that “friendship” is belonging. Neither of my friends would ever let me sell myself out. You’ve got a friend in me…

Star Wars-How many people do you know that would fly across the galaxy to save your ass from impending doom? Han Solo and Luke Skywalker are the truest friends. Luke risks everything, ignoring Yoda’s warning (…You will ruin all for which they fought and suffered), to help Han. He flies into Bespin, untrained and naïve. His purpose, to save his friends from Darth Vader. These guys would risk everything in the name of friendship and when things go wrong, I look to the stars for the Clarkinnium Falcon or an Ungaro-Wing Fighter.

Good Will Hunting-Well, this is the ultimate movie about friends and one of my all time favorite movies. The irony of the characters in this movie is that neither is threatened by the other. There is an unspoken bond on screen and is one of two movies in which I actually appreciate the acting of Ben Affleck.

And why does he hang out with those retarded gorillas, as you called them? Because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a fucking bat to your head, okay? It's called loyalty. This is so true about Chris and Joe. If I were in pain there is no doubt that bats would be in hand and we’d deal with the consequences later.

No, no no no. Fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me, 'cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll still be doin' this shit. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winnin' lottery ticket. You're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in 20 years. Hangin' around here is a fuckin' waste of your time. Only true friends can talk to you this way. Not your wife, not your mother, only your best friends.

The Godfather- Why do you hurt me, Michael? I've always been loyal to you-Tom Hagen
Tom Hagen is the most loyal individual ever to grace a movie screen. The relationship between he and Michael epitomizes the primal nature of the male bond. Tom is the only character able to tell Michael where he truly stands.

Somethin' Smells

2008-07-08T12:14:00.000-04:00

What makes a bad movie? The answer is easy, pretentiousness. Movies that claim to be “life changing” or are strung together to create “Oscar Buzz,” beware. These are the movies you must proceed ahead with caution before viewing. Now, there are bad movies on the shelves of every Blockbuster or “Ma and Pa” video store with titles like “They Saved Hitler’s Brain,” and if you rent these titles, you know exactly what you are getting. For the sake of this “Roar,” I’m limiting it to movies that seemingly had some promise, but failed miserably. It would be too easy to list “Cabin Boy” or “Anaconda” on this scale. It is also important to note that movies like Rocky 5 and Caddyshack 2 were left of off the list because they do not offer the smug nature of some films although they are quite bad. Do you remember Oscar winner “Dances with Wolves?” Go back and watch it and I think you’ll understand the pretentious nature of that film and just how bad it truly is while questioning the Academy’s decision to award it Best Picture. This movie is deemed “good” out of guilt because its plot deals with the destruction of Native Americans. This list was challenge, but the task is complete. Here are my five worst films in cinematic history…

5) Pay it Forward-Pretentious beyond all belief. If I do a kind act and someone else follows my lead the world will be better place. Malarkey! Here’s a kind act, burn every copy of this movie.

4) The Majestic-Jim Carrey crying for an Oscar nomination. Let’s see, if we put Martin Landau and Jim Carrey in the same movie it will be good, right? WRONG! Frank Darabount wrote this movie after Shawshank Redemption and I guess we all expected to be “good.” Nothing Majestic about it!

3) Battlefield Earth-L. Ron Hubbard, John Travolta and other’s in this epically bad movie about god knows what. I wanted to take my brain out of my skull and wash it after seeing this movie.

2) Dangerous Minds-That’s right Michelle Pfieffer as a bad ass teacher in a primarily African American high school. Hollywood, please show us the other side of the tracks. I am a Caucasian from suburbia and need to realize how diverse the world really is and need to identify with the other half. Hollywood, manipulate my sensibilities into crying. How do we teach these Keeeeedze? (far better movie) This is as pretentious as it gets.

1) Wild Hogs-I remember watching Meet the Parents and thinking, “Wow, this could have been awful, but it is quite good because there is star power carrying the script.” I thought to my dismay that “Wild Hogs” may be similar. Travolta, Allen, Macy, Liotta Lawrence, Tomei, how could this movie fail? “Failure” doesn’t even begin to describe the steaming crapfest that is Wild Hogs. By the end of this film, I was praying to God that in some fashion, he would return the wasted hour and forty-five minutes of my life in some capacity. I fault myself for sitting through this tragic cinematic piece of garbage. I’d rather have been eaten by Wild Hogs than watch this movie. Oh yeah, Peter Fonda shows up and gives an Easy Rider philosophy on “riding.” I hate, Hate, HATE this movie.

Hancock Wasted?

2008-07-06T09:13:00.000-04:00

It is tough to ignore the obvious jokes that would go with writing review about Hancock. I could say that this movie "Sucked Hancock" or it was just too much "Hancock for Me to Handle." The play on words are limitless unlike this movie. Hancock is bound by its own tepid screen writing and for some reason limits itself to being an okay film. Director Peter Berg has an opportunity here to take a character that is so interesting and create a new kind of superhero epic. Instead, we get a movie that relies soley on the star power of Will Smith. Smith plays the drunken, foul mouthed, Hancock with stlyle and for the first half of this movie I was enthralled and hoping that the script would continue in this direction. Hancock does not like the people that he saves and they do not return much love for him either. Hancock causes the city of Los Angeles millions of dollars in damage everytime he puts forth any heroic effort. He is bogged down in his own self-pity until he saves the life of Ray Embery played by Jason Bateman. Embery is an idealists with a Public Relations background and proposes to change Hancocks image. Embery's wife, Mary, played by Charlize Theron, is less than taken with Hancock. This creates what may be an intersting dynamic to the film, but for some reason the script gets far away from this thought and folds onto itself. We do get an explanation of who Hancock is, but in so many ways it is flimsy. It is all tied into ancient mythology and the path of a true hero. This is a big mistake because Hancock is the antithesis of a true hero and that is what could have made this movie a winner. Its inability to seperate itself from just another superhero movie was detremantal to the second half of the film.

There are things to like about Hancock. The character curses at children and drinks whiskey by the bottle. He is self-loathing and hates the fact that people have expectations for him. He could easily abuse his power and doesn't because in some way is looking for acceptance. Hancock is different and this movie could have been too. It is hard to write a glowing review of this movie even though all the elements are in place for something totally refreshing. The biggest problem with Hancock is there isn't one moment in the movie where you are in awe of anything that happens on screen. There are no "goosebump" moments. By the end, you might wish you had a bottle of whiskey to wipe away the memory of this subtle summer fare.

Apology Not Accepted

2008-07-05T10:08:00.000-04:00

It all began years ago in a childhood far far away. A young boy with an active imagination attached himself to a movie. The premise seemed to be off the wall. The movie featured a seemingly gay robot accompanied by a mobile trashcan that spoke beeps and blurps. It featured a “walking carpet” and a whiney moisture farmer. The craziest thing about this film was the asthmatic villain who ruled with an iron fist. The movie was Star Wars or as they call it now, Star Wars: A New Hope. It set the bar for blockbuster entertainment and spawned a merchandising empire. George Lucas’s vision ignited the imaginations of many children and gave hope that movies could still be fun. It was a creation that would lead to creative filmmaking and has inspired generations of filmmakers. As a kid all those years ago, I thought that Star Wars and its sequels could not have been more perfect. The Empire Strikes Back may be the pillar of a cinematic masterpiece. There is not a moment wasted on screen. I use to hang upside down on my bed and try to use the force to get my toy lightsaber just like Luke. It never worked, but I am still trying. You see Star Wars for me is my barometer for movies. I expect more out of Hollywood because of its achievements and world renowned praise. These are the very movies that made me love film. But I digress, I cannot spend another minute of my life apologizing for the abomination called The Prequel Trilogy.
Let’s start off with Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I bought into this travesty hook, line, and sinker. I remember watching the teaser trailer in November of 1998 and nearly crying because it looked so promising. It seemed as if Lucas and company had an idea of what they were doing. Besides the day I got married, the day I bought tickets for The Phantom Menace was the happiest moment of my life. I could not believe that another Star Wars movie was going to splash down and rule an entire summer. I bought toys, magazines, and product tie-ins from Pizza Hut. I was energized again and knew that greatness had once again arrived in Hollywood. It was all too perfect and the time machine in my heart harkened back to the days of playing with my Millenium Falcon and freeing Han Solo from play-dough as if he were encased in carbonite. Damn, this was going to be good. I brought my girlfriend, my sisters, and anyone else who wanted to share in this glorious occasion with me to the theater. The local news had reporters stationed inside the theater interviewing people before and after the movie. Kids and adults were dressed in costumes swinging lightsabers and making buzzing sounds. This was the impact of cinema in its finest hour. The opening sequence to any Star Wars movie is always exciting. The Lucasfilm logo hits the screen and a silence falls over the crowd without fail. Then it happened, The Phantom Menace actually played as a movie and it was stunningly embarrassing. Jar Jar Binks is credited with the ruination of the franchise, but it is not his fault. Yes, Jar Jar is annoying, but not nearly as irritating has Jake Lloyd as young Anakin Skywalker. George Lucas has trouble directing adult actors so, what was he thinking starting off the “new trilogy” with an eight-year-old Sith to be? I am still baffled. The best casting decision in this movie was Samuel Jackson as Mace Windu. His performance was riveting as he drops knowledge on young Anakin in a Jedi Council meeting. His two lines in the film should be shown in every acting class (sarcasm). These small quibbles are not the worst aspect of the movie. The worst was the decision to have a Star Wars movie based off of a Galactic Trade dispute. I cannot believe for second that Lucas thought this would be an interesting idea. He has said repeatedly that the Star Wars Universe was created for children therefore adults would be critical of the new films. Well, when is the last time a group of children busted out their action figures to play Galactic Trade Dispute? To borrow a line from Luke Skywalker, “NEVER!” I have to give credit to the last 45 minutes of the movie because it was rather exciting. I enjoyed watching the tattooed Darth Maul fight two Jedi, but for all of his badness, his death was rather weak. He was taken out by a young Obi-Wan and cut in half. Frankly, I never got the Darth Maul character. He was just a pit-bull trained to kill. The moment that seals the deal in this movie is Anakin “accidentally” blowing up a Trade Federation ship to save the day on Naboo. That scene was and still is just plain stupid. Yippie! Isn’t that what we all scream when we save the galaxy? After seeing this movie seven times in the theater, I still apologized for all of its awfulness. The truth is that The Phantom Menace is as far from the Star Wars Universe as one could possibly get. Oh by the way, the announcers of the pod race scene…
Now to the sweat stained Attack of the Clones. Holy crap did this movie just plain suck the life out me in parts. Anakin Skywalker was played by Hayden Christensen and boy did he “wow” me with his captivating charisma. Again, Lucas puts the screws to his loyalists. He is quoted as saying that Clones is a love story. That’s right, A LOVE STORY. That is exactly what we want out of Star Wars movie. It was surely a good idea to write the first third as a Trade Dispute, but what an epiphany it must have been to make a Star Wars movie a “love story.” Hey guys, let’s gather our action figures and play “love story.” Seriously, the “love scenes” in this movie are unforgivable by any standards. Here is the actual script:

INTERIOR: NABOO LAKE RETREAT, LODGE, FIREPLACE ALCOVE -TWILIGHT
A fire blazes in the open hearth. PADMÉ and ANAKIN aresitting in front of it, gazing into the flames. She looksup as ANAKIN leans in to kiss her.
PADMÉ: Anakin, no.
ANAKIN: From the moment I met you, all those years ago, aday hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. And nowthat I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get toyou, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with youmakes my stomach turn over - my mouth goes dry. I feeldizzy. I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss you shouldnever have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kisswill not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormentingme. What can I do? I will do anything you ask...

This was really carried out on screen. The greatest Jedi of all time actually says this stuff. I am “haunted” by the script. All I could do is ask myself, “What the hell is going on?” Anakin Skywalker is behaving like a total dweeb. His MySpace page must be pathetic. Who would have thought Darth “Freakin” Vader to be completely EMO? I’m sure they are concerned about him at the Jedi Temple. This doesn’t say much for the mentoring job of Obi-Wan Kenobi. I love the fact that the all knowing Jedi cannot or fail to acknowledge the conflicted feelings of the “chosen one.” This does not top the introduction of Jango Fett. Jango is brought into the film to introduce fan favorite, Boba Fett. I never really understood the infatuation with Boba Fett, after all, he was just a bounty hunter. He first appeared during the Star Wars Holiday Special and still has a cult following. In my opinion, his story is the least interesting. The problems with “Clones” seem dissipate when we arrive at the Battle Arena where Anakin and Padme are sentenced to death by three creatures, but again it proves to be ridiculous. Mace Windu shows up with his glowing purple lightsaber and says, “This party is over.” Can you feel the chills? It was astonishingly terrible to see so many Jedi getting “punked” so easily. These are Jedi Knights. These are the heroic icons of youth. These are the guys we would put up against any enemy and they would succeed. In “Clones,” they are destroyed by Federation Droids. Attack of the Clones does have one redeeming quality and that it the Jedi prowess of Yoda. Yoda ignites his lightsaber and I felt a slight tickle in my special area. It saved this movie from totally being horrendous. “Clones” gets an “A” for effort and a D- for execution. Execution is too appropriate for this movie.
Revenge of the Sith is the third installment of the prequel trilogy and the most tragic for various reasons. Sith was going to be the movie that brought redemption back to the Star Wars Universe. All of the things that were discussed in our youth would come to fruition. We were finally going to see Anakin Skywalker fight Obi-Wan Kenobi in what should have been the greatest lightsaber battle of all-time. What we get is something less. It amazes me that the Jedi were so easily fooled by Emperor Palpatine. They are almost deserving of their plight. Lucas said, “This is the Titanic of the series.” One more time, “Let’s get our action figures and play Titanic.” Really George? What is most heartbreaking about Sith is that it has the workings of a great film. All of the elements are there and once again it is fumbled and bobbled. There is homage to the Godfather in this film, which I liked and wish were carried out more effectively. In The Godfather, the five families are “taken care of” at the end of the movie. In Sith, the Jedi are “taken care of” on various worlds, but once again the build up doesn’t correlate well with the scenes. I was literally crawling in my seat when the Jedi are murdered on the “neon” planet. The CGI was so bad that I felt as if I were on Mr. Toads Wild Ride at Disney World. It looked cheap and made me feel the same. We all wanted to see Revenge of the Sith to see the transformation of Anakin into Vader. I honestly cannot stand the way this was portrayed on screen. Anakin is cut off at the legs and then burns before being rescued by Palpatine. Let me put this in perspective, Anakin Skywalker has legendary lightsaber skills and has saved the galaxy numerous times from doom, yet, isn’t savvy enough not to flip into the blue blade of Obi-Wan. This is just plain awful. However, I did enjoy the Frankenstein style in which Anakin becomes Darth Vader, but all is ruined when James Earl Jones’s voice utters the word “NOOOOOO!” I understand he is upset about the possibility of killing his wife in a fit of rage, but once you put on that black suit you are not entitled to whine. Mr. Skywalker must shed is quasi-depressive state and become a hateful, spiteful Sith Lord. I almost wish that Lucas had written the transformation of Anakin earlier in the trilogy. It would have been fascinating to see him hunt and murder Jedi without remorse. If you rearrange the letters in Sith you just may have the true meaning of the Prequel Trilogy.
I love the Star Wars Universe. It is an escapist fantasy for me and always has been. It is the reminder of all that was good aboutgrowing up a child of the 70’s and 80’s. It has taught me valuable lessons about good and evil and love and friendship. Some over step their boundries and say that Lucas “raped” their childhood. I cannot agree with this, but I can say that Star Wars is sacred ground. It is not to be taken lightly. I just wanted to relive a fraction of my childhood. I didn’t expect these movies to better that the Original Trilogy, but I did expect them to be just as good.

Dad, Me, and Movies

2008-06-15T22:25:00.000-04:00

Fifteen months ago I lost my father in what was a life changing, yet, life affirming event in my life. After months and months of incredible sadness, I began to recognize all of the little moments that we had spent together. I began to realize that moments that were once insignificant had now become important. These instances range from getting “merit” badges as a Cub Scout to having a catch. If I have one regret, it is that I never told him how those “insignificant moments” impacted me. My father wasn’t big into movies like I am, but the movies he did see, he always liked. He loved comedies. There is something about watching a comedy with your dad and listening to him laugh. If he laughs you know you will too. I recall watching Old School with my old man the night before my wedding. His belly laugh had me rolling and tears were streaming down my face much the way they are now as I write this. We saw some great classics together too. I look fondly on taking him to see Ghostbusters on his birthday. I watched him in the theater that day and do not think he stopped smiling the entire film. Slimer made me cackle, but I am sure Bill Murray’s lines about “dickless” government workers and his girlfriend sleeping “four feet above the covers” were the reasons for his amusement. My dad and I could always bond over a great comedy so today, I honor him and I am reminded of how much I miss his goofy smile. Here are his top five favorites:

5) Blazing Saddles-He always quoted this flick “Badges…we don’t need no stinkin’ badges.”

4) Meet the Parents-We saw this as an entire family and it was my pop’s introduction to Ben Stiller.

3) Men In Black-Yes, Men In Black! My dad LOVED this movie and I still can’t figure out what his obsession was with this film. I liked it, but he loved it.

2) Ghostbusters-Well it is a classic and it made making smores with the old man enjoyable. Where are those Stay Puffed Marshmellows?

1)Young Frankenstein-A comedy classic. Mel had a way with my dad and this was the first movie he ever bought on VHS.

Hulk Smash!

2008-06-15T21:59:00.000-04:00

This movie’s main character, The Hulk, has something that lives deep inside of him. It is something primitive, raw, and needs to be examined without limitations. It is the very essence of man. It is the desire to let raw emotion take our minds and bodies to perform either heroic or horrible acts. The Hulk is man stripped down to his bare bones. He represents thousands of years of repression. He is nature at its purest. When I was leaving the theater after seeing The Incredible Hulk I felt more than satisfied because I had the opportunity to examine something that resides deep inside of me. Like the Hulk, I was trying to repress ancient feelings of being a kid just enjoying a superhero movie. You see, superhero movies have more adult qualities to them then ever before. The storylines are not as basic and as movie-goers we are all benefiting. As I watched The Incredible Hulk something resonated with me. It wasn’t the storyline or the acting. It wasn’t the dilemma of Bruce Banner trying to do the right thing. It was a giggle inside my belly of sheer childhood delight. It was an eight year-old boy who I have lost touch with. It was me. There is a scene early on in the film where The Hulk tosses a forklift like a “softball” and I felt as if someone had transported me back in time. I suddenly remembered Bill Bixby walking solemnly down a lonely road with a bag over his shoulder as the “sad” Hulk music played in the background. I remembered cutting my Felix the Cat pajamas with scissors and showing my mother that I had clothes like the Hulk. I remembered her Hulk like rage afterwards too. It has been a very long time since I have sat in a theater and just enjoyed a film as much as enjoyed The Incredible Hulk.
There is a pureness to this movie that many may not understand. Marvel’s Incredible Hulk isn’t a very “deep” character in comparison to the other superhero franchises. He lacks the suaveness of Tony Stark and isn’t as conflicted as Peter Parker. Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) gets angry and when he gets angry, things get smashed. I enjoyed the “smashing” immensely. The Hulk swings from helicopters and takes on battalions of trained Army soldiers. He is tested and pushed to the brink. This movie touches on something very prehistoric that exist in all of us, our desire to listen to rage.
It is important to remember that movies should entertain us and The Incredible Hulk does this for a vast majority of its two hour running time. Edward Norton is more than serviceable as Dr. Bruce Banner and Liv Tyler is very good as Betty Ross. There is enough in this movie to please fans of the TV show and fan boys who have every copy of the comics. You may not like the Hulk when he is angry, but I sure did.

Iron is the Man

2008-05-25T23:31:00.000-04:00

Iron Man is one a movie that I respect the heck out of because a studio has finally realized to leave comic book characters in the hands of capable and inspired directors. This is the case here with Jon Favreau. He is a bona fide Iron Man comic book reader. This no different than Sam Raimi's love of Spider-Man. These are two franchises that will continue to bloom and entertain because there is great care. We have all seen the destruction of what happens when a studio goes for a quick cash grab like X-Men: The Last Stand and the abysmal Batman and Robin. Iron Man has the chance to be a great story and it is off to a terrific start in one of the better origin stories.

Tony Stark is a womanizing alcoholic who happens to be a brilliant weapons designer. He is also the worlds largest jerk and needs to be kidnapped by terrorists to be given a dose of reality. That is why Robert Downey Jr. is perfect for the role. His own demons clearly come out in the character of Stark and his road to redemption is similar.

Pepper Potts is played by Gwenyth Paltrow and she is perfect has is Tony's "Money Penny." The "love story" isn't over the top and truly understated as it should be. This role is a departure for Paltrow and makes her likable among the "fan boys" who love this stuff. I loved their relationship because she plays Tony's babysitter, yet she knows his dark secrets and accepts his faults.

There are so many things to appreciate in Iron Man. It was thoroughly enjoyable to see Tony Stark creating the Mark 1 in Afghanistan and then using it to escape. During this scene we learn that Stark, although brilliant, is naive and not as smart as we had previously given him credit for being. His weapons are being sold to the enemy and the entire time he thought he was protecting his country. His true enemy is capitalism and he must decide on what is important upon is return to the United States. Does he protect those who need protecting or does he turn away and cash check after check? I also like that Iron Man is who he his. Unlike Spiderman or Peter Parker, Tony Stark isn't afraid to let the world know. He doest allow the villians to put a bulls eye on his chest. He calls himself out and lets the world know his true identity.

It is clear from the opening scenes of the movie who is true enemies are and although it is supposed to come as a big reveal at the end we are not that surprised. This does not detract from the movie, but the "secret" could have been more guarded.

Now for the suit. The birth Iron Man was so utterly fascinating that I could have watched an entire movie about how Tony Stark perfected its awesomeness. Yes, I said awesomeness. The Iron Man suit is so freakin' cool that it gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. There are so many opportunities for Stark to use the suit and he does so in a bad-ass way time after time.

Frankl, I cannot wait to see where Iron Man is going to go. I hope Marvel doesn't ruin the franchise by trying to stuff too much alfalfa into this pita. The idea of cross-over films is an interesting idea, but be warned, there is more to the Tony Stark story that needs to be told uninterrupted.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Dull?

2008-05-25T23:28:00.000-04:00

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is built upon expectations. It is nineteen years of wanting and waiting. It is supposed to be the return of an iconic adventurer. I had to ask myself, do we need another Indiana Jones movie? The answer is “yes” we certainly need another Indiana Jones, just not this one. Crystal Skull gets so much right and at the same time it gets so much wrong. Our hero Indiana is the same as he was years ago just a little grayer and far more intelligent than I remember. This Indy figures out riddles and puzzles with such simplicity that it made me uncomfortable. The Henry Jones Jr. I remember stumbled onto things with good guesses and savvy survival skills. Yes, he was smart too just not to the point that he didn’t have to work for it. The problem with Spielberg and Lucas’s latest effort is that script is not basic enough. It is spread thin in all directions and its focus is never fully realized.
The biggest question mark going into this movie was Harrison Ford. He has suffered a string of awful films and he needed Indiana more than the audience. He delivers. There is only a “look” Ford can give as Indy and it is clear that he is more than just a hat and whip. It was refreshing to see Ford not “mail it in” for another pay-day. He was just as charming as he has always been and the main reason to see this film. So what’s wrong with this film?
Let’s start off with Cate Blanchett as Agent Spalko. Spalko is the fair haired girl of Josef Stalin during the Cold War. Stalin made it no secret that he was interested in finding ways of perfecting psychic warfare. He was also hell bent on creating ape men that would replace Red Army soldiers and bring about the end of democracy in the West. This was a reminder of the original Raiders of the Lost Ark where Adolf Hitler’s obsession with the occult was explored, but unlike Raiders, Crystal Skull complicates the matter. It isn’t about the evils of communism spreading into the west by the means of an all powerful crystal skull. You see, the Ark was just a device that was to be used for world domination. Blanchett does a fine job of playing a villain, but in my estimation she isn’t mean enough and never puts Indiana Jones in any real peril. He is never beaten or truly tortured and his escapes are too simple considering the painstakingly effort the Russians take to apprehend our hero.
Karen Allen’s return as Marion Ravenwood was the one thing I was looking forward to seeing in Crystal Skull. Marion has always been the women that would never back down to Indiana and their relationship was electric in Raiders of the Lost Ark. She is THE WOMAN for Indiana. She challenges his sensibilities and yet he loves her more than any other woman. So I ask the “Beards,” Why is she so smitten with him in her return to the series? She is like a wide-eyed school girl who is looking for Indiana to give her his varsity letter jacket. They made her a woman of the fifties and the truth is Marion as always been a head of her time. Although there is a certain nostalgic sweetness to their very first lines together in the film, she was almost submissive. I was disappointed and delighted at the same time to see Allen reprise her role. Again, Lucas has made things bitter-sweet.
There are some things that are dead on in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The set pieces are amazing and the opening sequence is something to behold. It was evident that Lucas was returning to his days of American Graffiti. Racing cars in the fifties is just cool and I was hooked by the first half of this film. I was also pleasantly surprised by Shia LeBeouf’s Mutt Williams. He was the perfect sidekick for Indiana and did exactly what he was supposed to do in the movie. The motorcycle escape had me believing this was going to be the Indy film we had all dreamed about. Unfortunately, this movie becomes unraveled in the second half and loses its wit rather quickly. Again, they failed to keep it simple and the Crystal skull turns into implausible scene after implausible scene before deflating.
It is important to remember that I cannot spoil this film for those who have yet to see it. As a fan of Spielberg and Lucas, I could write pages about this movie. It is hard for me to only like half a movie, but this is the case here with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The first act is very solid and the second doesn’t come to a crescendo. I am not disappointed by the movie, but I am concerned that this film cannot stand on its own. Crystal Skull is a nice piece of nostalgia just not a great movie.

Whaddya Lookin' At?

2008-04-28T19:36:00.000-04:00

There are great fight scenes then there are GREAT fight scenes in movies. I mean the kind of fights that tickle your undercarriage kind of good. I love stupid and pointless action. It is like eating a Ding-Dong, unsatisfying, but good. Like Ding-Dongs, bad fight scenes can cause you to gag. The ultimate fights are the ones with great tension and the build up is so freaking unbearable that you want to be in the movie to settle the score yourself. The beauty of a downy-brook is that it doesn’t have to be bloody or torrid with non-sensible action, it needs to be wrapped tightly in emotion. It has to tap into a primitive yearning of wanting revenge or the desire to prevent harm being inflicted by an adversary. The “fight” in the movies is thing that makes us “stay” in our seats and await the inevitable outcome. Great fights are the very things that call for repeat viewings and they are the very reason such “terrific acting talents” such as Van Damme and Steven Segal had successful careers (I can’t believe I just wrote that). Here are my top five fight scenes:

5) DANIEL LARUSSO vs. JOHNNY LAWRENCE (THE KARATE KID)
Get him a body bag, yeah! This fight was so awesome when I was a kid. I watched this movie repeatedly just to get the fight scene at the end. Johnny Lawrence was such a jerk to poor Daniel. He rode a scary dirt bike and smoked hippie lettuce in the bathroom and jacked Daniel-son up more than once. The famous crane whooped ass and you know you all tried it. Hey, when you’re the best around…

4) FRANK DUX vs. CHONG LI (BLOODSPORT) Chong-Li! Chong Li! Jean Claude is blind and still fights off Chong Li in this cinematic masterpiece. Van Damme was totally bad-ass in Bloodsport.

3) TYLER DURDEN vs. Himself (FIGHT CLUB) Scary, poignant, dark…FUNNY! Fight Club is the movie that makes you believe you like being hit. Who better to beat you up than you? What a crazy metaphor for the learned weaknesses of men. Thanks Mom!

2) LUKE SKYWALKER vs. DARTH VADER (STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK) Holy Crap this was the mother of all fights. Vader lures Luke into the carbon freezing chamber and when Luke arrives Vader’s sword glows ominously. The fight is furious and ends with a severed hand and whiney hero hanging from a weather vane.
1)

1)ROCKY BALBOA vs. APOLLO CREED (ROCKY) Rocky knows he can’t win and says so, but we stand and cheer at our hero losing. The fight itself is tense with drama and for most us we hate Creed because he represents a brand name. Apollo is “Microsoft” and Rocky reminds him of his roots. I still get teary at the climax of this one. The fight is violent and furious and involves a razor blade. ROCKY! ROCKY!

The Return Roar

2008-03-27T11:23:00.000-04:00

Rumors of my disappearance have been greatly exaggerated. I did not think about the considerable amount of time it takes to keep up with a blog and to keep it fresh. The truth be told, I used this blog as therapy this past summer. I still love movies and have many things to write about or to share. I just want my TWO supporters to know that I acknowledge letting you down the past few months and will try harder to keep this blog new. It kept me contact with a few of you and I sincerely miss that.

There are several movies I have watched since my last post in October and I will give you a very brief rundown and few random and insignificant thoughts…

I Am Legend: Good with potential to be great. Will Smith is on the precipice of a truly breakthrough role it just isn’t this movie. The Fresh Prince needs to opt for a good script rather than a big pay day. There was too much emphasis on action in the last half-hour and the human side of things was lost. Combine this movie with Children of Men and I think a terrific movie may germinate.

Juno: Thoughtful and unpretentious. It might be the best screenplay written in many years. It showed the beauty of pregnancy as well as the immaturity of teens in similar situations. JK Simmons was priceless as Juno’s father. This was quirky, but honest.

American Gangster: Overblown crime drama. Too much in the same vein as Scarface, not enough of the two heavyweights dueling it out.

Charlie Wilson’s War: This movie was glossy in its portrayal of the Afghan/ Russian war, but it was damn entertaining. It was well worth the admission to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman. This is proof that good scripts can be great given great talent to carry out their purpose.

Up and coming: Horton Hears a Who

And You Can Quote Me...

2007-10-07T22:54:00.001-04:00

Today’s Roar is for the guys. It is my belief that one of the most awkward situations to take part in is the dinner date with one of your wife/girlfriend’s good friends and her new beau. You see, this sets up for hours of elongated torture, but if you’re lucky, it can turn into something special. You are on the outside looking in and your wife/girlfriend has a vested interest. She wants to know if this guy is the “one” her friend will settle down with and she goes along to either give approval or the dreaded thumbs down. You go along because you are told you have to and you hope that the restaurant makes an abnormally sized steak so you don’t have to talk to this potential dweeb. As a man you know that the possibility exist that this particular guy may not have any of your interest, hell, he may not even like women and this thing could be a charade. Being the good soldier that you are, you smile and tell your wife/girlfriend this is going to be “fun.” The truth is that this fellow has a lot to prove to you. He has to pass your personal litmus test. In the back of his mind he is hoping you approve of him because if you don’t, chances are he isn’t getting to the “promise land” with your wife/girlfriend’s friend. Once the date begins you shake hands and you get over the lame introductions that are standard fare. After the appetizers come and you have already discussed your careers, he says something that catches your ear. You see, he ordered a steak just like you, but instead the waitress brings him the wrong dish with two center cut pork chops. He looks at you and says, “I don’t eat no swine.” You both look at each other and immediately you have formed a bond. Your heart actually flutters a bit because it has been so long since you have been able to quote movies and have someone actually “get it.” After all, you are a man and you pride yourself on the movie quote. You’ve practiced this skill for many years and it always seems to work among men. It is nice to sit with someone else who has also been trained in the art of the “quote.” As the evening rolls on, the quotes get more obscure and this guy gets about 95 percent of them. The “promise land” isn’t too far away for this guy you tell yourself. Once the dinner is over and you are leaving the restaurant you whisper into your wife/girlfriend’s friend’s ear and tell her “He’s cool.” This changes everything for your new friend, because your approval just got his passport stamped Ah! The power of movies!

Now I could get into quotable movies, but we have all heard the popular ones. For today’s roar I will post some of my favorites and hope you do the same.

5) “You will be…You will be.”-Scary Yoda

4) “San Diego...”-I could go on with this but I’d be doing a disservice to Ron Burgandy

3) “Hey Dorn, none of this ole bull****.”-Major League

2) Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny (bleeping) Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.” -Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation

1) “God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.”-Blazing Saddles (Mr.Taggert)

Trick or Treat?

2007-09-30T09:58:00.000-04:00

I felt the need to see this movie as late in the fall as I possibly could. Its August 31st release date just didn’t cut it for me because it wasn’t close enough to the actual holiday. I had been increasingly anxious to see a “new” Michael Myers on screen and to celebrate the return of one of my all time favorite “creep out” films. I have said before that remakes are usually bad ideas turned into bad movies, but I was more than willing to give Rob Zombie a pass on this one. After all, I have always pictured Zombie as a teenager relaxing in his room playing death metal and reading the latest Fangoria Magazine. He was going to be the guy to pay the proper respects to the John Carpenter original. I spent time during the spring of last year reading articles and listening to interviews with Zombie. He exuded a confidence about HIS Halloween. He stated numerous times that this Halloween movie was HIS own with a slight touch of Carpenter. I trusted Rob Zombie. I saw the Devil’s Rejects and was impressed with the social commentary that the film put off. Sure, it was brutal, but it was funny and had a style. I must admit to liking House of 100 Corpses too. Halloween was in safe hands and once again I’d feel the uneasiness of Mike Myers prowling the streets of Haddonfield. As I watched Halloween, the thoughts of safe hands corroded into a laughable mess and Rob Zombie butchered an iconic super villain with the need to make HIS movie.
The first big mistake with this movie is the script. We are forced to watch a young Michael Myers come into his own as a psychopathic killer. It isn’t the least bit interesting. Zombie tried to create sympathy for the young man by giving him the most dysfunctional family ever created for the screen. His mother is a stripper, his sister could care less, and his mother’s live in boyfriend is a low life loser. Their house in Haddonfield is not a happy home, yet these people co-exist in the same habitat and frankly, it is rather unbelievable. Michael is picked on at school because his Mom dances topless at the local “Gentleman’s Club.” After receiving a beating in the boy’s bathroom, he is taken in by the principal and to our surprise they find a dead cat in his book bag. My sympathy for Michael is gone and now he is just a troubled kid. Enter Samuel Loomis played by Malcom McDowell. Now, Loomis was played by Donald Pleasance in the original and I believed McDowell would do the character credit. He did not because there was nothing in the script for him to work with. Loomis believes the boy needs to be institutionalized and says so during his conference with Ms. Myers. Meanwhile, Michael runs off and begins killing everyone in brutal fashion while wearing a clown mask. That is right…a clown mask. He later slaughters his entire family except for his baby sister, Boo. He is subsequently put into the institution where Loomis is to oversee his “rehab.” Flash forward 15 years and Michael is now grown up and when I say “grown up” I mean 6 foot 5 with a hulking frame. This is ridiculous because I believe the movie takes place before Balco. Myers is in the process of being “transferred.” To where? We never really find out and why should it matter? Myers gets loose, kills everyone and voila he is free. How convenient. When I said the script was lacking I meant it is abysmal. Myers returns home and Zombie gives a shot for shot remake of the original with slight variations to a few murders. I have a problem with this because this is HIS movie. I won’t spoil the big reveal or the surprise ending, but let’s just say you won’t be shocked.
The major problems with Rob Zombie’s Halloween aren’t necessarily with his idea of creating a psychopath. The problem is we don’t need an explanation of “evil” or why it walks among us. It is just scary to think that a person exists in our world like Michael Myers. As a viewer, we don’t need to know his intentions. Carpenter’s Halloween was a success because his Myers had no rhyme or reason. He was created out of need to murder and inflict pain. The original brought a presence more than a character and gave us a creepy stalker who was institutionalized and escapes in grand fashion. He isn’t given “super powers” and rarely bust through walls or appears out of no where. Zombie’s Myers is cartoonish and not frightening enough for today’s audiences. Zombie’s Halloween is brutal and that is HIS fatal mistake because brutality isn’t horror. Horror movies are supposed to be scary and when we sit through them we should feel uneasy as they tap into our adrenal glands. I’m starting to feel that the horror genre has gotten far away from being creepy and scary. We now have a slew of movies that are kindly called “torture porn” by critics. These movies do have their place and Eli Roth’s Hostel is an exploration into that area, but Michael Myers doesn’t belong in a movie just about brutality. I know this was an attempt by Zombie to make HIS movie and he did, but he lost sight of what makes horror frightening. A cartoon can be stopped, but PURE E…Vil (Donald Pleasance) cannot.

All Aboard!

2007-09-13T08:24:00.000-04:00

The “old west” is as American as any one thing we have in our culture. It is exclusively ours. The west has its rightful place with apple pie and Fourth of July. Over the years the cinema has captured this piece of Americana with grandeur and wonderment. Yes, there was the spaghetti western trilogy of Sergio Leone, but they captured the essence of what the west was and what it would soon become, even though they were filmed in Spain and Italy. Westerns used to be common place in the movies and demanded iconic actors to take on the roles of Jesse James, Wyatt Earp, and Butch Cassidy. Recently, Hollywood has strayed away from the western because those films do not make money and our fascination with the west has dwindled. A lot of modern westerns have become stylistic with Matrix like action and have lost their charm in telling stories of good vs. evil. 3:10 to Yuma is that movie. It is the western I’ve wanted to see. Charming? No. Harsh? Yes. Stylistic? No. A tale of the good nature of some and the evil ways of others? Yes. This movie relies heavily on its actors to carry a simple story and it does so effortlessly.
Christian Bale (Batman Begins) plays Dan Evans, a rancher who is on the verge of losing his farm to a major railroad company. Dan is a man tortured by being discharged from the Union Army due to a “battle” wound. He has lost favor in his oldest son’s eyes and his wife has not looked at him in years. Yet, Dan holds onto hope and out of hope, he becomes a desperate man to save his family from certain demise. Bale plays Evans perfectly. He isn’t the prototypical hero that we have become accustomed to in most action epics. Dan’s whole story never unfolds into the final frames and this a true credit to the screen writers.
Evan’s life changes drastically when he runs into wanted criminal Ben Wade played by Russell Crowe (Gladiator). Crowe is as good as he as ever been. He is mean, nasty, and dangerous. There is also a sadness built into his character and it something we see on screen, however, we are not sure if his sympathies are genuine. For me, this is the strength of Crowe as an actor and it is what makes him special. When Evans and Wade first meet Crowe does not endear himself to Dan. He takes Dan’s horses and has accidentally killed two of his cattle. Later, the two meet as Wade is captured in town and 3:10 to Yuma begins to move.
The plot is simple. Get Ben Wade to the prison train in Yuma before his gang comes to free him. Wade’s escorts consist of a bounty hunter (played by Peter Fonda), a veterinarian, a railroad representative, and Dan Evan’s who takes two hundred dollars to help bring Wade to justice. A lot happens in between and we get classic camp fire scenes, horses riding across the mythical west, and a gang of the meanest bastards hunting down the convoy. It is in this simplicity that this movie works because there is an increasing tension throughout the journey, but the most pleasant surprise of the movie is Ben Foster (X-Men 3) as Charlie Prince, the loyal sidekick of Ben Wade. Foster probably won’t receive a best supporting actor nod, but he should be under consideration.
3:10 to Yuma worked for me on multiple levels. There is a rich, heart tugging story between a boy and his father, a villain who lives amongst codes and not laws, and the old west in all of its glory. This movie is very American and captures the essence of good action yarn. Yuma is a 1957 remake and I usually hate remakes, but this movie deserved to be treated with great actors such as Bale and Crowe. I am glad it received the proper respect it deserved and I am certain you’ll enjoy boarding the 3:10 to Yuma.

Battle of the Vacations

2007-08-22T11:04:00.000-04:00

The next segment on The Daily Roar will be a “versus” feature. Everyday will feature a battle between movies, actors, and actresses. I will be requesting the help of guest writers to help with the process. For today’s Roar I’ll give you the lay out and the criteria. The segment will follow a boxing format and you the reader will be the judge of each “bout.”
Today’s bout features National Lampoon’s Vacation vs. National Lampoon’s European Vacation. Some of you will probably want to go with original others will go with the sequel. In my opinion both are comedic classics. This should be a hard hitting fight.

National Lampoon’s Vacation

Tale of the tape: Released in 1983 and written by John Hughes. This feature was directed by Harold Ramis. Vacation stars Chevy Chase as pop-culture father figure, Clark Griswold. You all know the story. Clark tries to plan the perfect vacation to Walley World only to have setback after setback along their trek cross country.

Jab: The cameos are portrayed with near perfection in this classic. Christy Brinkley is ridiculously sexy and I believe Clark agrees (swimming pool scene). John Candy is priceless has the Walley World security guard.

Combination Punches: Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie is a demonstration of flawless comedic execution. The rapport between Chase and Quaid still makes me laugh.

Knockout Punch: The death of Aunt Edna and subsequently strapping her to the roof of the station wagon is very memorable. Clark’s arrival at the gates of Walley World only to learn that it is closed features the great spazz scene in movie history. It is hard not to laugh at Clark holding Candy hostage with a pellet gun.

National Lampoon’s European Vacation

Tale of the tape: Released in 1985 and written by John Hughes. This film was directed by Amy Heckerling. Chevy Chase returns as Clark Griswold. The Griswolds win a trip to Europe on the game show Pig in a Poke. The same set of circumstances seem to follow the Griswalds to Europe.

Jab: Eric Idle does a great job as the guy who is constantly getting hurt by Clark’s accidents. “It’s just flesh wound.”

Combination Punches: Rusty and Clark eating dinner in France is tremendously funny. “He’s going to pork her…”

Knockout Punch: The Big Ben Parliament scene is classic. I still quote it every time I get lost or pass the same structure as I’m driving. “Hey Dad, bedpans…”

Well, this is the format and will get more involved as the weeks go on. Please comment and vote for your favorite.

Bourne Again

2007-08-07T08:52:00.000-04:00

Matt Damon has certainly made a career for himself playing a multitude of characters. His range has an actor has more than surpassed expectations and his decisions to do “good” films have carried him into acting’s elite class. The Bourne series has been one of those brilliant choices because it establishes him as a legitimate action star. Damon plays Jason Bourne with such intensity that it is hard to take your eyes off of him. There is an urgency to his character and that credit has to go to Tony Gilroy who scripted this third installment. Paul Greengrass (United 93) is back to direct with the “shaky cam” that the made the first two movies so popular. The Bourne Ultimatum does nothing new with genre, but perfect the art form. The first frames of Ultimatum are like receiving an electrical shock to your “ticker.” The set-up is done flawlessly amidst tons of action and there is no need for it to slow down. As the plot moves the characters are moving too from scene to scene. It may seem that you have “seen this before,” but not done in this fashion. There is a certain flare and definite violence to all of the fight scenes as Jason Bourne fights to recover his true identity.
Joan Allen (Pam Landy) returns for this installment along with Julia Styles (Nicky Parsons). Both do a fine job of keeping us informed of the “plot” as Bourne gets closer to the truth. David Straithairn (Good Night and Good Luck) plays the villain, Noah Vosen. Straithairn plays Vosen with the same intensity as Damon portrays Bourne and that is what makes this movie so effective. There is a willingness of the actors to play each role as if they were “hitting the ground running” and it certainly pours over into the audience.
The Bourne Ultimatum wraps up the trilogy nicely unlike some of the other three-quels we have seen this summer. It is hard to say that this is the best action movie to come along in quite sometime because bold statements like that leave things for debate. It can be said that this definitely the best in the series and surely the best of the summer. By the time the movie lets you go you will be breathless, but begging for a fourth and hoping to be Bourne again.

The Soundtrack

2007-08-01T12:33:00.000-04:00

Soundtracks often make or break movies. They add emotion to the screen and when carefully executed, make a movie better than it really should be. Looking back at John Carpenter’s Halloween, it isn’t scary without the creepy Michael Myers music. Carpenter himself said so in numerous interviews and that movie depends greatly on the “musical ambiance” that is set forth. Movie soundtracks have a way of crawling into pop culture as they become more recognizable. Everyone knows that John Williams is the probably the master of the soundtrack. He has Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars, E.T., Jaws, and many more to his credit. These soundtracks are all impressive in their own right because they identify characters and situations in such distinctive ways. Then there is the lyrical soundtrack. It has to be difficult to put together music from a collection to reflect the situations that exist on screen. Sometimes it is the director’s taste or it is music from a certain period. Think about Pulp Fiction and its glorious soundtrack. If different songs are chosen Tarrantino ends up with a completely different movie. The audience reaction is probably not as strong and Pulp Fiction goes down as an ordinary film. The point is that the soundtrack may be the most important part of film making. Today’s Roar is dedicated to the soundtrack and no, Dirty Dancing will not be in top five just in case you were wondering.

5) Star Wars Trilogy
Yes, I am a geek when it comes to this ,but the Imperial March gives me goose bumps. You know you’ve hit big when every college football band plays your music. The Cantina Band was very innovative for its time and I still love that scene in Star Wars. EVERYONE knows the main theme and its brief appearance in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off made that movie for me.

4) Resevoir Dogs
“Stuck in the Middle with You…” I cannot help but to think of ears when I hear that song. Michael Madsen is one psychotic wacko, but that was fun to watch. Put the Lime in the Coconut and Shake it All Up!

3) Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
I do not think there is a more unique soundtrack and this one is really just preference on my part. There is something calming about old blue grass/and field hollering music. I listen to this often and it soothes my sometimes aching soul. Not a bad flick either.

2) Pulp Fiction
Of course Pulp Fiction! Every song defines a moment in the film from Bustin’ Surfboards to Jungle Boogie. I must confess that I listened to this soundtrack more than any other for the dialogue. I now want a Royale with Cheese.

1) The Big Chill
When I was kid I’d steal this record from my mom’s collection and take it to my room. It was my first experience with Motown and I credit it for broadening my horizons beyond Mister Mister. Smokey Robinson’s Tears of a Clown is still my favorite song and I would have loved to experience Motown firsthand, but The Big Chill will have to do.

Where Have You Gone?

2007-07-31T08:46:00.000-04:00

Recently I was passing by the old Little League field where I used to play. There is something heartbreaking about staring at a childhood memory. Maybe it is the innocence in which I used to play baseball or all sports for that matter. Maybe it was my head grabbing at memories of when I felt like a “ball player.” I saw myself twenty years ago, standing in ripped, orange stained baseball pants with my hand-me-down glove and cleats. My heart ached for second and I could feel my eyes fill with tears. Trips down “memory lane” are often emotional, but this was different. The emotions were different because baseball is trivial in the grand scheme of things. It means very little to most, but everything to some. I guess I fall in the category of “some.” As I drove past the field and further down the road, I remembered a few things about baseball and how it lit a fire in my belly. I looked at baseball cards every night and I could swear that I was looking at “gods.” These were men blessed with powers that were beyond me. I wondered often if guys like Gary Templeton, Ozzie Smith, George Brett, and Mike Schmidt ever played "wall ball" to practice fielding or did they keep stats in their Wiffle Ball leagues? Oh the memories flooded me and I immediately had thoughts of my father standing behind the screen, watching me pitch. I was a fat twelve year old who was deadly with his fastball and scarily accurate with a four-fingered change-up. My father stood proudly in his beat up work uniform every time I took the mound. The game was fun, I knew my ERA and he’d count strikeouts. As much as it is a team game, it was usually just my dad and I when I pitched. We made side bets all the time. I once made the “outlandish” prediction that I would strikeout 15 batters. He smiled at me and told me I could have a dollar for every batter over ten. I struck-out 16 and he gave me 16 ones. I was rich that day, but not because of money.
Baseball is about memories. It is about purity and integrity, sons and fathers, and all the good that exist in competition. The youth of today are being robbed of these experiences as the greatest game ever invented collapses upon itself due to its own ignorance. Baseball’s purity is threatened at every turn as parents run their precious superstars off to hitting, pitching and fielding clinics. The days of the sandlot are over and “wall ball” has become an archaic form of practice. The simplicity of the game has been compromised by parents who want to live vicariously through their children. Baseball has become about money at the most basic level. Little League has become a caricature of itself and has lost its child-like innocence.
There is a “fix” for the problem and baseball now relies on a generation of thirty-somethings to repair its damaged image. It is our responsibility to reflect on our memories and share them with our sons, daughters, and anyone who will share in our appreciation for the game. Baseball in all of its glory is a beautiful distraction from our everyday lives. The “diamond” can be the best therapy for a “rough day” and it can be a great game once more if we give back all that has been given.

Today’s Roar-Movies that encapsulate the meaning of childhood and baseball

The Sandlot
Benny “the Jett” Rodriguez and his gang of misfits just play ball for the sake of playing ball. I love that they beat the snot out of the town’s organized sports club. These kids play just to play. This movie does a fine job of capturing the history of the game as well as reminding us of those childhood “pickles” we use tot get ourselves into on a weekly basis. Never play with an autographed ball signed by Babe Ruth!

The Bad News Bears
I always saw this movie has a slight towards organized sports. It is still refreshing to watch this movie because the parents are still representative of today’s Little League adults. The little triumphs that each player experiences throughout this movie are priceless. This movie may be one of the great baseball movies. If you are ever a coach always look for the kid riding his moped. He may be able to hit homeruns for you.

The Art of the Trailer

2007-07-23T16:25:00.000-04:00

If there is one thing I hate, it is arriving to a movie late. My favorite part of the movie going experience is watching ten minutes of trailers. Trailers sell movies and create major “buzz.” There is something to be said for a good movie preview. Movie studios dangle them like bait and hope that come opening day we bite and bite hard. This usually happens with the big blockbusters. Nowadays studios release what they call “teasers.” Now teasers are interesting. Sometimes it is just a flash of a main character saying or doing something, followed by the release date. Other times it is a brief scene with no dialogue and music. I am not a fan of the “teaser.” It is too reminiscent of every date I was ever on in high school. Good trailers don’t give away too much of the film and build as they crash onto the screen with the big finale. Studios are smart these days because the show previews six months to a year before the actual release of the film. This lays the foundation for us to reach into our wallets and hand over our nine dollars. Now, I have been the victim of some classic trailers. These are movies I couldn’t wait to see because of the people who spliced together two minutes of goodness. In these cases, the trailers were far better than the actual film. I do want to say “kudos” to the manipulative nature of the “trailer making people” who baited me by using my impulsiveness against me. I deemed these five films to be great or even Oscar worthy because of a trailer without seeing the entire film.

5) Independence Day
This one aired during the Super Bowl. It showed the White House being blown to smithereens. I honestly had no idea what the movie was about, but hey, the White House was blown to bits and I was hooked. The summer came and I saw this movie and it was ridiculous. The President could read the minds of the aliens and “see” their overall plan to exterminate humans. You “tricky trailer making people” got me on this one.

4) Hulk
Talk about a teaser, Wow! Eric Bana looking in his mirror, face changing, house shaking, title and it was over. Holy crap I was excited. I couldn’t wait to see this one. It was going to be awesome watching the Hulk get angry and “Hulk smash” stuff. So naturally I shelled out some “bones” and saw this one only to get The Notebook for superheroes. I love being told how “cerebral” this movie is. It is “cerebral” because of its slow pace and bad acting.

3) Alexander
I was happy that a motion picture was going to be made about one of the greatest historical figures. The story of Alexander is fascinating. “Conquer your fear and I promise you will conquer death…” gave me tingles and made want to fight for Sparta. Then I saw the cast, Farrell, Jolie, Hopkins, and Oliver Stone as director. This was going to be epic on all scales. What it ended up being was a steaming turd laid in front of me for two and half hours. Great trailer though…thanks (sarcasm).

2) Van Helsing
A terrific idea for a movie. I couldn’t wait to see Van Helsing hunting down vampires. Hugh Jackman was coming off X-Men fame and perfectly cast. The trailer was put together nicely with morphing vampires and Van Helsing armed with cool gadgets. Jackman confessing that being a vampire hunter is his “curse” put me in line to see this. The only thing cursed was this abomination of a movie. This thing should be aborted from every video store shelf. If you have a copy in your house, get rid of it because it will steal an hour and half of your life.

1) Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
This was it. This was the trailer we waited sixteen years to see. There was no way after seeing this trailer that Star Wars would not regain control of the movie industry. Every Generation has a legend… and you know the rest. The music cues and suddenly my pants are wet. This trailer might be part of the greatest hoax of all time. This was going to be THE Star Wars movie. It was going to bind generations together. Young kids were once again going to collect toys, wear t-shirts, fight outside with plastic lightsabers and utter quotes from Episode One. The only quotes uttered were “Wow, that sucked!” and “What the hell is a midichlorian (sp)?” You evil trailer making bastards made me feel good until May of 1999 and then I was hit with Jar Jar and the kid from Jingle All the Way whining about his pod racer. Thanks for the raping of my childhood, but hey, the trailer was GRRREAT! (Click the picture of Obi-Wan and Anakin to the right of this article to view trailer)

I just can't take my eyes off of you.

2007-07-21T19:06:00.000-04:00

There are days when you are sitting on your couch with your remote in hand flipping endlessly through channel after channel. It is one of those days for you. There is nothing of consequence sports wise, drizzle has speckled your windows, and you’re still wearing your pajama bottoms. As you press the channel up button and yawn with your mouth as big as a boa constrictor, Al Pacino is sitting at the dinner table with his family. You immediately stop and the remote falls to the floor with a dull thud. You know you won't need it anymore because THIS is The Godfather. You sit with great anticipation as you wait for James Caan to put his brother-in-law in a trashcan. You have watched this movie sixty-one times, yet, it still enthralls. Your wife or girlfriend enters the room and proposes a trip to the mall or some other mundane activity that will satisfy no voids in your day. Then you have it, the power of The Godfather. She sees Pacino hiding the gun in the bathroom and with a voice of utter contempt she says, “I’ll be back in a few hours.” This is the power of a movie you cannot turn off no matter the circumstance. This is the beauty of having five hundred cable channels. This is your day.

For the sake of today’s Roar I have listed five movies that I cannot turn off. This means I will continue watching no matter where I "pick it up" on T.V.

5) Field of Dreams/Hoosiers
This was a difficult decision because this list could easily have five sports themed movies. Field of Dreams is a classic as is Hoosiers. Both are tear-jerkers in their own way. It is damn near impossible to not cry at the thought of having a catch with your dad. Hoosiers is just the perfect David versus Goliath story. Ollie does make his free throws and all is well in Hickory. If these movies are on, I will come.
Favorite Moments: “They will come Ray…” and every speech Hackman gives to his team.

4) Clash of the Titans
It is Ray Harryhausen at his best. The gods on Mount Olympus deciding the fate of Perseus and a mash of many tales make this one entertaining movie. I am still scared to death of the cannibalistic Stygian Witches. Give us back the eye!
Favorite moment: Any scene with Calibos.

3) Jaws
Jaws always frightened me as a kid and frankly, I never understood the buzz around the movie until I was about 12. I came to the realization that it wasn’t just a shark movie, but these characters were in a dreadful situation. They weren’t just prop pieces so the shark could eat on screen. The real menaces were the people of Amity. Robert Shaw, Roy Scheider, and Richard Dreyfuss are all aces in this flick. “You scream barracuda…” and I am there watching.
Favorite moment: Boys playing shark prank on beachgoers only to have the real deal bite some dudes leg off moments later. Classic.

2) Rocky
Rocky isn’t a sports movie as much as it is a human drama. I cannot turn this movie off and I get choked up at the every time Stallone crawls into bed with Adrian and confesses that he cannot beat Apollo. The man knows his destiny and after all these years, I am not turning this one off.
Favorite moment: Apollo’s entry into the ring.

1) The Shawshank Redemption
When thinking of perfect movies this is the movie I think of because it is textured so beautifully in every scene. It flawlessly weaves major themes in and out of every moment. Andy and Red have a great on screen friendship that is not only seen, but felt. This movie is on T.V. frequently, but it also finds its way into DVD player now and again. I’d crawl a mile in crap just to watch this one.
Favorite Moment: Negotiating beers for the boys while doing hard labor.

Imagination Lost: A True Toy Story

2007-07-20T09:37:00.000-04:00

Imagination Lost: A True Toy Story

When I was a child toys were a huge part of my life. I had GI Joe, Transformers, and Star Wars toys laying all over my room. The toys themselves were designed well and pretty durable considering I took them in a multitude of environments. There was something about playing with toys that was special as opposed to simply collecting them. It never occurred to me or any of my friends to leave an action figure in its package or to keep the original box in pristine shape. I saw playing with toys has a game of participation. It was chance to create a storyline and use my limitless imagination. I created worlds and characters that had not previously existed. Whatever I imagined became a reality. There were continuing storylines that went on for years and it was exciting to spend my free time just being a kid. Childhood is something to behold. It is probably the most powerful experience any of us will ever have. There is a simplicity and beauty to being a kid. The mind thinks differently, perhaps it is the way we should think in adulthood. Think simple with a big imagination and things will certainly get accomplished. Something terrible has happened to childhood in recent times. Imagination has been stolen and replaced by video game consoles.

As I watch generation after generation grow, it is apparent that children need to be entertained and modern toys seem to do all the entertaining. Kids are not required to use toys as a vehicle to their imaginations. Instead, toys are used as vehicles to earn a way into their parent’s wallets. I cannot walk into a toy store and buy a toy for $1.99 anymore and have a child be satisfied. Nowadays, we spend five to six hundred dollars on a video game console. Video games themselves are not to blame. Parents however need to shoulder some of the responsibility for the sad state of childhood. In my neighborhood, kids do not play outside anymore, pick-up games are a rarity, and I haven’t seen a tree fort or secret club pop up anywhere around my wooded property. I have to believe that sports clinics and the X-Box 360 are doing ALL of the thinking for today’s youths. There are exceptions to the rule, but it is hard to swallow that “childhood,” in all of its glorious splendor, has been hijacked by corporate terrorists.

The impact of toys on my life has been very substantial, but it wasn’t just toys that made being a kid special. It was the use of my imagination. There were things that existed in my head that did not exist anywhere else. I had an Atari and it was cool, but not as cool as my GI Joe Base or my Death Star playset. Pac-Man could never be a substitute for Roadblock or Optimus Prime. I recently stood in a collectibles store and I saw some of my old toys in glass cases staring at me as if they were saying, “Where have you been?” It was a true Peter Pan moment. I am now an “old man” by most childhood standards and my imagination isn’t what it used to be. I still catch a glimpse now and again of childhood and it feels so good that my eyes well up with tears. I cannot wait to have children some day and stand in their bedroom. It is my hope that it will no longer be a glimpse into childhood, but a permanent stay through the eyes of my kid. I will be able to go “home” again and I will surely bring my toys with me.

Thanks to Wayne Keller for giving me the idea for this article

Bad Assness

2007-07-19T08:32:00.000-04:00

Do remember the first time you saw Samuel L. Jackson’s Jules hand down his edict to a group of terrified kids in Pulp fiction? Watching Jackson in that scene personifies the meaning of Bad Assness. Now, assness isn’t a word. It is more of a state of being. It can be seen on screen when a character is in complete control in a dire situation or when he/she just refuses to give into impossible odds. There are some truly bad ass characters that have hit the cinema. They radiate something from the screen to the audience. There is a certain confidence in their being and they usually perform well under extreme duress. Do they always succeed? No. They don’t have to win to carry the mantel of Bad Assness. So for the purpose of today’s roar, I have picked some true bad asses who for whatever reason, show that they possess great bad assness on screen.

5) Arnold Schwarzenegger (Predator)
“ You are one ugly…,”Great line and Arnold’s Dutch shows us just how bas ass he really is. Dutch is faced with impossible odds in this movie. The Predator is far more advanced and an accomplished hunter. Arnold is beaten in the end he takes both he and the alien out. The defining scene is Dutch buried in the mud with only his eyes showing, that alone gives Arnold Bad Assness.

4) Patricia Arquette (True Romance)
Alabama gets her head beat to a pulp by James Gandolfini and she keeps on ticking. This is probably the most violent scene you’ll ever witness in a movie and Arquette shows why she carries bad assness. She must weigh 100 pounds less than Gandolfini yet she gets the better of him. A truly gruesome, but ultimately satisfying scene. Yes, women can be bad asses too.

3) Bruce Willis (Die Hard)
It is a no-brainer. John Mclane cannot be stopped in Die Hard, but the scene that gives him bad assness is when he walks on broken glass in bare feet. Some of us would rather be shot at or thrown out a window. Shards of glass in the feet has got to hurt and think about how much you’d have to really rely on walking/running to fight terrorists. Yippie Kay Oww!

2) Christian Bale (Batman Begins)
Training with the League of Shadows should be enough for Bruce Wayne, but it is not. To actually get yourself arrested to study the mindset of criminals is a bold thing to do. Bale plays Wayne/Batman perfectly in this movie and carries a ton of bravado, but not before getting beat up. His toughness becomes clear during his training with Ducard (Liam Neeson). He finally gave the villains of Gotham something to fear, a symbol and his bad assness.

1) Robert Shaw (Jaws)
"...I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So,
eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out,
the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb."

Quint is number one and his bad assness is over the top in one of the greatest scenes in movie history.

Prime Time

2007-07-18T19:23:00.000-04:00

The truth is that Transformers were some of the coolest toys of the eighties. They provided a dual purpose. You purchased a militarized robot that could also change into a car, truck, plane, or a handgun. The toys, however, were deeply flawed. It took too long to transform them back and forth, so having a battle took hours as opposed to the minutes it took to put a grenade launcher into the hands of a G.I. Joe. The movie, like the toys is deeply flawed too. It lacks a tight script and pays too little attention to its cast (robots included). I sat in the theater and thought to myself, “What is this movie?” It is bad…bad ass. This movie, Transformers, with all of its flaws is undeniably fun.

Transformers stars Shia LaBeouf (Disturbia) as Sam. LaBeouf is a star in the making and I hope he continues to pick roles that really show how talented an actor he can be. Transformers isn’t the movie that will define his career, but it is the sort of spring board that will launch him into better roles. LaBeouf’s Sam is the typical high school boy. He is love sick for the local hottie Mikaela Banes (Meghan Fox) and summazizes that the only way to get her is to have a car. His wish is granted in the form of Camaro. Sam soon discovers that his car is also a robot and has its own personality. This is played out well in a few entertaining scenes involving Sam and his potential girlfriend. This is where Transformers could have turned into an E. T. type movie or Iron Giant. Both options are avoided in favor of Autobots (good guys) and Decepticons (bad guys) destroying everything in their paths.

I was more than happy that director Michael Bay chose the direction of Autobots and Decepticons obliterating each other. Bay has always been chastised for providing audiences with little in terms of a good script, but let’s face it, this is Transformers. The action sequences are some of the best I have scene in recent history. There are distinct details given to each robot and the slow motion action scenes allow the audience to see just how unique each character is when using their specialty. This is the best work ILM as ever done and the fan boy in me almost wishes they had waited to make the new Star Wars trilogy. The robots/cars transform seamlessly and the “CGI” is rarely identifiable. This movie is a rare case where special effects really do tell the story.

Michael Bay has done something special here. He has created a FUN summer movie. There is no “dark side” or deep mental issue. It doesn’t involve pirates and their daddy issues and there are no green ogres. This is a movie that defines summer, a big bucket of popcorn and huge smiles. The eight-year old boy in me had a blast and I can say with confidence this movie is more than meets the eye.

You Can Phone Home Again

2007-07-17T11:34:00.000-04:00

Recently, I read a review of the movie Transformers. This particular critic said that it was the greatest time he has had at the theater in fifteen years. His comment got me to thinking about movies and their importance in our lives. Movies by themselves are really inconsequential in the “grand scheme” of things. They are a form of art that performs the public service of escapism. They allow us a brief vacation from reality or in some instances; they remind us of who we are. I was jealous that I wasn’t in the theater during this particular showing of Transformers because I wanted so much to have THAT experience where the audience is captivated and cheering the screen. It gives me “goose bumps” just thinking about how fun movies can be. Then it hit me. I have had that experience and it was with an unlikely person, my mother.

My mom isn’t a lover of film and truthfully, she never appreciated movies the way I have. However, she did appreciate my love for film. She has taken me to see some of the all-time greatest movies ever made. I remember seeing The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, The Muppet Movie, Superman I and II, and The Dark Crystal. Taking me to a movie was a departure from her normal routine of work and I think she liked the idea of the two of us hanging out for two hours. I miss those times. During the summer of 1982 a young boy realized just how special movies can be. My Mother grabbed me from my grandmother’s house on a hot afternoon and little did I know that E.T. would be THAT film experience for me.

To say E.T. might be the perfect movie is an understatement. It has endured the test of time and is still regarded as one of the best films to hit Cineplex’s. For me, it is more personal. My mother and I entered the theater and it was crowded. We sat in the front of the theater and it didn’t matter to me because I was getting to spend time with the person I loved most in the world. She loaded me up with the “big bucket” of corn. I still purchase the big popcorn until this day. I had no idea what E.T. was about, all I knew is that I saw a kid flying a bike in the poster. I was more than exited to see flying bikes. When the movie started I was immediately captivated by a creature running around the forest as police chased him. I was also scared. I snuggled against my mom’s thigh looking for protection. As the movie went on, I would glance at my mom to see if she was interested and to my delight she never took her eyes off the screen. We both ate our popcorn slowly and this was tough for a fat kid like me because I was used to heaping it down my throat. Then it happened, the moment I’ll never forget. E.T. was close to certain death as he lay in a ditch. He was a pasty white and mumbling. I looked at my mother and saw her crying. I began to cry, but not because the cute, little alien was dying. I cried because it was the first time in my life I saw my mom as vulnerable. Frankly, it was refreshing because she was now human to me. She looked at me and smiled with tears in her eyes as if to tell me, “Look at us crying at a movie.” Yes, we were crying at a movie and it was a definitive and poetic moment in my life. My mom was human and not some Extra-Terrestrial.

Don't Put These Movies In A Corner!

2007-07-15T18:31:00.000-04:00

A guilty pleasure is something you know shouldn’t like, but you do. For example, some manly men may like “girl drinks” or the sound of Justin Timberlake blasting through their car system. I for one only like beer and Justin Timberlake blasting through my car stereo, but only if he is with N-Sync. So for today’s “roar,” I’ve named five movies that are pure guilty pleasures. I do not regard them as good movies, but as movies I like. These are movies I watch in secret and “may” have in my DVD collection. I encourage you to comment and list your own “guilty pleasures.”

5) Road House
I don’t know what it is about this movie, but any time Sam Elliot shows up in a film I like it. The ending is a bit over the top, but the villain, Ben (Brad Wesley), did bring J.C. Penny to town and he wasn’t afraid to tell us. Plus, I enjoy a big monster truck scene in any movie.

4) Cabin Boy
Cabin Boy shockingly was not nominated for any academy awards, but this movie is damn funny. Chris Elliot does what Chris Elliot does best, he plays a “boob” named Nathaniel Mayweather. This movie doesn’t take itself too seriously and you shouldn’t either. Hey, wanna buy a monkey?

3) Fools Rush In
Salma Hayek is hot, hot, hot. I still believe this is a great romantic comedy. You could say it is the original Knocked Up. Matthew Perry plays an architect who has a one night stand with Hayek. She becomes pregnant and the relationship begins in reverse. I enjoyed the birth at the Hoover Dam. Again, Hayek is hot.

2) Above the Law
Steven Seagal is the man in this movie. He plays Nico Toscani a cop with an attitude and like every action movie from this genre, he is an ex-Vietnam veteran. I love the fact that Seagal actually has writing credits on this film. Sharon Stone also appears as his wife. What, are you gonna arrest me for liking this movie?

1) Dirty Dancing
I feel “dirty” just writing about this film. Yes, I called it a film because it is cinematic treasure. I developed a bit of crush on Jennifer Grey after this movie. I only view it under the guise that my wife is watching it and I was forced. Jerry Orbach plays a cool dad too. Nobody puts this movie in a corner.

I'll take an order of the Phoenix

2007-07-12T20:50:00.000-04:00

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix could easily have slipped into dangerous territory for director David Yates. Yates could have made a derivative film based on the efforts of previous directors Christopher Columbus, Alfonso Curaon, and Mike Newell. After five movies the easy is question is…What is so special about this series? The answer is in the cast. It is remarkable to see Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint) , and Hermione (Emma Watson) grow on screen. There is a chemistry in this movie that has not only improved, but has worked itself to near perfection. It is evident that a certain amount of comfort exists between the actors. This credit has to go to Columbus because he is the one who put the cast together even though his “Potter” films are the most maligned. Because of the cast Yates has made a very good movie.
This movie like the book isn’t typical Harry Potter. It is less about magic and wonderment that goes with being a student at Hogwarts. It isn’t about Professor Snape, Dumbledore, or Hagrid. “Phoenix” is about friendship. It is not a stylistic movie friendship, where it is hard to see where the relationship began. It isn’t about “fair weather friends.” No, the friends of Harry in this movie (and book) are fiercely loyal and willing to die for a cause. These are the type of friends that are portrayed in the movie Good Will Hunting. They may take wands to your head instead of bats, but it is all the same. There is something beautiful about watching or reading about relationships based on love and loyalty. It is what we need the most to survive and it is certainly something Harry needs to complete his destiny. Love and loyalty are the only weapons he has to defeat Voldemort.
When we first see Harry he is contemplating life on a swing in the “muggle” world. His cousin Dudley, now bigger than ever and more dangerous, begins picking on Harry once again. Suddenly, the wizard world collides with human existence. A battalion of Dementors are dispatched to suck the life out of Harry. This is a shocking event to everyone in the wizard world because the Dementors do not belong in current day England. This incident spurs Dumbeldore to continue trying to convince The Ministry of Magic that Voldemort is back and mounting an army. The “government” is in complete denial that Voldemort is a threat and has grabbed control of the papers and media to spin everything in their favor. Meanwhile, Professor Dolores Umbridge is “placed” in Hogwarts to keep a close eye on Dumbledore. Umbridge is played amazingly well, by Imelda Staunton. This was probably a “Potterites” biggest fear that she wouldn’t come off mean enough. Fans won’t be disappointed. Umbridge finally takes control of the school and lays out “educational decrees” which are an attempt to control every aspect of Hogwarts. The focus being that the students do not need to learn to defend themselves because there is no real threat. Harry and his mates seem to know better and create a secret club called Dumbledore’s Army. Potter is enlisted has their leader and even though some of the students are apprehensive first, they learn to follow Harry. This is where the movie works best. These are kids taking education into their own hands, not for a test, but for self-preservation. This all leads up to an arousing clash between a bunch of unseasoned kids against the battle tested loyalists to Voldemort. The climax is the best in the movie series so far and it probably would payoff to see the IMAX 3-D version.
This series could have become a commercial. Every year or so we could have been inundated with merchandising from all angles. Yes ,there is Potter merchandise, but not to the extent of some other franchises. The movies have gotten better as the characters have grown more sophisticated. As a fan of the novels it has been pleasure to read Rowling’s books. Her writing has improved with every line and it is clear that the screen writers have done the same with the movies. Like or not Harry Potter has become a mythological icon in literature and now film. I for one, like it.

Underrated

2007-07-11T11:55:00.000-04:00

It was not easy to pick five movies that are underrated. The criteria for picking just five kept changing and my rationale for each is admittedly flawed. I have chosen five movies that I felt are under appreciated as films either for excellent scripts or amazing performances. I welcome comments, debates, or pure disagreements. You see, I love movies and almost everyone has an opinion when it comes to film. I do not profess to know more than anyone when it comes to cinema, but I do believe I bring a unique perspective when it comes to creating these lists. I hope you enjoy my five most underrated movies.

5) Serpico
Pacino sports maybe the coolest beard as he plays an undercover cop. This movie is underrated because most do not talk about this as being one of Al’s shining career moments. His performance still gives me chills.

4) Donnie Darko
Sure it has a cult following, but Jake Gyllenhaal is flat-out scary in this film. Patrick Swayze has an unlikely role and when the truth about his predilection for young children is revealed it is quite shocking. Watching characters go schizo is a dangerous thing in movies, but this film has a visual style that is unmatched in most and carries itself well. Plus, we get to see a six-foot rabbit named Frank.

3) Donnie Brasco
Yup, another Donnie movie. It has always been interesting to me that when “mob” movies are mentioned “Brasco” is very rarely mentioned. It is usually Goodfellas, The Godfather, and Casino. I think “Brasco” is better than Casino because of the two male leads. Pacino( Lefty) and Depp (Joey Pistone) give TWO amazing performances and Michael Madsen (Sonny Black) is quite good too. Pacino brings such sadness to his character and Depp definitely has chemistry with Al.

2) Dazed and Confused
This is a coming of age story that is flawlessly executed. I have never felt so good after watching a movie than I felt watching Dazed and Confused. It is the quintessential “greatest night of our lives” movie ever made and in my opinion surpasses American Graffitti on almost every level. Great performance by Matthew McConaughey as Wooderson. I get older, but this movie gets better with age.

1) The Ice Storm
Ang Lee’s crowning achievement in my opinion. In a movie about human relationships, it has never been handled so well. Lee explores the implications of relationships through literal and symbolic terms. This movie was truly heartbreaking for me to watch and I spent days thinking about it after seeing it in an empty theater. I guess the effect it had on me is why I have it listed has the most underrated movie. It did not get the critical acclaim it deserved.

Overrated, Overrated, Overrated!!!

2007-07-09T20:42:00.000-04:00

This all started a week ago when I was watching couple of hugely popular films on television. As I watched, It had occurred that both of these films are the most overly hyped, overly acted and overly liked by the masses for reasons that are unknown to me. I have chosen five movies for this purpose that I believe are overrated. You will probably disagree wholeheartedly with my choices. Some of you may accuse me of smoking dope or doing other hallucingines. I am fine with that because the purpose of a "list" is always to spur on debate among the masses. It has always amazed me that people fall in love with certain movies. I have to admit some of my favorites are bad films by certain standards. Here is the list:

5)It's a Wonderful Life
Frank Capra does a "wonderful" job directing this mess of a movie. Jimmy Stewart is Jimmy Stewart of course. I have always liked this movie because it is associated with the holiday, but lets face it this guy wants to KILL himself. We as the audience have to be empathetic to his griping. He has a "wonderful" wife and beautiful children. Lets feel bad for poor Jimmy and wish him a Merry Christmas. Every time a bell rings another overbloated holiday movie is made a classic.

4) Gladiator
Hey, I am Russell Crowe and my movie won an Oscar. I have never gotten Gladiator as a great movie. Is it cool? Sure. The guy fights a lion/tiger that is cool enough for me. Russell Crowe is all of five feet four inches tall. It is hard for me to see him has this chisled bad ass even though in real life he likes to fight. Nice work in this movie by Richard Harris. Gladiator lacked realism for me. I think it was Joaquin Phoenix as Commodus who gave the Thumbs Down and so do I.

3) Scarface
I know, I know you all love this craptacular movie. This movie moves at the speed of mud. Pacino is great, but the movie is actually pretty terrible. It must have been difficult to write a movie with f**** in every quarter of a word. I think more young kids love this movie than adults and that is sad. I love Pacino and he will show up on tomorrow's list of underrated films, but for now Scarface is overrated. Say Hello to that you drug dealin' imbecile.

2)The Usual Suspects
This movie drives me absoulutley crazy. Let's have the audience believe one thing and spring it on them later that it was just the opposite. Seriously, Kevin Spacey is overrated as an actor with the exception of American Beauty which is a gem. The problem with "Suspects" is that you have to like it because the cast is so good. Whoa! Gabriel Byrne is in this, he was in Point of No Return, I have to like it because my manhood will be questioned. I still don't know the difference between Kaiser Roll and Keyser Soze.

1) Titanic
A million Oscars. Tons of money. A sinking ship. A love story. James Cameron. When I first saw this movie, I was amazed how tense people were, like they didn't know the ship was going to hit an iceberg. Billy Zane was impressive however. Jack and Rose was a love story for the ages especially when her virginty is taken and all we see is her hand on steamy glass. Titanic was tragedy not only as a real life event, but as a film. Terminator, Titanic..I am still baffled here Jimbo. I'd see Aquaman though especially if he swims to the Titanic.

Hey Ma, I am Knocked Up

2007-07-09T10:18:00.000-04:00

Knocked Up

Knocked Up is Judd Apatow’s (The 40-Year-Old Virgin) latest romantic-comedy. A lot of writers/director’s suffer from a sophomore slump after a huge hit. It is hard to forget Kevin Smith’s rise and fall and rise again with his “Jersey Trilogy.” Clerks was witty sprayed with brilliant, comical dialogue. Mallrats was not the hit everyone expected only to be outdone by Chasing Amy, which was borderline brilliant when dealing directly with its character’s relationship issues. Apatow is different from Smith in many ways, but both deal with real life situations very effectively. Knocked Up takes a worn out formula and makes it special, much like Smith’s curve ball with Chasing Amy. This movie isn’t Maid in Manhattan or Hitch. It is something that is much more personal. It is about marriage, pregnancy, friendship, and ultimately an unlikely coming of age story. The brilliance of the movie is it appeals to everyone. It is part a male-bonding buddy movie and a chick-flick rolled into one. The plot of this movie is simple, a man out punts his coverage and lands a hottie in which he impregnates. This where comedy hijinks should ensue, but what we get is much more
Ben Stone played by Seth Rogan (The 40-Year-Old Virgin) doesn’t play by the rules of a romantic-comedy. He isn’t the sweet protagonist who is love sick and looking to give his good intentions to the right woman. No, Ben is a selfish and at times, an unlikable twit, with his head buried in his rear-end. He is unemployed, and has exactly 117 dollars in his bank account. He is not ready for life, but life is ready for him. This is where Apatow shows us his brilliance. He gives us a touching scene between Ben and his father (played by Harold Ramis) where it clearly shows how scared Ben is at the possibilities of being a father. His dad has no profound advice, but supports his son without judgment. This is where the movie switches gears a bit and we begin to see just how poignant the story really is. How many times in our lives are we not ready to change who we are, but “life” forces us to do so? This becomes Ben’s dilemma throughout the movie and at times it takes him a while to change his ways.
Katherine Heigl plays a completely different character in Alison. Alison is career motivated, has a bank account and is not ready to be pregnant. Apatow again shows us his true talent and his actually able to make us see things from the female perspective. This isn’t the movie where the man has to rescue the women. In most ways, it is the woman rescuing the man. I liked this aspect of the film. There are a few very touching scenes between Alison and her sister Debbie. What is wonderful about each of those scenes is that they are set upon comedic back-drop and as a viewer you are forced to take in what is said while smiling.
The most refreshing characters of Knocked Up are Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann) who play Alison’s sister and brother-in-law. Is their marriage perfect? No, not by a long shot. Again, it is not formulaic where the perfect married couple has all the answers for the two love sick kids. These two characters are stressed with life as parents and life as a married couple. Pete probably has the funniest lines in the movie. His view on marriage is “… it is like an Episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, just not funny.” I loved Pete and Debbie as a character study. Many of you reading this will probably relate to Pete’s reasons for wanting to leave the house at certain times, which leads to his wife suspecting him of cheating.
Pete and Ben almost immediately become friends and as a guy I could certainly relate to their friendship. Rudd and Rogan pick up right where they left off in their previous efforts in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. They play off each other so naturally. It is my hope that these two actors do more movies together because there is something special there. Their trip to Las Vegas in this film is something to behold. It is especially funny because it involves psychedelic mushrooms and Cirques De Oles.
Knocked Up isn’t what I expected. It was much more. It was poignant, funny, heart breaking and heart warming. Apatow is now two for two. A real challenge will be for him to create something different, something away from romance. I am now curious to see just what he has in store for us. Until then, I may tried to get Knocked Up again.

Insane in the McLane

2007-07-06T07:26:00.000-04:00

Live Free or Die Hard is the fourth installment of the Die Hard series and is quite possibly the most entertaining of any of the sequels. Watching this movie reminded of last years Rocky Balboa. It was like visiting with an old friend or putting on your most comfortable shirt. John McLane is not our typical hero. He doesn't complain about being old or bitch about his circumstance, he just takes care of the business at hand. The most entertaining part of Bruce Willis's Mclane is that he laughs along with audience at the complete absurdity of surviving the outlandish action. I for one love John McLane. He represents "throwback" action movies. The type of movies where you knew what were getting into. A movie that was laced with blistering action, great one-liners, and dare I say it, heart. These movies exist less and less these days due to CGI characters and "CGI" plots to a certain extent.
(LFODH) is a solid action movie with a solid script. Computer geniuses are plotting to create a three-pronged attack against the American infrastructure. I liked this part of the plot because these weren't just terrorists trying to steal a bomb or another weapon to hold the government hostage. They already have the weapon, technology. Timothy Olyphant plays Thomas Gabriel, a former FBI computer wiz. He warned the government that their system could be easily hacked and the utilities, transportation, and financial records of the country could be greatly compromised. Government officials, in their infinite wisdom, fired him and tarnished his career. He subsequently went into hiding and started plotting his revenge. I liked this character because he isn't some foreign terrorists. He isn't Muslim or some religious yahoo trying to bring down "evil." No, he is some scorned guy trying to prove point that wasn't well received. But with all great action movies, the villain never accounts for the hero. In this case, John Mclane.
Willis is teamed up Justin Long (Accepted) who plays Matt Farrell, a fringe computer genius who is manipulated into creating an algorithm to break National Security. Farrell is taken into custody by Mclane and what is supposed to be a simple transfer of a criminal turns into a fight for their lives. There are some nice moments between Willis and Long and it is clearly evident that Willis is still cool after all these years.
This movie is surrounded by great and implausible action sequences. But this is entertainment. There is a great sequence in the Lincoln Tunnel only to be outdone by an F-25 fighter on a highway. Again, it was pleasure to have John Mclane laugh with me at the ridiculousness of it all. In the end, Mclane is beaten, battered, and bruised.
Live Free or Die Hard just feels right. It is forgettable, but for two hours you will enjoy yourself. If you are from my generation, you will smile at every one-liner and laugh at the elaborate set pieces as they explode. This movie is a relic and if there is to be a fifth installment all I can say is "Yippie-Kay-Yay Mother...."